-”Now I’ll take attendance in the order in which I don’t like you”
-Made us say ‘may I use the potty?’ in a British accent when we need to use the washroom
-”Good morning, how’s my favourite class doing-they just left you would’ve passed them in the hallway”
-Had names for all of the variables: a is for apple pie, b is for brownie, c is for cookie, and D IS FOR DOUGHNUT
-”This is beautiful. Just like if you were in front of a mirror-with me standing in front of you”
-He spent like 10 minutes making sure we understood the difference between cannoli and cannelloni
- “You should join the geek protection squad, we would beat up kids like you”
-On the first day of class he drew an x in the corner of the whiteboard with a box around it and it???? somehow stayed there???? all year?????
-”you should all take French just in case you meet a pretty French lady on a plane like I did”
-We had this closet in the corner of the room, and then it just became a thing to talk about the body in the closet (especially when people not in the class would come in)
-Answered the phone in one of two ways “greetings human” or “Pizza Pizza”
-While we’re talking about phones if someone was being looked for he’d tell them that they were out in the smoking area handing out anti-smoking pamphlets
-”You guys are so loud! People would think you’re Italian or something”
-Once turned the lights on using ‘the force’, a.k.a a lightsaber he kept on his desk, and a student standing under the light switch
-”BIG LIKE HOUSE”
-He told us this story about how a few years ago if a kid was particularly annoying/disruptive he’d send them to a certain teacher to ask for a ‘long stand’ that teacher would take a loooong time looking for this item before sending the kid along to the next teacher (I think there were 4?) anyway, once the kid would get back and be like ‘there is no long stand’ he’d say ‘well weren’t you standing for a long time?’
-There was a girl who had a broken arm, who got moved out of the class when her schedule got rearranged. During attendance he’d call ‘broken arm girl’ first, and she would come into the room before we got there to write stuff like ‘broken arm girl was here’ on the board
-The day before christmas break we just talked about star wars the whole class
-called us all sunshine and when one girl asked why he called her stormy clouds for the rest of the year
-If someone came to borrow something, before he’d give it to them he’d ask if they would like to know where they could get one, and then the whole class would all be like ‘staples’ ‘best buy’ ‘dollar store’ etc
Literally do your work as soon as you know it exists. If you get homework, do it during your free or when you get home or on the train if you really want to, on the day you get it. Just got set an assignment? Get the draft done that weekend. It doesn’t have to be amazing and absolutely ready to send in, it just needs to exist. Just got sent an email? Reply when you see it. If you’re not sure how to response to it, write Dear (), leave a gap and then write Regards () and keep that in your drafts. Set a reminder on your computer or write the reminder on a sticky note that you’ve got that sitting in your drafts and you need to send it off in the next 24 hours. Need to clean your room? Don’t spend time thinking or planning how you’re going to clean it or how you’re going to change up the space in the process, just pick stuff up and put it where it should be until everything’s in order. Done. Seriously dude, when a task arises as an issue, tackle it as soon as you realise it exists. Remember, it doesn’t need to be amazing it just needs to be done. So, when the due date of the task creeps closer, you can go back, work with what you have and make it the quality you want it to be.
When you start dating somebody and they make a post sayin “Physical attractiveness is not important to me. Its whats inside that counts “
articles and essays I keep coming back to:
“joy” by zadie smith (about, well, joy)
“roaming the greenwood” by colm tóibín (ostensibly a book review of the history of gay literature but actually just very incisive thoughts on…the history of gay literature)
“the murder of leo tolstoy” by elif batuman (about exactly what it says in the title)
“the love that dare not squeak its name” by david rakoff (about, i swear to god, stuart little)
“a room of one’s own” by virginia woolf (I mean, you know)
the entire lingua franca archive but in particular “bio hazard” by fred kaplan (about writing a biography of gore vidal) and “the stand” by daniel mendelsohn (about the role of a philosopher (martha nussbaum love of my life) in a colorado gay rights case in the 90s)
“the professor of parody” by martha nussbaum (about judith butler)
your anti tony ass can fuck right off, because out of 14,000,605 possibilities the only one where they win is the one where tony stark lives
Don’t lie to them. If y'all are in love, tell them what’s bothering you. They care. It’s okay to be vulnerable with them. Don’t tell them “yes, I’m okay” and you’re not, because then you’ll be mad at them for not understanding your hurt when YOU HAVEN’T EVEN EXPLAINED IT to them. People can’t read minds. Give them the chance to listen, give them the chance to understand. Let them love you, communication is key.