Sugar Pussy Make It A Yeast Infection, Slurring Speech Call It A Beast Inflection, My Penis Hard Im Having

House would walk into Wilson's office, wordlessly stop and stare at the carpet until Wilson sighs and asks "Can I help you?"

House would look up and say "I love you, Wilson"

Wilson would just reply "not giving you the patient's file."

House would stumble closer and say "forget about the patient for a second-"

Wison: Okay this is definitely a ruse because you would NEVER say that

House: Wilson I LOVE you

Wilson: wh...what are you doing. Why are you..

Then they'd kiss. Wilson would be shocked until he closes his eyes. 3 seconds would pass before his face scrunches up and he pulls back and says "what- what did you put in my mouth!?"

Then his eyes would roll back and he'd collapse to the floor. House would step over his body, take the patients file, decide to take Wilson's coffee while he's at it, and leave

davekat davekat davekat

Now accepting commissions for spiteful fanfics!

Do you have a fandom you just HATE? Do you want to make your friends mad by making them read not-even-close-to-canon fanfics about their fandom? Introducing: Spiteful Fics. For the low low price of $10 USD, I will write a highly intense smutty/BDSM fic for a fandom of your choice, making it as not-canon and weird as possible. I will NOT write about minors tho <3

Need more convincing? Please feel free to read what started this idea: the worst Star Wars fanfic ever https://archiveofourown.org/works/62852209

I can't stand Star Wars, and so this fic was born, meant to make every Star Wars fan cringe. You too can feel the happiness I felt, with your very own spiteful fic.

got bored and drew myself (ft. my trollsona)

Save me God of War Ragnarok (Prints available here)

Dave: Ableist? You should able-dis dick

Dave: i’m about to therapiss my pants

Karkat and Kanaya: *awkward silence*

Rose: socrates more like suck my nuts

this is like the batfamily i think

"Where's the baby?"

"He's fine. He's with your brother."

"Fuck. Which brother?"

you ever watch something and just think... "god i cannot wait to get on ao3 after this"