Imagine If The Oceans Were Replaced By Forests And If You Went Into The Forest The Trees Would Get Taller

(unmute)

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

Milo is brutal and super smart.

[Transcript:

Bill (Professional Henchman), wearing a black medical face mask, standing guard against a door: *to himself* "God I hate morning patrols. At least when I'm not on night patrol I'm not getting hit by Batman....Although I do have to wake up early so I might actually prefer getting hit by Batman."

Random Henchman (face exposed): *comes down the stairs* "Hey, man, Boss just called and said I'm gonna be guarding the door with you tonight."

Bill: "Sounds good. Whoa hey- where...where's your mask, man?"

Random Henchman: "Ex..excuse me?"

Bill: "Last time I checked we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic, man. There's a mask mandate. Where's your fuckin' mask?"

RH: "Are you kidding?? Who fucking cares if there's a mask mandate, man. We're villains! We're henchmen, we're evil - we break the law all the time! It's literally our job!

Bill: "We're villains and we break the law, but we're not fuckin stupid. We still listen to science."

RH: "Maybe you do."

Bill: "What the actual fuck are you talk- we're working for a super scientist right now! That is Mr. Freeze in there!"

RH: "Don't be so fuckin' paranoid."

Bill: *closes eyes* "Tell me that a henchman in Gotham City did not just tell me to not be paranoid!!"

RH: "Fuckin' whatever. Still not wearing a mask, dude."

Bill: "Yes, the fuck you are! Or Imma report your ass to the Goonion!"

RH: "Fucking come on! Seriously, dude?"

Bill: "Absolutely! I am more concerned about my and everyone else's safety than your fuckin' friendship. Go put on a mask or you're getting reported, asshole."

RH: *glare*

Bill: *pointed look*

RH: "Fine. Fuck." *turns around* "God, you're a prick."

Bill: *calls after him sarcastically* "I'm sorry for caring about the people around me, you fucking heartless asshole!"

Bill: *mutters indistinctly to himself* "...don't even like wearing these things...get this shit over with..."

*waits*

Bill: *muttering again* "...fuckin' vaccinated, Jesus...for christ's sake..."

...

Bill: "...he go buy one from the 7/11? Where the fuck is he?"

RH: *coming back down* "I got a mask you fuckin' asshole."

Bill: "It's about fuckin ti...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"

RH: *wearing a Cobra Commander full face helmet* "What? You said a mask! This is a mask!"

Bill: "You know good and goddamn well I meant a face mask!"

RH: "Sor-ry, but I don't carry medical grade face masks everywhere that I go!"

Bill: "Yeah, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable than having a- why do you have that?"

RH: "I'm a hench for hire okay? The Goonion sends me wherever I need to go and the last place I went was goddamn Cobra headquarters in Springfield!"

Bill: "That's from a another villain's henchman? That's even more reason you can't fucking wear it!"

RH: "D'you want me to wear a fucking mask or not??"

Bill: "I will just loan you a mask! Just take the helmet off!"

RH: "You mean you made me go through all this and you could have just loaned me a mask this entire fuckin time?"

Bill: "You're on year two of this motherfucker! Everyone has a mask! I did not think I was going to need to get you one or you were going to wear a fucking Cobra helmet! Take it off!"

RH: "Fine! Fuck. Goddamn it." *moves to take it off*

Bill: *mutters in disbelief* "Un-fucking-believable."

RH: *struggles with helmet, grunting*

Bill: *eyeroll* "What fuckin' now?"

RH: *muffled* "It's stuck."

Bill: "What."

RH: *frustrated groan* "It's fucking stuck, okay?"

Bill: *shakes head in disbelief* "How did you make it out of training?"

RH: *more frustrated groaning* "Are you gonna fucking help or not?"

Bill: "Fuck. Here." *pulls down helmet and feels around it* "There's a latch in the back."

RH: *grunt of approval* "There you go. Think you got it."

Bill: *stands back* "Alright. There. Jeez-"

RH: *pulls off helmet to reveal Red Hood helmet underneath* "Awesome. Thank you."

Bill: "Fuck!!!" *stumbles back and runs*

Red Hood: *to himself* "Nice to know they're at least staying safe. Welp." *cocks gun* "Time to fix that."]

I love this post

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

Every Species of Kitten

To celebrate the USA’s win–and it is a win, in spite of all the very real concerns–I thought I’d make another cat post, because they make people happy and it’s a happy day! Going to try to find three images per species, but some are pretty hard to find as many of these cats are rare and/or elusive!

First off, the subfamily of roaring kittens! Pantherinae:

Clouded leopard (Neofelis nebulosa):

Sunda clouded leopard (Neofelis diardi), not common:

Leopard (Panthera pardus):

Tiger (Panthera tigris):

Snow leopard (Panthera uncia):

Lion (Panthera leo):

Jaguar (Panthera onca):

Second and final (and much bigger) extant subfamily in Felidae, which is the purring kittens! Felinae:

Marbled cat (Pardofelis marmorata) does not want you to see its babies!:

Asian golden cat (Catopuma temminckii):

Bay cat (Catopuma badia), babies are elusive to say the least:

Serval (Leptailurus serval):

Caracal (Caracal caracal):

African golden cat (Caracal aurata), this is literally all I could find in the way of kittens:

Pampas cat (Leopardus colocola):

Andean mountain cat (Leopardus jacobita), very elusive baby:

Ocelot (Leopardus pardalis):

Margay (Leopardus wiedii):

Kodkod (Leopardus guigna), when the adult already looks like a kitten, the kitten looks…exactly the same as the adult, just smaller:

Geoffroy’s cat (Leopardus geoffroyi):

Oncilla (Leopardus tigrinus):

Souther tiger cat (Leopardus guttulus):

Bobcat (Lynx rufus):

Canada lynx (Lynx canadensis):

Eurasian lynx (Lynx lynx):

Iberian lynx (Lynx pardinus):

Cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus):

Cougar (Puma concolor):

Jaguarundi (Herpailurus yaguaroundi):

Pallas cat (Otocolobus manul):

Rusty-spotted cat (Prionailurus rubiginosus):

Leopard cat (Prionailurus bengalensis):

Fishing cat (Prionailurus viverrinus):

Flat-headed cat (Prionailurus planiceps), couldn’t even find any photos, had to screenshot a video:

Sunda leopard cat (Prionailurus javanensis), another not easy to find kitten!:

Jungle cat (Felis chaus):

Black-footed cat (Felis nigripes), just remember this species has one of the highest kill rates of any cat:

Sand cat (Felis margarita):

Chinese mountain cat (Felis bieti):

European wildcat (Felis sylvestris):

African wildcat (Felis lybica):

and finally, Domestic cat (Felis catus)!:

Remember, there is only one species of kitten on this list that belongs as a pet, and that is our beautiful domestic cat. Some of the wild species are endangered, and as precious as all these babies, the wild ones are best left to the wild. :)

now all I need is to have a large library in an old house, which is located on the outskirts of a small town, with a lot of magic books that can help make a potion for a variety of purposes, cure a person or predict the future