Facts, I've Never Seen Or Heard A Chaotic Pride Event Unless Straight People/christians/etc. Show Up

SW: 305 lbs

CW: 264 lbs

GW: 169 lbs

UGW: 120 lbs

fucking hell man, I just wanna quickly get below 200 lbs so I can stop feeling like a walking tub of lard all the time

You called me lazy without knowing I was busy trying to keep myself alive.

•Nlaea Meoletta Shakhabova

The Land of Thaw and Salt

LOTAS, the Land of Thaw and Salt, is a world of dawning spring. The world lies at the start of a new age, of a fresh thaw after a millennia long ice age. Massive glaciers the size of mountains cover much of the land, trapping ancient forests and creatures. But, little by little, the icebergs meet the salt flats and more and more creatures and start to awaken, entire ecosystems reviving and meeting the strange new world that they find themselves in.

With such incredible seasonal change comes rampant geographical change. The icebergs and salt flats have stood the test of time, but with their new erosion comes muddy planes, fresh water aquifers, swamps, lakes, and rivers that have started to take over most of the world. The world is breathing as rapid change revives the world anew.

While much of this can be seen as a good thing, not everything coming out of the ice is for the best. With every gentle winter consort comes a thawed out reptile who sees a wonderfully convenient snack. From colossal crocodiles as big as a car to the sleepy sharks who prowl the fresh water springs to the dinosaur-like lizards who hunt their newfound world, the introduction of new predators has all but destabilized a winter world already struggling to adapt!

With every thawing iceberg, more and more of the world shifts into the everglades and more and more consorts struggle. Hunting is made nearly impossible thanks to the growing amount of predators, scavenging is harder with more and more arboreal berries and fruit leaving, even the icy homes of consorts are starting to melt away.

And if all of that wasn’t enough newfound monsters have started to arrive and terrorize the world, winter and spring alike. These creatures come deep from the underground, past the permafrost, into the salt mines where the warmth of spring has grown increasingly warm. And deep within the warm earth, a faint laughter can be heard. 

Everything is changing, for better and worse. If anyone can protect the worlds of winter and spring, stabilize the fluctuating ecology, and find out what entity lies deep beneath the earth, it’s the Knight of Life!

Denizen: Ataegina, the Lusitanian goddess of rebirth.

Features

Permafrost Keep

Deep into the frozen lands lies a mountain unlike any other. A glacier of such bulk and depth that it feels like it could swallow the entire world. Permafrost Keep is where the ice age started and as the world begins to thaw, it stands as a lasting vestige against the world’s warm embrace. Many powerful beasts lurk here. Curiously, these saber toothed tigers and woolly mammoths look an awful lot like underlings…

If you were to dig deep enough, find it’s innermost caverns, you may find the Frozen Yew. Or perhaps, more sinisterly… an underground river that leads to the denizens lair…

The Expanse

The Expanse is a name given to the largest salt flat, lying on the opposite side of the planet to Permafrost Keep. The Expanse is a rugged terrain of sharp spires and treacherous ravines, where ancient dinosaurs roam, free and unrivaled. The Expanse is considered the first lands, where consorts rarely dare to roam. 

Ancient temples of stone lie here, standing testaments against erosion, eternally preserved by salt. The stories and legends here are ancient, beyond ancient, and far beyond the primitive knowledge of consorts. Something about… creating monsters? And this weird word that keeps popping up: ectobiology.

House location

The Knight’s house finds itself in the dead middle of a swamp bed, partially stuck in the mud that, if the front door is open, will flood the house with water up to waist height. Mangrove trees and ivy have started to grow around the house and will soon grow into it, if allowed. Sharks can be seen swimming ominously around the house. Crocodiles too? Every few hours they will fight each other and it will switch between being stalked by crocodiles and stalked by sharks.

Near the house is a small consort village, poorly assembled and poorly managed as they try to fish. To the east, a towering iceberg that reaches the sky can be seen. To the west, an almost desert-like salt flat. 

Denizen den

Ataegina’s den lies deep in the earth, accessed through the long and treacherous salt mines that ramble and weave below the earth’s crust. These salt mines are pitch white and glow different colors depending on the minerals trapped within them, ranging from vibrant pinks to steely grays, and everything in between. These mines are heavily populated by underlings, working the mines to gather salt to melt more icebergs.

If you travel far enough, past the pillars of salt, through the crystal coves, into the uncomfortably warm bottom of the world where nothing lives, you will find massive onyx black doors bearing the mark of Ataegina, the denizen. Her chambers are reflective salt flats, an underground palace of jet black halls where it feels like the whole world is staring you right back in your face. Traveling through her chambers can be perilous should you encounter the multiple high level monsters lurking here. Even if one could avoid them, you just might be haunted by the ominous aura radiating from the halls.

Should you make it through her halls you will find a wide open area, a circular space a dozen stories tall where her many halls converge. Here, Ataegina lies in wait. Smiling all the while as she lays in her fountain of life. 

Mini bosses

The Crocodon

Ranking: S

While many creatures can be seen frozen in the ice, all pale in comparison to the Crocodon. The Crocodon, also called the Crocolith, is a reptilian behemoth, an apex titan that can crush buildings with ease. It’s a kaiju that has reigned supreme before it was trapped away in the ice. It’s not a matter of if the Crocolith will be freed from the ice. It’s a matter of when.

Strengths

Strength. It’s powerful af. Full stop. Be prepared to crack or break a few things.

Endurance. What it lacks in speed, it makes up with stamina.

Weaknesses

Slow. That much muscle takes time to move.

Loot drops

Crocillian knashers- a myriad of giant teeth capable of piercing nearly any armor or magic. Though you have slain the beast… it appears their teeth still live…

Hide of the Beast King- this thick hide of scales makes for an excellent cloak and armor. Increases intimidation and grants resistance to mortal weapons and cold damage

The Frozen Yew

Ranking: A-

Deep within the ice lies a natural spring, a small, enclosed area where a pale blue tree can be found, it’s roots diving deep underground and it’s branches swaying back and forth in response to light. 

Strengths

Quick. Many limbs working in time means they are quick on the draw.

Wise. Knowledge is power and they are surprisingly smart for a tree.

Weaknesses

Brittle. This thing can’t take a hit, but good luck getting that far.

Loot drops

Frostfall dew- these large gelatinous globs hold powerful ice magic. Excellent for creating ice enchanted weapons or creating frost grenades.

Eldest berries- these cool blue berries that, when eaten, allow the eater to breath underwater for 10 minutes. They also make killer smoothies! - - - This post was commissioned by @beastliya ! If you want to commission me or support my content, you can find me @ https://ko-fi.com/kesscal or over at https://linktr.ee/Skywhale09 ! This is my first post with some extended commission possibilities!! House location, denizens den, and mini bosses :D 

Godtier analysis/headcanons

I’m gonna start with Knight of Life because that’s mine, then I’ll go with people i know and then I’ll do other ones. (I’m more likely to do ones that aren’t explicitly described in the comic)

Knight: gender neutral. exploits their aspect as a weapon, usually for the benefit of others. usually uses their aspects in unorthodox ways as well, utilizing what they already have. at the start of a session, a knight lacks their aspect in some way(like dave’s lack of patience). knights have been known to assist in the breeding of a genesis frog. exact abilities are unclear, and lean more towards being an active class. a knight’s session often lacks their aspect in some way(the danscestors’ session wasn’t well planned[lacked mind], the beta session’s reckoning came early[lacked mind], and the beta trolls were divided by their differences and blood color[lacked bonds/blood]) so their duty is usually to compensate for that in some way(dave fixing the timeline, karkat stopping gamzee’s rampage, etc).

Known knights: Dave Strider (Knight of Time), Karkat Vantas (Knight of Blood), and Latula Pyrope (Knight of Mind).

Life: empathy, healing, improvement of self and others, plants. life players are nature oriented and creative.

a Knight of Life would likely have some sort of health condition that negatively impacts their quality of life, such as asthma or EDS. they would also likely lack physical energy. A Knight of Life’s quest would likely revolve around improving their physical condition and restoring life to their land(solving a famine that was harming the consorts or something like that). Their session might be barren, or the other players might lack the energy and/or motivation, and the knight would have to find some way to remedy that(although there’s not much you can do for a barren session). Knights of life would do anything to protect their friends’ lives, even take on serious injuries/conditions or give their own life. this knight would definitely assist in frog breeding, moreso than any other aspect.

Personality wise, Knights of Life are likely realists, seeing things the way they are. they would see a broken system and say “hey, that’s a broken system!” they would not just recognize flaws, but they would be upset by those flaws and do everything in their power to fix them. like any life player, these knights love nature, but their view on it would likely strongly revolve around the desire to protect that nature and/or use it to protect their friends. if you are a knight of life, you probably like hanging out in the woods and gardening, even if you’re not exactly the best at keeping plants healthy or remembering to go outside. you might cry when anyone dies, not just your loved ones. knights of life definitely love animals too, even the ones that could be considered “ugly” by others. nothing makes knights of life angrier than when someone intentionally harms an innocent life/lives. 

a Knight of Life’s abilities may include but are not limited to:

-bringing someone back from the brink of death(no resurrection though; knights can only work with something that already exists)

-transferring someone else’s ailments to themself

-plant manipulation(speedy growth, shapes, weapons, etc)

-quickly healing themself and others

-maximizing someone’s performance, including their own

-increasing cell production(to the extent of making someone develop lots of tumors very quickly)

-curing illnesses

-extending someone’s life beyond the natural span

the extent to which these things could do would depend on the knight’s level, and almost all of them would likely not be available/fully available until they reached godtier. it’s likely that a mortal Knight of Life could heal others, at the expense of part of their lifespan or general health.

source: MSPA wiki

this was mostly just for fun, but please feel free to recommend which one i should do next! i’ll probably reformat this later, but i’m too lazy to do it now lol

Homesteading survival knowledge

Growing Food:

The basics of Growing Food

Crops to grow for Maximum Production

Seed Starting Plan

Grow transplants for free

How to get Seeds for Free

How to find good soil for Free

Amending the Soil

How to Collect Seeds

Re-potting and care for tomato transplants

Growing dry beans

Growing Garlic

How to grow a lot of Leek

Plants going to Seed Explained

Food you can grow and eat in the Winter

Climate change and Food Security

Plant Lemon Trees from Seed

Why is rain much more effective than watering?

Stashing Food

Storing the Food from your Garden

Living in nature and food conservation

Making a Meal from foraged and Garden Food in Winter

Sun-drying Strawberries

Sun-drying Cherry Tomatoes

Citrus Tips

Canning

Blackberry Jam

Strawberry Jam

Salsa (tomatoes, peppers, onion, garlic)

Đuveđ (mixed vegetables preserve)

Ajvar (preserved peppers)

Preserved sugar Cherries

Foraging: 

Edible Mushrooms that grow on trees

Edible Wild Plants to Forage for in Spring

Make Honey out of Dandelions

How to cook with Nettle

Incredible value of Pine Needles

Herbalism

Rose Water

On herbal infusions and poison tea

Herbs to Collect for Tea

How to safely make Elderberry Syrup

Yarrow and Lemon Balm

Basic Medicinal Herbal Tea Uses

Tree Care:

How to grow trees

Where are the Tree Roots?

What is Root Flare

Tree Pruning Mistakes

Types of Pruning cuts

How to Prune Correctly

Other:

Building a Cob House

How to make Earthen Floors

Cooking with minimal use of heat

Processing Forest Clay

How to hand-work clay

How to make laundry detergent out of conkers

Creating baskets out of Newspapers

How to keep your space cool during heat waves

How trees create a living atmosphere

How to get rid of ants

Survival Recipes

What garden plants can be used as poison

its a very long cycle of seeing how many hoops we can jump through for the government, while the gov't takes away life-given rights (access to food, shelter and water) very slowly to force us to go through said hoops and eventually we'll be out priced on homes, outpriced on food and water and families will have no choice but work for all of this until it kills them or until all american populous just gets tired of it and revolts

Btw guys the one “four word horror story” post about vanilla extract wasn’t a prophecy it was literally referencing a far older post (unsure of the exact date as I can’t find the original outside of screenshots, however I have been seeing it since at least 2014) pictured here:

Evidently this has fallen out of collective tumblr consciousness in the last decade but yeah that post wasn’t predictive. This has been a thing for so long