Bam In Jackass The Movie, You Will Always Be Famous ♡

they don’t make ‘em like this anymore mane

HEY!! Can you do 63 with billy loomis

ABSOLUTELY I CAN!! & thank you for being my first request from my promts :) ily!

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒! 63.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! kissing, gets a little steamy? billy cheating on sid, what's new?

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! I went for like, a 7 minutes in heaven type thing? the prompt just gives me that kinda vibe. im on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, double periods intended. reader is wearing a sexy dress costume ? so kinda fem coded

billy x gn!reader

it was officially halloween

which meant lots of parties for you and your friends

you, tatum, and sidney were on your way to a costume party at stu's house

you were wearing a sexy killer costume, covered In corn syrup and red dye, with a 'bloody' fake knife impaling your stomach.

well, really it was just impaling your dress.. you had the knife attached to a strap underneath it that went around your waist.

after you got there, someone decided it would be a good idea to play seven minutes in heaven

it was you, sidney, billy, tatum, stu, and a couple others that you didnt know.

randy had run off somewhere with a girl, named jessica maybe?

or was it jennifer?

who knows.

anyways, you were in a circle with the others, an empty vodka bottle that you all had recently emptied sat in the middle

someone reached out to spin it

it was tatum spinning, she landed on some random guy you didnt know

stu shrugged, not caring who she went in with

a few minutes pass, and now it's your turn

so, you spun the bottle, and-

billy?

seriously?

whatever

you stood up, looking to sid, and she nodded at you in reassurance

were you really gonna do this? go into a dark closet with billy fucking loomis? the guy you've had a crush on since like, fifth grade?! oh my god, you're so screwed.

he stood up and walked over to you, grabbing your hand and leading you into the dark closet. after you closed the door, the only light that could be seen was light from the hallway, coming from under the door. you took a deep breath as billy stepped closer to you. there wasnt much space in the closet to begin with, so he was pressed up against you. you try to back up, but your butt hit the wall. you sighed, leaning your head back against the wall.

"you know, y/n, I've always had a thing for you". you looked back at him with wide eyes, expecting him to laugh at you and say it was a joke, but he didnt. he chuckled and placed his hand on your face, before leaning in and kissing you hungrily. you pulled away, still thinking he was joking. "y/n, I'm serious. I like you. a lot". you exhaled, leaning your head back once again. billy took his chance, attaching his lips to your neck, kissing gently but it was still enough to leave marks. you let out a breathy moan and taking his hand in yours.

he pulls away, leaving you with an empty feeling and bruises on your neck. he smirks at you before speaking. "jesus, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴."

sidney opened the door, interrupting you and you covered your neck with the sweater you were wearing.

she still saw, though.

she was pissed at you and billy, but you didnt care.

Do you write maddy perez x reader. Can you do from enemies to lovers with maddy where maddy was secretly in love with reader the whole time but she wanted to get reader's attention by being mean to her xoxo

oh absolutely. I love this idea sm

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! cussing, insults, reader slaps maddy, kissing, maddy calls reader a homophobic slur >:(, kinda angsty?

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, unedited, double periods intended

maddy perez x enemy!fem!reader

for as long as you could remember, you had hated maddy perez.

and as far as you knew, she hated you too.

every day, she would go out of her way to shut your locker as soon as you opened it, humiliate you in front of the whole school, and say horrible things to you. she would call you a slut, a whore, and.. a fag.

it hurt. a lot.

she made your life miserable.

and the truth is, you didnt really even hate her

since you first saw her in third grade, you've had a massive crush on the girl, even if you didnt notice it until the next year.

the thing is, she never noticed you.

until fifth grade, when your 'friend' told her that you said she was cute

she took about a day to think about it

and then she started insulting you, saying it was gross that you like girls

she was relentless

until one day when you two were arguing about how she treated you

you had enough. she told you,"you're fucking disgusting! I hope you, and all the other girls you've fucked, go to hell!"

so you slapped her, really fucking hard

you expected her to hit you back, but she didnt.

instead, you saw tears well up in her eyes as she held her cheek in amazement, and she turned around and walked away.

you thought it was weird, why was she acting like that when she was the one that said all those horrible things?

well you see, maddy never meant what she said about you.

in reality, she liked girls too, she just didnt know it yet.

she thought she was gross for thinking about you the way she did.

and when maddy went home that night, she went to her computer and opened google

yeah she definitely took an 'am I gay?' test

or like 17 of them

the results were.... well......

yeah she was gay

like really gay

like.. 'adopting a ton of cats and living in a cottage in the forest with her girlfriend' gay

so, naturally, she avoided everyone for like, three weeks.

but eventually she had to go back to school

and see you

when you saw maddy at school, your heart broke. she looked horrible, like she was two seconds away from dropping dead right in front of you. you didnt regret slapping her, but you couldn't stand seeing her like that so you walked to her locker and asked her if she was alright. she didnt answer you, but she did ask you something.

"do you really like me? like actually?". you were scared, was this just an evil ploy so she could humiliate you once again? you pushed aside your worried thoughts and nodded with your eyes glued to the ground. she let out a small 'wow' and stepped towards you. you looked up in fear, expecting her to hit you, yell at you, anything. but she didnt. instead, she smiled at you and you noticed her red face. she looked to the side and began speaking.

"I um, I'm really sorry.. the only reason I said those things is because.. well, I really like you, I guess. and, like, I guess I was just really jealous of all the other girls you've been with. I didnt even know I was... gay..". you stared at the side of her face with wide eyes, you couldn't believe what she was saying. "you're lying, maddy. I don't believe you." she looked at you and frowned, seeming to be thinking for a moment. she replaced her frown with a slight smile before placing her lips on yours, pulling you closer to her and kissing you gently.

it was hard for her to get used to dating you, a girl, and it was hard for you to get used to all the positive attention all the time

of course, some people weren't happy about your relationship (ahem ahem, nate.)

but you didnt care, maddy was finally yours.

May I request “218. I think I might be falling in love with you.” With Cassie Howard x reader please?

absolutely!!!!

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒! 218.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! kissing, pda, cussing, kinda angsty?

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, unedited, double periods intended. kinda really bad but shh we dont talk abt that

cassie howard x gn!reader

you and cassie didnt really talk to each other

you had run into her a couple times at school, bumped into her at a couple parties

but other than that, you never really talked to her

except for when you were younger

you and cassie were best friends, inseparable.

and you were in love with her

every second of every day, you were in love with cassie howard.

every hour, ever day, every week, and every month of every year.

until tenth grade.

cassie started hanging out with different people, started standing you up when she was supposed to come to your house after school

slowly but surely, she was leaving you.

you were never together in the first place, but you never thought she would leave you

but she did

you barely talked anymore, but you always made eye contact in the hallways

a feeling deep inside of you made you think she still cared for you, still wanted to be your friend

but she wasnt, so you wouldn't give her the time of day.

you started hanging out with a bad crowd, doing drugs and getting into trouble

cassie hated it but she thought she couldn't stop you, so she never tried.

one day, you sat next to her at a party and she started talking to you, trying to catch up with you

you had a feeling she was trying to make up for leaving you

you didnt care.

soon, she started talking about nate, how much she loved him, how much he loved her

only, you knew he didnt. you knew what real love felt like, and that wasnt real love that nate felt.

you hoped she wasn't actually in love with him

you wanted her to love 𝘺𝘰𝘶, not nate

it wasnt fair.

it wasnt fucking fair.

you didn't ever want to admit it, but you still loved the girl

and part of you wanted to tell her that.

but you never did.

instead, you got blackout drunk with her at every party over the course of four months, and that was enough.

but one night, at a pre-graduation party, when you both were very, very drunk, you and cassie had sex.

she didnt remember it.

or at least that's what you told yourself.. and what she told you..

the morning after, you woke up next to her in your underwear, and you somehow still remembered what happened.

so when she woke up, you asked her if anything happened the night before, as a way to see if she remembered it

she said she didnt think anything happened

you were upset, but didnt say anything. the more you thought about it, the more thankful you were that she forgot.

a couple days later, you finally graduated

but.. you didnt show up to graduation, you were getting high with your friends instead

cassie was worried, to say the least. really, really worried.

you see, over the four months before you two hooked up, you and cassie got close again, whether you liked it or not

you were hesitant, but cassie made you feel better about it, telling you that she wanted to go back to you every day that she wasnt around you

but she finally realized something, and she needed to tell you.

cassie tried looking for you after graduation. eventually, she ran into one of your friends at a liquor store. she asked where you were, they told her. when she saw you, she ran to you as fast as she could, because somewhere between looking for you at graduation and seeing you on the side of the road, high as a kite, she realized something. she felt differently about you. something was different. she knew you loved her, you told her at the end of ninth grade. she never told you, but that's the reason she left you. she couldn't be around you knowing she was hurting you by not loving you back. she hoped that leaving you would make you lose feelings, but she quickly realized it never did.

she ran up to you, embracing you in a tight hug. she never wanted to let you go, but you pushed her away. "fuck off, cassandra." shit, you were really mad, huh? you never called her cassandra, never in the 13 years you knew her. you met in pre-school, and you never once called her cassandra, not even when you were screaming at her about how much of a bitch she was. she sighed and backed away. "I know you're still in love with me, y/n."

it felt like your heart stopped beating, like the earth stopped moving all at once, like there was no more air left. she knew. your life was practically over. you looked at her with wide eyes, waiting for her to speak again. "and.. 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 too."

hey, just here to say. have a nice week =D

I LOVE YOU

I will ABSOLUTELY have a nice week thank you so much oh my days

Hey there! If your request are still open, can I ask something about König being married to a very caring and lovely civilian wife and having a one year's old little girl?

I love this big boy very much and I think he deserves having a family like this!

Thank you!

Ordinary Things Like Love

Lips against his, drowning in the trench of your spilling glory, swallowing your sounds and basking under the unfurling burn of desire.

König has fitted himself to you, curling over the bent of your back just as the black of the night weaves itself to the moon. Every night changing, every night willing.

or: König is a husband and a father.

an: i like this big boy with mommy issues, also their kid isn't one-year-old but everything else should follow the request!

i. König finds love in the shape of your hands, oozing with care and ready to cradle he who has done nothing but harm. Arms spread, prepared to catch him as he crashes back into the stratosphere of home with the trailblaze of war still shadowing his silhouette.

He finds love in your hands, the lined mosaic that time has made of your flesh. Fingers laced, your thumb brushing over the junction of his index and thumb as the warm light of morning washes its golden kiss across your skin.

Lips against his, drowning in the trench of your spilling glory, swallowing your sounds and basking under the unfurling burn of desire.

He has fitted himself to you, curling over the bent of your back just as the black of the night weaves itself to the moon. Every night changing, every night willing.

"G'morning, love," your voice cracks with a yawn, light against the expanse of your back. Your spine arches, dips like a flowing river in the garden of Eden.

Your eyes swim calmly, safe, content, and best of all, happy.

A hand reaches towards his chest, pressing it against where his heart hammers to the beat of yours. When you near him, he presses a kiss to your nose and revels in the laugh that it earns him.

Whispering, he mouths against the fragility of peace in your bedroom. "Sit up, sunflower. I have your breakfast."

—

ii. König finds traces of godhood in the mundane fancies that grace the four walls of home. In the coffee as he waits for it to cool, in the tender ache of his thighs from a night of loving, in the gentle roll of the creek— in the magic love has done to this wretched house.

These are the walls that birthed him, where his parents screamed till their throats bled hurt.

These are the floorboards that raised him, scarred brittle child bones, the very same that crumbled his boyhood and made it a story for the news.

The front page headline burnt in the back of his eyelids read: 29-year-old woman taken into custody for charges of abuse against 8-year-old son.

Now, mortality is not so much a sin as it is a fact of normalcy. He does not have to plead to every atom that composes the holy breath of god to help him when the door creaks open and his mother's footsteps sound from the entrance.

"Vati!" A voice calls, all young and warm. König looks over to see his daughter's mudded feet by the doorway, hair tousled, grin wide and spirit alive.

He feels a little guilty for the envy that aches in his chest but, most of all, he is relieved that he and his daughter do not have matching wounds.

The ones he bears are enough.

If he'd been crucified with his mother's rage to spare his own child the burden then it'd all been well and worth it.

(He'd do it all over again. A thousand times.)

"Look what I found, Vati! Look! Look!" She holds up a green cat eye marble, a speck of sun running across the jade sphere.

He covers a chuckle, pools of blue creasing as he rises from his seat with a quiet grunt. "I'll be right there, petal."

She frowns up at him, strands of hair the same shade as yours covering a portion of her soft face, a crease in her brow that König has half the thought to smooth a finger over. "Where's Mutter?"

"Mama is sleeping, darling."

"But Mama is always awake to cook me breakfast!" There's a pout in her voice, as if a fundamental part of life has been pulled from her feet without warning.

"Not when I'm home, petal." His answering smile makes the argument dwindle down, as if he's just instilled another law of physics as true as the sun rising with angel wings across the horizon.

"But I wanna show her what I found.." she mumbles as he lifts her up to sit on the wide planes of his shoulders.

"We'll show her later, darling," he says, thinking of your bare skin hidden under soft bed sheets. "Now, tell papa what you've been busying yourself with all morning."

—

iii. König finds peace at the sight of you peeling clementines, bathed in the warm slanted light of afternoon gold as it floods the house through the windows.

"Welcome back, you two." Your voice leads him like spring, pulling him in through the vines you've rooted in his heart.

Through the cracks of his ribs, flowers bloom. Rosemary, lavender, bluebells, sunflowers.

Your kisses ruin him, mortal hands coming to cup his cheeks, running your palms across his stubble to hold the curve of his jaw.

And then finally, finally, you kiss him. Molding your lips to rest against his, the taste of citrus on your tongue and the smell of clementine on your breath. His soul blooms, and König is half-convinced he had never truly lived before you.

That he had unknowingly been starving before you fed him with the ripe harvest of spring.

"Blegh!" Your daughter breaks the moment, hands slapped across her eyes and the two of you part brimming with laughter.

König thinks, holding his daughter and his wife, that this must be what love feels like.

Ordinary things that you long will never end.

—

iv. An unsent letter hidden under a drawer reads:

Hello, mother

You have not raised me with love.

But know that I have made something of your violence, of the boy you left at grandmother's doorstep.

You will not be invited to my wedding. But know that it'll be beautiful. It'll be beautiful because it is her who I will be waiting at the altar for.

It'll be beautiful because she is nothing like you.

Truly, your son.

Homecoming - König x Reader

Content - Short smut, fingering, orgasm, praise. Koing x reader, size kink. No meantion of y/n. Google translated german.

Summary - After coming back from being deployed on a mission, Koing has finally come home to you.

Minors DNI.

König entered the house silently, taking off his gear, hood and helmet. He looked down at you, he was used to coming home at odd hours after each mission. He enjoyed it actually, it gave him the rare opportunity to see you sleep and to wake you. He leaned over you, his breath against your neck causing you to stir from you sleep. You blinked lazily up at him and a small smile played across your lips, "König?" You whispered, a hand reaching up to touch him. He smiled, "I'm here schatz."

He grinned at you and kissed your hand, slowly trailing down your body and your back arched. You hummed sleepily as he moved the blanket off you, pushing up your night gown. "Mmm." He hummed, seeing the wet pool on your underwear. "So nass für mich," He whispered, god you loved it when he whispered german to you. He pulled your underwear down, taking in the scent of your soaked cunt. He hummed and pushed finger inside, "You take me so well schatz," He whispered, admiring how your cunt swallowed his large finger. You moaned, fingers gripping the bedsheets as he moved his finger in and out of you. "König." You moaned out.

"You're doing so well, taking it so well baby." He whispered, pushing in another finger as you gasped at the stretching sensation. He leaned up from your pussy and captured your lips, swallowing the moan you produced. König never had a hard time making you feel good, his pure size compared you was nothing to laugh at. König groaned into the kiss as your cunt clenched around him when he hit that spot. Your back arched off the bed and you broke the kiss, "God, yes König." You moaned out, hands grabbing at his back. Scratching his back as the coil wrapped itself tighter in your stomach. He groaned, his head between your neck and shoulder. A shudder ran through your body as the orgasm racked your body. "Yes, yes, yes!" You screamed, clawing at his back. He let you ride out your high. He watched you panted, falling onto your back while looking up at him expectantly.

"No, no schatz," He whispered, pushing a strand of hair back away from you sweat glistening face, "Later." You smiled at him, pulling him down onto the bed. Not asking any questions, just happy he's back.

should I start writing for him 😁🤨🤨🤨🤨

i’m so sad. i literally can’t find tim laflour fics anywhere. is there anyone willing to write for him or know anyone i can ask??

surfer stu surfer stu with the necklace… chaos I NEED THIS MAN SO BAD 😭😭😭😭

I THOUGHT I ANSWERED THIS EARLIER BUT APPARENTLY I TURNED MY PHONE OFF AND IT DELETED KMS

anyways

HE IS SO FINE IN THAT CLIP

I need him

I wanna fuck him so bad I'm not even gonna lie

With the school season closing in for me, I’m back to being tired all the time and incredibly angry. Why? Teenagers need nine hours of sleep. Most people need to wake up at 5:00-6:00 to get to school on time. Maybe that doesn’t sound too bad to you, but let me break it down a bit. 

School ends at 2:20. From personal experience, I’m going to say people take around 15-30 minutes to get home. The average teenager then spends 2.7-3.5 hours a day on homework. Also, there’s a “recommended” amount of homework, and for high schoolers it’s around 2 hours. Where am I going with this? Most people finish school and homework by around 6:00. 

Oh, that’s not that bad. Really? Remember how I said that we need 9 hours of sleep and that we need to get up at around 5:30 to get to school on time? In order to do that, one has to sleep at 8:30. 

8:30. And we finish school and the associated work by 6:00. That gives us 2 and a half hours of leisure time. Two and a half hours of leisure time. 

I also just want to say, this is a little off-the-top-of-my-head, so the numbers might be a tad arbitrary, but people also need time for dinner (20 min), bathing (10 min), grabbing a snack after school (5 min), and in my (and most Muslims’) case, time for four daily prayers (40 min total). For me, that takes another 1 hour and 15 minutes from my leisure time. For people that don’t pray, that still takes around 35 minutes total. Where does that put us? 1:15-1:55 hours of leisure time. 

The thing is, nobody actually sleeps at 8:30. Teenagers aren’t wired to sleep that early, because our brains don’t start producing melatonin until 11:00. That’s looking like only 5.5 hours of sleep, then, and only 5 hours of leisure time. I don’t want to research the effects of sleep deprivation a ton right now, but I think everyone knows that a lack of sleep is really bad for you. It’s especially bad for teens, since our brains aren’t fully developed. We’re more likely to be depressed, anxious, unmotivated, and unfocused because of it. And we still don’t have a decent work-sleep-play balance. 

 I just think it’s fucked up. There’s no way to win in this situation. I don’t really have a fun, strong, rally together conclusion. This whole thing is written badly, anyway, because I’m sleep deprived. But yeah. Fuck the school system. 

[Edit: This blew up a lot more than I expected it to. This was mostly a rant about my school in particular, but as people in the notes have said, extracurriculars and jobs make this worse. Some schools also end a lot later than my school. I don’t have any official evidence to back this up or anything, but I’m 90% sure that this is a lot worse for low-income families where people legitimately need to have jobs after school to make ends meet. Also, I have ADHD which means that for me, homework usually takes a lot longer than three hours. And my ADHD is medicated. Homework can take ages for unmedicated ADHD folks.]

Sources below the cut.

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