Chocolatehabeneroboi - S.

...I wonder if this has anything to do with the compensation Uber has to do for drivers that get their cars messed up from passengers? because if they do this they not only defeat the purpose of the service, but it'll increase DUI's, car accidents, and they'll lose tons of money from the lack of drunk people being ordered rides home so they're safe instead of dead, and anyone with 2 braincells to rub together can assume this as well.

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

when you burn more calories than you ate >>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm not sure if I actually have an eating disorder or if I'm just faking it

knight of life

knights over compensate for their self perceived lack of aspect by getting balls deep into their aspect, surrounding themself in their aspect. they do that, but not enough that it would raise any red flags to anyone who they didnt let in, who they didnt trust enough to say “hey what do you think about how i do this? am i bad, good, okay? even half decent at it?” the kicker is, they dont trust anyone like that for a long LONG time.

Those bound to the aspect of Life are the universe’s healers. They are concerned with the betterment of themselves and those around them, as well as the onward march of positive progress. Deeply empathetic, they have an intuitive understanding of other’s suffering and the best way of righting those wrongs. If you’re poisoned, chances are the Life-bound have something for what ails ya. This applies to both physical and mental suffering, though it might not be a cure you’ll like. They also have the tendency to put other’s needs before their own, which never ends well for anyone, because the Life-bound can grow bitter if they feel their own self-care has had to be shunted aside. At their best, they are great listeners, caretakers, and nurturers. At their worst, the Life-bound are passive aggressive, and pushy-they’re certain they know best.

a knight of life is a go getter with charisma. if they were a dnd character, they would have minimum a +4 mod on charisma. people automatically like their attitude and energy. if someone were to look at this knight, theyd be like “yeah, this guy seems like they know what theyre doing in almost any social situation.” but in reality, this motherfucker got crippling social anxiety that they hide behind a very WELL put together front. after a big party where they were the shining star, they hide in the bathroom and cry. i mean ugly cry. motherfucker got snot dripping down their face while their head is in their hands and maybe a little bit of rocking back and forth while they over analyze every little thing they did. no one knows about their freak out, though. they did it behind closed doors after everyone at the party left. they didnt tell anyone a word of this meltdown. what happens in the locked bathroom at 2:27 am stays in that locked bathroom. this knight is a perfectionist. they could be getting so many pats on the back about this big project they made. say they have jut finished an animation project. everyone is telling them how wonderful it is, how fluid and beautiful the art is. but they remember the several panels that were rushed and look sketchy as fuck. yeah, its during the biggest motion in the whole project. but if someone were to pause at 32.3 seconds and started walking the animation frame by frame, they would see the shaky lines, the wobbly circles, the weird pen pressure thing when their pen was fucking up. and someone seeing those mistakes would be their undoing.

This.

normally i try to always give these clever titles. i have absolutely no idea why i named this “popping bottlecaps”

Salt preserving a lemon lime mix! So excited! 🤩

They've told us that cooking is drudgery, but we know the truth. With every loaf of bread, every pot of soup, every roasted chicken, we're declaring our independence. As we reclaim these lost skills, we connect the earth to our plates. And that is when everything changes.

- Jill Winger (@ jill.winger on IG)