07/10/18 - 25/100 Days Of Productivity

13/09/18 - 2/100 days of productivity

I make all my notes in advance of lessons (these chemistry notes are weeks if not months in advance) so lessons are revision sessions and I can just get on with practice questions. I can add to them in lessons if needs be :)

Elemental Tag!

Thank you @littledonkeystudies and @teaandanightowl for the tag! :)

Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicise your aspirations, then tag other people

air

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

fire

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

water

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

earth

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

aether

i go without makeup /  i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time (most of the time) / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

Tagging (for those that want to/haven’t done it already) : @problematicprocrastinator @waldenlustcafe @goodtea-studies

Aphantasia

Story time! I don’t have a mind’s eye. In fact, I think the notion of anyone having a mind’s eye is bizarre! I thought it was normal - until I realised it’s not. Not really. It’s kind of funny, then, that the only trophy I’ve ever been awarded was one for a piece of descriptive writing with no physical stimulus.

It’s not that I don’t have an imagination - I do - but the scenes unfolding in my head are behind a closed curtain, and I am the wrong side of it. There’s a bundle of energy in the back of my mind I can feel as pictures paint themselves... suggestions of movement in dynamic scenes, perhaps. Or maybe it’s the frustration that I. Can’t. See. Anything!

I sometimes wish someone would lift the veil; that they would let me imagine those sandy beaches everyone is supposed to envisage - let me find my “happy place”, which will forevermore be a black and lonely void.

But most of the time, I am glad I am blind to the canvas up there. It has made me sensitive to the nuances of language and I am always looking to appreciate every detail I lay my eyes on. Even if my mental arithmetic is shocking and I can’t describe my mother’s face, it’s part of me. And every time I place my eyes on someone, I get to appreciate anew all the things that make them beautiful.

If I want to remember something and be able to look back, I just have to take lots of pictures :)

We all forget things.

So today I was meant to give a presentation in front of my chemistry class, but I completely forgot and didn’t prepare anything. I was mortified when my name was called and I told her, “But I can’t - I’ve literally not prepared for this at all!” The room went silent and I felt so awful in that moment.

My chemistry teacher said, “I will see you outside.” And I thought I would get a bollocking. As soon as I got outside, I broke down crying, annoyed at myself because I never do things like that. I wanted to show her how on it I am and how well I can rise to challenges like public speaking, but instead I failed to follow a simple instruction and humiliated myself in front of the class.

So I went outside, ready to go on the defensive about why I should not be made to present. My teacher gave me the biggest hug and told me that I am only human - which is why she would let me do my presentation next week and just in front of her. She reminded me not to be so cruel and hard on myself, because I do that. I beat myself up over little things.

She told me that I have so much on my plate right now with university stuff as well as upcoming mocks that I should allow myself to be forgetful once in a while.

She told me that she is usually the most organised person ever but she forgets to bring stuff to the right lessons all the time.

She told me she doesn’t hate me, isn’t disappointed in me and all she wants is for me to stop stressing. And then she told me to go to the toilets and wash my face while she told the rest of the class not to talk about it.

My point is, it’s okay to skip a beat and forget something. It’s okay to admit you are only human.

And I am blessed to have a teacher who genuinely cares. How many people can say the same nowadays?

I hope your studies go well and have a great day! x

Thank you so much! I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know xx

(I am still alive folks - I’ve got my German speaking exam on Friday 17th May and I’ve just done my French oral, which went fantastically!)

5/3/19

Photosynthesis is so interesting! I still can’t believe that lowly plants and even cyanobacteria harness the energy of the humble electron to power this stuff. It’s so intricate

Edit: this app is called Notability for anyone wondering!

3-8/12/18 - 84-89/100 days of productivity

Omg life is so hectic right now - sorry for no posts for ages! So I have had my Cambridge interviews (I think they went... ok?) and am now revising for mocks beginning on Monday morning with German!

I’m at my friend’s house doing some Quizlets of new vocab :)

02/10/18 - 20 days of productivity

Pictured above are my biology class notes and then my written up, neat version I refer to when I revise. I like writing them up - it’s therapeutic and helps me remember them. However, I typed these up in my only free period only for my memory stick to decide to corrupt itself beyond repair for no reason at the end of the lesson, so I lost everything. I’m currently crying about that - even though I have hard copies of all my other notes, which is good. I didn’t lose too much!

Today I had a fairly alright day - but I completely forgot to do my French homework and cried a bit because that’s so unlike me. I had an excellent German lesson though, and I’m Chemistry I got to do separate things to everyone else because my teacher dreads me getting bored haha

I used to think scientists were mortal gods; that I should never be clever enough to be one of them. Even now I am astounded every day by the minds that solved some of nature’s most incredible problems. Maybe that’s why I took no interest in science until I was 14.

Or maybe it was because of all I have been told over the years. I was told I was hopeless with maths - my secondary school maths teacher admitted that I was only in the top set because my confidence was already on the floor and would not allow them to move me down.

I was told that if I needed to be medicated for depression and anxiety, I would have no hope in the “real world”.

I was told that given my socioeconomic status (my single-parent family is among the poorest 10% in the U.K. based on income) and postcode, all the predictions pointed to my failing school. I don’t suppose the truancy due to constant bullying helped my case. If I didn’t even have a desk to work at, how could I ever expect pass any of my exams? (Look carefully at the picture and you’ll see carpet. It’s 23:56 on a Sunday and I am reunited with the only study space I have in my family home - the top of the stairs!)

And yet here I am, despite all the odds. I did not fail in school: I was top in my year, twice. I am striving for a first in my chemistry degree at a Russell Group university. I taught myself an A level in maths and got a top grade. I am now so totally in love with my degree and with learning that it hurts.

I did all that from the top of the stairs.

[Sorry for the rambles, and I hope that the wall of text doesn’t look like bragging. It’s just that lately, I’ve been so overwhelmed with how far I have yet to go, and I’ve only just realised how far I’ve come.]

14/09/2018 - 3/100 days of productivity

No pictures today - sorry! I’m a bit rushed but I thought I’d update to prove I can finish what I started hehe

I spent an hour reviewing German vocab I learned last year in my last free period of the day, and I also got all my homework completed in time for the weekend. That included biology and chemistry. I got a lot out of my lessons today - I had my first lesson with a teacher I haven’t had since Year 9 (and I’m in Year 13 now!)

(I’m off to Nottingham tomorrow for a uni open day, so I can’t work)

I hope you’ve all had productive days!