I Have Such Frustrated Feelings About Why Women Kill.

Pretty self-explanatory

Jerk Ford AU: About

[Art by: @tearosepedall]

[Jerk Ford Not a jerk to his brother and only his brother The most hated Ford in the Multiverse]

[Doesn't need as much protecting Teen Jerk Ford: F#ck off Teen Stan: Ford! Don't do that!]

[Stan is a well liked guy Stan never ended up homeless, because Ford believed him]

Ford was the worst type of student because he's really good at everything that he does, just like any other version of himself. Like, the teachers were mad he was their best (academically speaking) student.

They'd prefer it if he was a delinquent who never did his homework and showed up late to class. But no, he not only did all of his assignments, but he also did extra credit that he didn't need, and showed up early to everything. Just like all of the other Fords.

He was the Chess, Spelling Bee, and Debate Team champion all four years he was in high school. He could have skipped several grades and only didn't because ya know, twin. And this continued while he was in college and got his 12 PHDs.

Stanley was his only supporter in all of that because everyone wanted him to fail. Some people (like their parents) even tried to pressure Stan into also hating his brother but one of the Universal Constants is that you can't make Stan hate his brother. People didn’t even bring up the fact that Stanley wasn’t the genius twin, people called him the ‘good twin’ because he wasn’t a jerk.

Stanley is just a regular guy in this AU. He was never a criminal or con artist. He went to Backupsmore University with Stanford and Fiddleford (Fiddleford would sometimes use Stan to pass messages along to Ford, because he did not want to talk to Ford if he didn't have to). He's a Chemistry Teacher who also helps out with Theatre.

[Bill: You tricked me!!! Jerk Ford: Skill Issue]

[Jerk Ford, to all other AU Fords: Wait! You all actually fell for that triangles flattery?! LOL]

He knew Bill Cipher was just f***ing with him with all of that talk of "I'm a muse" and "You're more special than everybody" (he already knew that he doesn't need a triangle to validate that). Ford just wanted to flip the script on him in the end in the most elaborate 1980s version of Jackass you've ever seen.

All of the other Fords hate him so much not just because he's a jerk (that's the majority of the reason though), but because of how weirdly competent and self-actualized he is comparatively speaking.

He didn't fall for Bill tricks. He's so sure of himself that he doesn't have the same hero (or villain, depending on the AU) complex. He doesn't want to take over the universe, or be the savior of it, or even be the one who kills Bill Cipher. He's just a jerk to everybody (except Stan) because he likes being a jerk.

Jerk Ford is one of the few Fords who maxed out his Charisma. He just uses that charisma to make people hate him instead of like him

Because charisma isn't just 'likability', it's your Presence and Force of Personality. His presence is so strong all he has to do is walk into a room, and you know he's an a**hole.

If you were to sum up what Jerk Ford is like around other Fords, it's like this:

"Every Stanford Pines in the multiverse reviles and despises that man."

Jerk Ford: You all want to be me so bad.

"NO WE DON'T YOU A**HOLE"

[Mabel: He's not actually THAT big of a jerk right?" Dipper: *wants to strangle him* Jerk Ford: Stanley who are these twerps?]

[Stan: Oh! They are family poindexter, Shermies grandkids! Jerk Ford: I see *doesn't care*]

If I were to give Jerk Ford a unique design to set him apart from Fords of other AUs, his turtleneck and muddied boots are swapped with these:

The hoodie is the usual red colour, the font is probably the same gold colour as his zodiac symbol. The puffed croc boots are also probably the same colour as canon Fords.

He doesn't have any embarrassing tattoos because the tattoo artists of Gravity Falls would never service Ford. Because he's not just banned from every establishment in Gravity Falls, but if he enters any business you are legally allowed to and encouraged to shoot him.

In fact Bill gave up possessing Ford to ruin his reputation with the townsfolk early on because nothing he did was worse than anything Ford did by himself.

You know how Ford drew himself coming out of the portal with aura in Journal Three?

Most of the other Fords try to look cool, and you just have this dude over here who doesn't give a s*** because he already believed his own hype. He doesn't feel the need to be ✨Extra✨ unless if he's being mean or generally unpleasant to somebody.

pay attention to him NOW

wowie what a nice kid. I hope nothing bad or especially traumatic happens to him

click for quality please 🙏

i’ve been working on this fpr way too long ! have it !!!

Rewatching the 1st hunger games film for the first time in a years r my thoughts chronologically:

- I forgot how amazing Jennifer Lawrence is as Katniss!

- Effie is even more oblivion to the tone of the hunger games than I remembered

- I forgot how iconic the volunteer scene is.

- Effie genuinely believes it's worth it for the kids to die if they get to experience a little Capitol opulence

- tHAt iS MAhOgaNy!!

- They captured the Capitol so well!

- I love Cinna, they captured him perfectly.

- Caeser Flickerman's commentary is a fabulous addition.

- Rue's introduction scene is perfect.

- when Katniss says "hey" in training centre, peeta's eyes light up

- the scene where haymitch is watching Capitol children pretend to be part of the Hunger games captures how desensitized they are really well.

- Seneca Crance doesn't fully understand the politics of why the games exist the way they do.

- Caeser Flickerman's song is such a banger!!!

- Peeta "She came here with me" Mellark

- Katniss looking at the bow at the cornucopia, Peeta: Katniss no!, Katniss: Katniss yes!!

- Haymitch seeing Katniss hurt so having to charm Capitol sponsors even tho he hates doing it. °○°

- Rue 💖❤💖

- Rue 😭😭😭😭

- I love that while Katniss is the Mockingjay, it's Rue's death & the unity between them that sparks the riot in District 11.

- Thresh saving Katniss for Rue 🥰

- Haymitch warning Katniss the Capitol isnt happy with how they won means so much more when u know cos of the way he won his family was killed.

- aww Peeta genuinely believes Katniss in the Caeser flickerman interview. Poor boy

- President Snow is piiisssed

- this credits song slaps

I am begging the gravity falls fandom to realize that someone can be both fat and malnourished. I swear to god like two thirds of hurt/comfort fics that take place in the 80's describe mullet!stan as underweight, sometimes to the point where his ribs are visible and just. are we looking at the same guy????

bro spends all his time in his car and probably lives off gas station twinkies and slim jims. he's a chubby guy who's deficient in every vitamin

stan’s the type of guy in a pokemon vers to be like ‘i don’t like pokemon. i only keep them around for free labor’ and then half of his pokemon are friendship evolutions. like okay sure. where’d that espeon come from then stan

he’d also have a mimikyu. because like, c’mon. they’re just like him fr fr. he calls it a creepy rag and says he’s going to throw it out one day but we can all see you letting it sit on your shoulder and eat off your plate stan you’re not slick

"team loustat" this "team loumand" that WHAT ABOUT TEAM FREE CLAUDIA FROM THOSE DERANGED GAY MEN??

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

please dont tag as stancest o: