Gandalf In The Hobbit: You Are Took And That Makes You Absolutely Suited For Adventure!

Lookout looked from me to the boys.  “Oh.  SO gross.”

“Yes,” Ashley said, tilting her head Lookout’s way in a conspiratorial way.  “Keep this in mind when you’re older and interested in your first boys.”

“In my defense and in defense of my gender, I’m not part of this,” Rain said.

one must imagine rain o'fire frazier transgender

i can legally be a prime number have a quick wolfspider 🥳

concept: tristan decides to teach rain how to cook. rain is wary but the first attempts go well so they escalate to pan frying. tristan takes his eyes off the stove for two seconds and rain manages to start a fire. tristan, panicking, immediately switches to byron, who dumps a bunch of water on it (making it TEN TIMES WORSE). byron’s just like “fuck it, i’m out” and switches back to tristan and suddenly the entire kitchen is encased in stone

Had a dream that absurdist memes about Pale became super popular. The text was always out of context stuff starting with "when the", like "When the candle milf exits the ritual through the coin" "When the goblin loses a fight with a cigarette" "When the horror is a sexyman" And it was always overlaid on this image.

A kid I went to middle school with showed me a video that was just a bunch of these. I went "wait a second, I know that possum." I explained what Pale was and he said "oh cool, I'll check it out." And then I woke up. Apparently that was the most unrealistic part of the dream, successfully convincing someone to read Pale.

minecraft parkour civilization could easily be a path from late-pale and well. need i say any more?

When you try to Google Tony Hawk but accidentally type in Tiny Hawk

(Source)

Brie in Pale 3.z

Some things that are great about Pale, if you're unsure about reading it:

A murder mystery in which none of the suspects can lie, and yet half-truths and sneakiness make this absolutely riveting to investigate

A social justice story about working your damndest to make a better world and a serious examination of what it really takes to change the system

Three teenage protagonists who are all incredible people in rich and diverse ways - seriously, I want to be each of them when I grow up

Teens do extremely cool magic stunts

Characters who you come to appreciate on a deeper level than arguably any other work

Number one source for opossum appreciation and memes

A magic system so good it doesn't even feel fair to call it a magic system; this is just what magic is to me now

Arguably the best introduction to that system and universe because it makes it playful and fun (and doesn't spoil anything from other stories in that universe)

So many different kinds of magic!

Robust enough to accommodate any fantasy/horror/urban fantasy plotline

So many well-classified types of guy. Like, you've been through a million groundhog day style loops? That's a type of guy

Feels like a courtroom drama half the time

Maybe the best take on the "is it bad for kids to be protagonists?" question ever

The coolest trans guy in the world

Gay shipping wars (takes a while to get there, but so worth it)

Will probably make you cry

There are podcasts! Pale Reflections, which comments on Pale, and Pale In Comparison, which compares Pale to Pact, the other big work set in this universe. Both are very good and will 100% enhance your understanding of the story's themes

Judicial extrajudicial judicial murder (Is it good? Bad? Discuss)

In a sense that is totally unfair to both parties but nonetheless feels inescapably true, the antagonist is Taylor from Worm

You know how the word "feline" refers to cats, and "canine" refers to dogs? There are a whole bunch more animal adjectives, and here are some of them:

equine -> horses

bovine -> cows

murine -> mice/rats

porcupine -> porcupines

wolverine -> wolves

marine -> marmosets

saline -> salmonella

cosine -> cosmonauts

citrine -> citrus

combine -> combs

famine -> your fam

bromine -> your bros

palpatine -> your pals

alpine -> alps

christine -> christ

asinine -> asses

machine -> the speed of sound

landmine -> explosions

migraine -> migrants

trampoline -> tramps

dopamine -> dopes

medicine -> the Medici family

praline -> prey

masculine -> mascara

feminine -> femurs

latrine -> latissimus dorsi

fettuccine -> fetuses

poutine -> sadness

turbine -> turbans

engine -> england

supine -> soup

valentine -> valence electrons

Follow for more nature facts!

You know what, despite the horrors, at least there's still butches.