Why Hasn’t This Been Done Before?

The Train

The last train out of Newcastle was almost empty. It rattled across the large bridges over the black water of the Tyne, and for the most part was quiet, just one or two people per carriage, snoozing in their seats or tapping away on laptops, ignoring the ping of the intercom and the Geordie-accented voice announcing the stops.

The exception to this was the very last carriage, where a large family was making a lot of noise indeed. Dressed head to toe in green and draped in scarves and flags and badges with words like 'Harpies rangers!' and 'These witches have talons!', they stretched across two table seats and the aisles behind too, the tables themselves laden with drinks and tubs of food bought last minute from the M&S in the station.

'-And then I can't believe you just openly told me it's rude to stare!' Albus was bursting out furiously at his father. The rest of the family was roaring with laughter, and Al was occasionally laughing too, though his face was as red as his mother's hair.

'It is rude to stare!' Harry replied, holding out his hands helplessly.

'I wasn't staring!'

'You WERE!' several people shouted back at him, pink faced with laughter.

Scorpius adopted a vacant, dreamy sort of expression, staring into the middle distance. 'H...ello,' he croaked, which only made the rest of the family laugh even more. Teddy's stomach ached from it, and he could see Lily wiping tears from her eyes.

'I didn't say it like that!'

'You DID!'

'I said it normally! A normal hello!'

'You absolutely did not, and you stared for so long - I have never seen you look more like your mother,' said Harry. 'I was transported back to my first visit to the Burrow.'

'Oh!' said Ginny, with mock crossness, and she leaned over the table to place a protective hand on her son's shoulder. 'Ignore them, Al, they don't know what it's like to meet your heroes-'

Albus rested his forehead on the table, between the tub of flapjacks and bottles of butterbeer, his shoulders shaking in despairing laughter. 'Mum, it's your fault, springing that on me... Can't believe I just stared at him... Why didn't you warn me he was their coach?'

'I thought it would be a nice surprise!' said Ginny. 'I thought you'd always wanted to meet Gonçalo Flores!'

'He did,' said Scorpius, 'but I bet he always imagined he'd be very suave and witty, not just... "H...ello...", didn't you, Al?'

'I hate you all, I hate Quidditch, I hate Gonçalo Flores-'

'No, you don't.'

'No, I don't,' admitted Albus, still hilariously red in the face. 'He was so nice about it... just makes it worse...'

'Al,' said James above the family's laughter. He was grinning evilly. 'Is he on your list, Al?'

'Oh my God, shut up-'

'He is!' said James gleefully, as amused 'ooh's' filled the carriage and Scorpius nodded enthusiastically, looking positively elated. 'He is on your list!'

'You know, I was worried for about half a second when I saw him,' said Scorpius. 'But fair's fair, you gave it your best shot, Al, I'm happy for him to stay on the list.'

'What list?' asked Harry, frowning. 'I don't get it.'

'Oh, sweetheart, you're so innocent,' said Ginny sympathetically, leaning back to squeeze Harry's knee. 'You're probably on loads of lists.'

'What lists?' he asked, apparently entirely flummoxed. 'What for?'

'No one tell him,' said Teddy quickly. 'No one explain.'

'Is it a list of people to kill? If someone's on your list you want to kill them?'

'Oh my God, Dad, get more mind healing,' said Lily, which made Ted snort with laughter.

'Al definitely doesn't want to kill Gonçalo Flores...' said James, with a grin that looked eerily like Uncle George.

'Stop it; I don't want to discuss this with my parents-' hissed Al.

'Who else is on your list?' asked Ginny. She looked at Scorpius. 'Who else is on it?'

'Well...'

‘You know who’s on mine?’ said Rowan, who seemed drunker than Ted had ever seen him, ‘Cerys Twycross. That actress from that play we saw last year.’

Lily snorted. ‘In your dreams, love.’

‘Well, yes, precisely,’ said Rowan, which earned him a shriek of laughter from Ginny.

‘You know what,’ said Scorpius, with a brief smirk at Lily. ‘I could arrange that for you. I know a guy who knows her.’

‘Shut up!’ said Lily, sitting up so fast in her seat that the pack of crisps in her lap went flying. ‘You don’t, you’re winding me up, you’re as bad as James sometimes.’

‘Tell me more,’ said Rowan, leaning forward.

‘Yeah, good luck, Ro…’

'Hazel,' said Harry, leaning across the aisle.

'No,' she said at once, shaking her head frantically. The others laughed.

'What does it mean?' he asked. 'You'll tell me.'

'Don't tell him, Haze!'

'I - ask your son-' she babbled.

'Tell me, I'm your boss-'

'Not any more...'

'I'm good friends with your boss, come on-'

'Hazel, don-'

'It's a list of people you're allowed to sleep with,' she blurted out, and then her cheeks flushed pink too.

'Ahh,' said Harry, leaning back. He turned to Ginny with a grin that Teddy did not like at all. 'Like our agreement about Madeleine Marlborough?'

'I beg your pardon?' spluttered James, as Al and Lily both howled in revulsion and the others burst into renewed laughter.

'The Australian singer.'

'Yes, I know who she is, I wish I didn't.'

'Horrible,' Teddy said. 'She's my age. You're both horrible. Who - no I don't want to know.'

'It's not serious,' Harry assured them.

'Excuse me, speak for yourself,' said Ginny.

'Stop!' pleaded Albus, burying his face in his hands. 'The pair of you... I am about to leap off this train.'

'This is terrible,' James agreed. 'This is... deeply traumatising.'

'It's all right for you,' said Ted. 'You'll forget it in about five minutes.'

'Well, that's five minutes too long.'

'You all need to toughen up,' said Harry with a shrug. 'Scorpius, Rowan and Hazel don't mind.' Indeed, they were all spluttering with laughter, Hazel and Rowan exchanging shocked but amused glances.

'They're not related to you!'

'And anyway, sadly I can't imagine we'll ever meet her, our concert days are over and I don’t think we run in the same circles.'

'I think this whole experience demonstrates that just because someone is on your list, doesn't mean that you'll actually enjoy meeting them,' said Albus flatly.

'Oh, Ally, you poor thing, no wonder you were so star-struck,' said Ginny. 'You should have told me he was on your list-'

'GOD-!'

'Back in the day, when-'

'Yes - we know - you met Dad and you couldn't speak in front of him, but you were a little girl, I'm a fully grown man-'

'So's Gonçalo Flores,' said Scorpius, with an exaggerated wink.

Albus screamed into the tub of brownie bites.

The shrieks of laughter and jeers continued as the train snaked through the darkness, swaying slightly as it turned corners. Teddy liked travelling this way; they had known that several of them would be too drunk to apparate after the match, and the Knight Bus and Portkey points would likely be too full of journalists and people staring to be worth it. But Teddy liked the slowness of muggle transport, he liked the conversations that arose from lack of anything else to do, the way that they were cramped in together. He blew across the top of his butterbeer bottle to make the funny hooting noise before remembering his young daughters were not there with him, but at home with Vic, but Lily laughed and seemed to appreciate it anyway.

'If I get an emptier one,' she said, 'and someone else gets another - we should try and make the theme tune to the Bowmans.'

'Ooh, yes, let me help,' said Ginny, seizing a bottle. 'Hazel, you take this one - if we get good enough, we can save some money on the wedding band.'

'Did we book a band?' James blurted out suddenly, and he seized his notebook and began rifling through the pages. 'Did we-?'

'Yes,' said Hazel soothingly. 'It's all arranged.'

'Which one, I don't remember-'

'It's all right,' said Harry patiently, for James was starting to look a little frantic. 'No one expects you to remember everything involved in planning a wedding.'

'OK, I've found it - I wrote here that I booked them - but I don't remember doing it-'

Teddy exchanged a dark glance with Ginny, who picked up a tub of caramelized peanuts and shook them at James in offering. ‘That’s what you write things down for, isn’t it? Grab a handful of these before they’re all gone, I can’t stop picking at them.’

He must have known he was being distracted, for he gave her an irritable sort of look, but he did take a handful and returned to looking through his notebook in a much calmer sort of way.

‘Is your list in there?’ Ted asked, nodding at the full pages. ‘So you don’t forget?’

James’s brown eyes flicked up at him a narrowed slightly. ‘No,’ he said firmly.

‘You said that pretty quickly,’ said Al.

‘Almost too quickly.’

‘I don’t have a list,’ said James. ‘I’m not a pervert like the rest of you.’

‘Everyone’s got a list, Jim,’ said Scorpius. ‘Even if they don’t realise.’

‘Your father and I aren’t perverts!’ exclaimed Ginny.

‘You are, and I won’t hear any more about it-’

‘Hazel -’ began Harry, ‘obviously you both have lists, don’t you? I’m your boss-’

‘I am absolutely not talking to you about it,’ said Hazel.

There was a great, rhythmic ‘ooh’ from the amused family, and James grinned broadly at her, but Harry was also grinning, unfazed and unoffended. ‘So there is a list, then?’

There was another round of whooping, howling laughter, Rowan clapping his hands in delight. ‘He’s got you there!’

Hazel was laughing, her head in her hands, but James, still amused, was leaping to her defence. ‘Don’t twist her words - thank God you’re not an auror now, that wouldn’t hold up in court, would it? Don’t-’

‘He’s so defensive - I bet it’s because their lists are filthy!’ insisted Al.

‘Absolutely not, there’s no list!’

The train began to rattle and sway even more, slipping between towering concrete covered in graffiti. The tannoy chimed and the Geordie accent from before announced that they would soon be arriving into Kings Cross.

‘Excellent,’ said Harry happily, although Teddy felt oddly glum that their journey had come to an end.

They staggered off the train together into the almost empty station, still bedecked in green, still laughing and shouting loudly at one another, their voices echoing off the grubby white tiles. Harry, though Lily had not permitted him to drink much at all, threw open his arms and looked up at the great glass ceiling as he walked. ‘Isn’t it good to be back here, kids?’ he called loudly. Then he span and pointed at Teddy. ‘A few more years and you’ll be here every September again too!’

Ted grinned at him, though the prospect of Dora and Celeste starting school mildly terrified him. He kept walking, and as he reached Harry, his godfather slung his arm around his shoulders. ‘Watch out,’ he told Ted, ‘it goes by in a flash.’

‘Already is.’

‘Bring the girls next time, it was lovely having everyone together. They’d love it - you know it’s no problem getting tickets.’

‘I told you - it’s well past their bed time.’

‘Ah, who cares - the odd late night never hurt anyone.’

‘Easy to say when you don’t have to deal with them the next day!’ said Ted, laughing.

The ticket gates were wide open; the family walked through without reaching into their pockets for the little orange cards. ‘Right,’ Ginny was saying briskly, ‘who’s coming to Ron and Hermione’s with us? Al and Scorpius - are you still going with Ted to Grimmauld Place? Or - no, Lily, was that you two?’

But Lily was ignoring her, pulling urgently on Rowan’s hand and gesturing frantically at the others. ‘Hurry - the night tube isn’t running tonight!’

‘Ah, we’ll get a cab-’

‘Thank you,’ said Harry’s voice, much quieter now. Ted stopped watching the rest of the family chaotically argue over getting the tube or taxis, and looked at Harry. He was watching his son and Hazel; James was pointing at the barrier between platform’s nine and ten, recounting some story. ‘For joking about it all with him, for keeping it light.’

‘Of course,’ said Ted. ‘Wasn’t that what we all agreed?’

‘Yes, but I know it isn’t easy, but you always find the right words.’

‘Sort of my job,’ mumbled Ted awkwardly. ‘He seems to be doing so much better though, so it is getting easier, isn’t it?’

‘It is. It’ll be a good wedding.’

‘TED!’ Lily bellowed. ‘Come ON! We’re going back to yours!’

‘Chill out!’ he shouted back to her, and then looked once more at Harry with great exasperation. ‘What’s she like?’

Harry smiled, though it seemed slightly strained. ‘I mean it. Thank you.’

‘You don’t need to thank me for looking after my brother.’

Harry hugged him, one hand gripping at the silky Harpies flag draped round Ted’s shoulders, the other at the back of his head in his emerald green hair. ‘Good luck with writing the speech,’ he said. ‘Send my love to Vic and the girls.’

‘Will do. See you Sunday.’

They broke apart. ‘Jim! Hazel!’ Harry called across the wide expanse of the station. ‘Let’s go, if we’re too late back Hermione’ll tell us off.’

Beneath the great glass ceiling of Kings Cross, the family hugged, and made their hasty, happy farewells.

tell me the story of neville longbottom, the other boy who lived.

tell me the story of a boy who was born unimpressive, who could have been a chosen one had snape listened longer at the door. who had parents that loved and cherished him for far too short a time. who lost his mother and father to the cruelty of death eaters, who had to grow up with a family that always saw him as less than who he was, who he could be, because his magic remained hidden inside him, coiled like a snake.

tell me the story of a boy who could never quite handle school, who could never muster the courage to raise his hand in class, who always messed up his potions somehow. who sat in the gryffindor common room as hermione patiently went over her history of magic notes for him and wondered for the millionth time why he didn’t end up a hufflepuff. who never saw himself as anything special, not really, because there were other kids in his year whose stars burned brighter, while he struggled just to keep up with the bottom of the class.

tell me the story of a boy who stepped up, who foresaw hogwarts descending into darkness and refused to let it happen without a fight. who became the next leader of their secret fight against the dark lord, rebelling against snape and the carrows from within the castle. who led the surge to take the sword of gryffindor from snape’s office; who took blow after blow from torturing death eaters to try and protect the first-years who didn’t deserve any of this. who ended up hiding in the castle, creating a supply line to hogsmeade and continuing to fight under threat of expulsion (and worse) because someone had to do it.

tell me the story of the unchosen one, who went from a nervous little boy to the slayer of nagini in seven years. tell me about that neville longbottom.

Jace stepped forward first, in a gear jacket printed with golden runes, and held out a hand to Alec. “I stand as suggenes to Alexander Lightwood,” he said with pride. Magnus felt about Jace the way he had felt about many Shadowhunters over the years, Fairchilds and Herondales and Carstairs and others: fondness and faint exasperation. But in moments like this, when Jace’s love for Alec shone true and untrammeled, he felt only gratitude and affection. Alec took Jace’s hand and they began to walk the pathway of light. Magnus made to follow them, warlocks having no tradition of suggenes—a companion to the altar—but Catarina stepped forward, smiling, and took his arm. “I fought our mutual green frenemy for the privilege of escorting you,” she said, indicating a fulminating Ragnor with a tilt of her head. “Come on, now—you don’t think I’d let you approach the altar alone? What if you got cold feet and ran off?” Magnus chuckled as they passed by familiar faces: Maia and Bat, Lily wearing a tipsy crown of flowers, Helen and Aline whistling and clapping. Helen had a blue band around her wrist as well as gold runes on her clothes; so did Mark. “My feet have never been warmer,” Magnus said. “They’re positively toasty.” She smiled at him. “No doubts?” They had reached the end of the lighted path. Alec stood waiting, Jace beside him on the platform. Behind them was the ocean, stretching out silvery-blue as Magnus’s magic, all the way to the horizon. Their closest friends ringed the platform—Clary with her arms full of blue and yellow flowers, Isabelle carrying Max and sniffling back tears, Simon alight and smiling, Maryse with Rafe by her side: he looked solemn, as if aware of the significance of the occasion. Jia Penhallow stood where a priest would stand in a mundane ceremony, the Codex in her hand. They had all donned shawls or light jackets of silk, runed in gold; silk banners hung suspended in the sky, printed with runes of love and faith, commitment and family. Magnus glanced down at Catarina. “No doubts,” he said. She squeezed his hand and went to stand beside Jia. There was a second ring around the platform: The Blackthorns and their friends were all there, clustered in close. Julian smiled his slow quiet smile at Magnus; Emma glowed with happiness as Magnus crossed the wooden platform and took his place opposite Alec. Alec held his hands out, and Magnus took them. He looked into Alec’s blue eyes, the precise color of his own magic, and felt a great calm descend over him, a peace beyond all other peace he had ever known. No doubts. Magnus didn’t need to search his soul. He’d searched it a thousand times, ten thousand, in the years he’d known Alec. Not because he doubted, but because it shocked him so much that he didn’t. In all his life, he had never known such surety. He had lived happily and had no regrets, he had made poetry out of wondering and wandering, had lived untethered and gloried in freedom. Then Magnus had met Alec. He had felt drawn to him in a way he couldn’t have explained or anticipated: He had wanted to see Alec smile, to see him be happy. He had watched Alec turn from a shy boy with secrets to a proud man who faced the world openly and unafraid. Alec had given him the gift of faith, a faith that Magnus was strong enough to make not just Alec happy, but a whole family happy. And in their happiness, Magnus had felt himself not just free, but surrounded by an unimaginable glory. Some might have called it the presence of God. Magnus just thought of it as Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

Queen of Air and Darkness - Magnus and Alec’s wedding scene 1 (via magnusbane-aleclightwood)

Don’t sleep on Charlotte Branwell

This woman. This fucking woman. She was the head of one of the most important institutes. At the age of 18. In 1878. She dealt with the sexism that came from the men in the Clave and sometimes even from women who should have backed her up. She dealt with the shitty way Will treated her, but she never gave up her hope for him because she knew deep inside that he was a good person. She dealt with the knowledge that Jem, a boy she loved like a brother, was going to die soon and there was nothing she could do about it. She dealt with Jessamine’s crap and she still always tried her best to make her happy. She dealt with Tessa who did not even know what she was, Charlotte always tried to help her and keep her safe despite the fact that she was only a stranger. She dealt with thought that her husband, the man she loved, did not love her back for five years. All while running the London Institute and being only 23 years old, but she never let that discourage her. Seriously, there is no way in hell a normal 23 year old woman would be able to do this (no offense to the normal 23 year old women reading this).

She was never scared to be the head of the London Institute, despite the fact that that was the most likely place Mortmain would attack because Tessa was there. She didn’t even for a second think of kicking Tessa out in order to secure her safety. She was such a beautiful human being. She sealed with Jessamine’s betrayal like a queen, and then she FORGIVED her, and let her come back into the Institute because she knew Jessamine had nowhere to go. Her love for her husband never wavered when he lost his ability to walk, she never let the comments people made about him change her feelings for him. She is super wise??? She is so wise that Gabriel ( who used to hate her) wanted her approval and wanted her to be proud of him! She fought in an extremely dangerous battle while being pregnant???SHE WAS THE FIRST WOMAN CONSUL!!! And her accomplishments don’t stop there. She raised another wonderful human being! Why does nobody give Charlotte any credit for Matthew Fairchild??? He wouldn’t be the person he is if he had had another mother!!! And still there are people who have the audacity to disrespect her! They make rumors about her not being faithful to her husband!

Just how ignored Charlotte is is insane. Many people don’t realize that strong women like her in YA are super rare. Most strong women in YA are viewed as extremely beautiful, are always surrounded by a ton of men who love them, they are usually heartless, and would kill you for looking at them the wrong way. Guess what? Charlotte is not like that at all that. She is such a brave, caring, and strong human being who deserves more respect and love, she is the type of person I can only dream of being one day, she is a role model. She is one of the most badass women in TSC, so please stop sleeping on her.

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

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Hunger Games Relevance

(Please read/boost if you’ve ever read/watched the hunger games or you care about what’s going on)

I don’t know if other people feel the same way but especially with the new hunger games film coming out I’ve been absolutely floored by some of the parallels between the world in the series and the current conflict in Palestine.

Firstly, Suzanne Collins did say that she partially got the idea from flicking between channels showing reality TV interspersed with footage from the Iraq war so I guess there’s a good reason for me to be seeing similarities now.

But the fact it’s being live-streamed - the carnage - the propaganda - the fact that lots of us have been following the same few (often very young) journalists who have become the ‘face’ of Palestinian resistance (because right now journalism IS resistance being actively targeted by Israel) - it’s all crazy familiar.

I saw a clip of Israeli’s sitting on a hill watching and laughing at the bombs dropping on Gaza today as though they were fireworks just minutes before Israel bombed the 3rd floor of a paediatric hospital. The same ‘Sderot Cinema’ where Israeli’s bought deck chairs and snacks to ‘watch the spectacle’ of the 2014 bombing campaign on Gaza.

The way not everyone in the capitol was evil or bad and some people actively supported the districts but realistically they were still complicit in the exploitation - even if just through ignorance.

The incredible amount of children dying - the bombing of hospitals and withholding of resources (like in District 8 in Mockingjay), the taking of people not involved in Hamas into administrative detention (hundreds arrested in the West Bank - like how the victors were taken in Catching Fire even the ones who weren’t involved in the rebellion), the collective punishment of Gaza (the firebombing of District 12).

The way Israel dropped pamphlets from the sky to tell Gazans to evacuate south and then bombed the route (literally straight out of the games I swear - the video of the pamphlets falling was like the scene with the parachutes in Mockingjay which represent hope and then detonate).

It’s so eerily similar and I just wonder how so many watched those films and read those books and are silent now - why could they identify resistance and oppression and desperation and exploitation in fiction and not reality?

And I wonder if maybe it’s because we have to remind ourselves that we aren’t Katniss in this situation - we aren’t the heroes - we are the Capitol and District citizens watching it all happen on our screens - and that’s an unfortunate and uncomfortable concept to grapple with.

Teddy Lupin’s 17th birthday.

I think this might be too fluffy to publish on ff.net/ao3, but I know you guys appreciate sickening fluff. A Harry and Teddy godfather/godson fluff piece, mild warnings for alcohol use.

The laughter was loud, the wine was being poured, Ron and George were digging around in the pantry for the beer they were sure was stashed away somewhere. There was a rumbling upstairs from the kids racing around, and a shrieking - a loud thunk made Harry and a handful of the other parents look up at the ceiling, but when they only heard an irritated ‘Owww!’ rather than anything that sounded like a serious injury, they went back to laughing over Angelina’s anecdote.

Molly and Audrey busied themselves with the food, a stunning display of salads and charcuterie boards, crusty bread and bowls of olive oil and balsamic, several rotisserie chickens and plates of neatly arranged seafood Ron had already loudly insisted he wouldn’t touch. Hermione was enchanting streamers and bunting of every colour to drape themselves elegantly around the room, and Angelina, pins in her mouth, was putting up the happy birthday banner.

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Bro, it's like 4PM in São Paulo right now and all the smoke made it look like it's already night...city of ashes indeed.

Strike for the climate!

It’s time to strike for the climate. From September 20-27th, there will be strikes around the world for climate action.

To support them, we’ve launched a Digital Climate Strike to get some of the biggest websites on the Internet to raise visibility.

Add the strike to your Tumblr to spread the word! See the instructions here.

Ready to strike? Click here to find a strike near you.

I wish I knew more about this story, but this should be 100% standard procedure in every bar or club.