THE SCENARIO IF STANLEY DID HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK FORD FOR HELP THAT TIME BEFORE HE GOES TO GRAVITY

This is so dramatic of me but I hate hate hate the swear jar headcanon for Jason. Like holy shit sit down for two seconds and think of the implications of taking away money from a child that lived below the line of poverty for all their life and was homeless for three years if they do something you don't like. Are you insane

The cat stan au is the funniest "Ford and Stan fix their relationship on their late twenties/early thirties" au. Soley bc the author decided that they wouldn't go for Fiddauthor and also didnt not go for Fiddauthor. They made those men coparent a bug together. This is so much funnier than having them just kiss. One of them hates said bug for like a solid month while coparenting him. They aren't even tempted to hook up or date each other but they are parents with one of those men's wife, their roommate who's the others brothers ex, and a magical brother cat They collectively parent Shifty as a unit of five.

For a large chunk of time Fidds was convinced Shifty would eat them in their sleep one night! Imagine coparenting with your college roomate (whos married heterosexually) and he thinks your baby is evil and wants you for lunch! Imagine leaving your family for science with your bestie and said bestie accidentally makes you adopt a kid that you hate bc its a sin against god..

Tate and Shifty became twins with extra steps. Shifty is brothers with Tate and Tate now has new uncles that are sort of parents to his brother. The boys are bros but only really have two parents in common. Which almost sounds normal until you remember that one of them has five parents.

Carla is there sort of parenting Shifty at times but is mostly just a babysitter/roommate and Stan is feeding the bug dead birds. Stan watched his brother treat the alien bug child like a creature in absolute HORROR for at least a few weeks. Stan orchestrated a baby heist (mind you as a cat) bc Ford and Fidds were being bad parents.

This is so much funnier than just making Ford and Fidds have an affair they are instead doing something much more baffling. At least them cheating is simple this is instead a QPR with alot of convoluted steps. They didn't even know they were coparenting till like a month in either.

Oh cat stan au the fanfiction that you are.

Madeleine saw Claudia bag three bodies and called the U-Haul on eternity before she even figured out if her feelings were romantic, these lesbian vampires are INSANE and I LOVE THEM

The Aenead so far is a lot less of a shit show that the iliad. Tho only read book 1. Some notable things tho:

- Venus sprinkled her son is sexy dust

- Juno went to the winds like, yo I'll give u brood mare wife if u start a storm to kill those Trojans over there, winds went, bet.

- iulus seems to be between a year old and 13, we do not know, he says his first word after he has done archery and ridden a horse.

- oh and love is an infection.

Gay people wanted this (me)

Sometimes I get an idea but it's half baked and I don't even?? Know what to do with it???

So anyway- Stanley Pines in kids show, explaining science in a way anyone could understand. He doesn't show his face, maybe, but as he passes on tv (maybe Tate loves watching him so Fiddleford puts him on while they work) Stanford recognises his voice.

I want less aroace representation that’s like ‘uwu I don’t even know what kissing is bc I’m so innocent and pure’ and way more ‘yeah I grew up in a brothel and it isn’t for me but I LOVE AND SUPPORT my sex worker sisters and so WILL be teaching all the concubines how to do the nastiest, wildest sex to funnel money to my childhood brothel and also to advance my sociopolitical interests’. Or maybe I just need more Maomao period. All the Maomao.

I am begging the gravity falls fandom to realize that someone can be both fat and malnourished. I swear to god like two thirds of hurt/comfort fics that take place in the 80's describe mullet!stan as underweight, sometimes to the point where his ribs are visible and just. are we looking at the same guy????

bro spends all his time in his car and probably lives off gas station twinkies and slim jims. he's a chubby guy who's deficient in every vitamin

ok, because i just saw a terrible take, i feel compelled to say that there is no "fic market" to "oversaturate" in fandom. good gravy.

imagine being real rashid and you work for these weird gay vampires and one day they come to you like hey rashid we're gonna give you a little holiday! armand will take over your duties for the time being, for a cool disguise during my interview, not a kink thing :) and you're like okay these are my weird gay vampire bosses so it probably is a kink thing but who am i to judge. and then you find out they are roleplaying this weird exhibitionist slash master/servant scene with your own real actual government name. fuck interview with the vampire, interview with rashid WHEN??