17/09/18 I Have To Write A Surprise Essay On Wednesday So I’m Revising Quotes For Themes In L’étranger

25/9/19 Good morning

Induction day 2 :)

I love quiet mornings that just go your way. I also love staying dry... yesterday I got soaked to the extent of having actual puddles in my still-sodden boots and I sat through three hours of talks wet through and cold haha

01/02/2020 - 1/100 days of productivity

Happy February! New month, new me? I’m going to do the productivity challenge again.

My mum visited me at uni today so I spent the afternoon with her in Birmingham. I decided to condense 3 handouts from my lecture course on carbonyl chemistry onto one summary page this morning before I met her, and I finished it off after she left to get the train home.

I decided to write up the mechanism for Swern oxidation even though it’s beyond the scope of the first year course; it helps me remember the conditions if I actually know what each reagent does!

21-24/11/2018 - 73-76 days of productivity

Hi guys! So today I was at the library all morning having a biology brain dump/crisis because we have literally just been told we have mocks in a couple of weeks. My Cambridge interview is the week before.

So yeah, I’m a little stressed right now. Which is why I am writing a formal petition to put the mocks back - none of our teachers knew about them and we are all basically screwed. I’m going to see how many signatures I can get and do this democratically.

However, I do have an incentive to work hard:

I have an unconditional offer from my favourite uni (behind Cambridge)!

If I don’t get into Cambridge, I’ll definitely be accepting the offer from the University of Birmingham to read Chemistry with German. Of course, if it becomes my insurance choice, it will become conditional - but it’s okay, because the only way it’ll be second best is to Cambridge.

My acceptance letter came with a handwritten note from the admissions tutor congratulating me on my knowledge of everything that came up at interview, which instantly made me smile.

So I’m stressed, but I got this!

I am a Cambridge reject

Do you know what? I don’t even care. I did about 5 seconds ago, but it’s my birthday and I am in Berlin and this is nothing more than a minor setback. I’m going to have a good life wherever I go. I am going to firm my unconditional from Birmingham - at least the trains are nicer.

Congratulations to all who got in - I am so proud of you. And to those who didn’t - I’m proud of you too. We are just as good as those who got in x

To lost dreams...

From 5 years old, I was dead set on being a writer. I have always been interested in language and was rewarded with a great sense of satisfaction when the nuances of words resonated in my head. It didn’t matter to me that I have aphantasia because I didn’t know it existed. (It’s like a play in my head where the actors are playing behind a closed curtain - and I’m the wrong side of it.) All I knew is that each word was unique even in the face of its synonyms, and I felt those differences coursing through my very own neurones. I still do!

I was the child who, instead of going out to play, curled up in the corner and took herself to a world of her own invention through the means of the written word. I saw sheets of paper more than I saw the sun and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Who cares if I’d have to be the starving artist for a while? Who cares that I’d likely have been hit by more rejections than acceptances?

And then secondary school started. English became more about regurgitating someone else’s analyses in essays than being creative. People used to look at me as if to say, “A writer? What a waste of a brain.” My mind became aware of its blindness and I became severely depressed - and I stopped writing altogether. I am scared to admit that my mind fights to find words sometimes. I am even more afraid to admit that I have nothing about which to write at all anymore.

My five-year-old self would be so disappointed... she sacrificed her imagination - the greatest part of herself - to the hands of an education system that moulds us into depressed conformists.

Story time! I noticed that the really pretty enamel pins you can get are REALLY expensive so I decided to buy some shrinking plastic and make my own! These are my latest designs, and they’re my most ambitious ones yet. I hope I can pull them off!

Happy November!

It’s a beautiful time of year to recognise that you are a BOSS who is worthy of success x

26/7/19

After a much-needed month off, I decided to watch some chemistry lectures on YouTube to remind myself why I want to study this in the first place. I thought it would be a good idea to go right back to basics and give myself a rock-solid mathematical foundation to stand me in good stead for October.

If you’ve been following me for a while you might notice that this is not my beloved purple HP, but its sleeker, younger cousin - I retired that one and it is living out its last years with my mum. After 5 years of abuse, it deserves it!

15-16/11/18 - 67-68/100 days of productivity

What a week! I’m exhausted!

I’ve been mainly reading today, because I wanted to be productive but didn’t really have all that much to do - for once! I am going to have a day of maths on Sunday to make up for missing my mentoring session this week, but I’m still going to take it easy.

But right now I’m researching for my IRP in German, ft. the new book I ordered which got delivered today. So far, so very interesting! I can’t wait to reach a conclusion :)

Happy Friday, guys!

You are exceptional.

Thank you for existing.

I feel like so many people need to hear this because this message is getting lost in the noise of dismal politics and the aesthetics of everyone else’s lives.

P.S.

You do not need straight A’s to be exceptional.

You do not need to spend 24 hours a day making aesthetic notes to be exceptional.

You do not need to have your shit together all the time to be exceptional.

You do not have to be in an amazing mood 24/7 to be exceptional.