Trouble
Trouble
He’d wanted the persimmons and asked her for them, but when she gave him the brown paper bag, brimming over, he was taken aback. Did he really need that many ? Still, he brought them home to his wife, and soon there were persimmons ripening on the kitchen counters, lining the windowsills. Each day, growing more and more succulent until the air was thick and sweet with their scent. At breakfast, he’d break one open with his spoon—the skin supple and ready to give—stir it into his hot cereal. Indescribable, the taste. And a texture he might have described as sea creature meets manna from heaven. When he ate one, he thought of her. And when he saw her, he thought of the persimmons. When her arm brushed, just barely, against his, did he imagine they both felt the same quickening? In myth, fruit is usually the beginning of disaster. And the way they made themselves so obvious— an almost audible orange against the white walls— made him wish he’d never asked her for them, didn’t have to smell them sugaring the air with ruin, as he sat there, face lowered to the bowl, spooning the soft pulp into his mouth.
Bonfire Opera : Poems. -- Danusha Laméris.
More Posts from Catalystcorvid and Others
Do you have the Libby library app?
If not, download it to your phone, and under "Add library card" select the button to search for a library and start typing in "queer"...
Sign up with an email, no actual address required, and you are good to go 🏳️🌈
i may not have the magic words to fully express how i feel, but the world is better with trans women in it. my life is better with trans women in it. you are a warm light in the dark and your existence brings me and many others joy. you are my sisters and my dear friends. i love you and i'm glad you're here.
graves grow no green that you can use.
gwendolyn brooks
The Orange
At lunchtime I bought a huge orange— The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half. And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new. The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I’m glad I exist.
The Orange and other poems - Wendy Cope
Failing and Flying
Jack Gilbert. Refusing Heaven, 2005.
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew. It’s the same when love comes to an end, or the marriage fails and people say they knew it was a mistake, that everybody said it would never work. That she was old enough to know better. But anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean on the other side of the island while love was fading out of her, the stars burning so extravagantly those nights that anyone could tell you they would never last.
Every morning she was asleep in my bed like a visitation, the gentleness in her like antelope standing in the dawn mist.
Each afternoon I watched her coming back through the hot stony field after swimming, the sea light behind her and the huge sky on the other side of that. Listened to her while we ate lunch. How can they say the marriage failed? Like the people who came back from Provence (when it was Provence) and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.
I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell, but just coming to the end of his triumph.
Rain by Raymond Carver
Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read. Fought against it for a minute. Then looked out the window at the rain. And gave over. Put myself entirely in the keep of this rainy morning. Would I live my life over again? Make the same unforgiveable mistakes? Yes, given half a chance. Yes.
Where to Find Free, Legal Books
If you have access to a public library and/or have college credentials;
Libby - Ebooks, digital audiobooks, and magazines from your public library. Free, but requires a library card. Materials aren't infinite, so popular titles will often have a several week long waitlist. If you're in the US (or sufficiently crafty) you can sign up for a free card from the Queer Liberation Library.
Hoopla - Another service often bundled with a library card. The selection is smaller than Libby, but you have a limited number of instant borrows per month to cash in.
EBSCOhost Research - Ebooks and research materials, usually offered through a college. Where I do most of my reading lately, TBH.
Worldcat - Browse the world’s libraries from one search box. Easiest way to find out where to go to check out a book if you can't find it at your usual spot.
US residents will likely have a public library near them, but if you cannot go in person and sign up, there are a number of public libraries that don't require anything but a local address to get an Ecard. The libraries that offer this change frequently, so ask around.
Also keep in mind that US public libraries don't typically purchase self published material. If you're looking for your favorite tumblr author's book, you might want to try the links below instead.
If you can't get a library card (or couldn't find what you're looking for)
Open Library - Large collection of ebooks. Some materials may not be available currently due to ongoing legal issues.
Project Gutenburg - Another huge collection of ebooks, probably the most well-known option on this list.
Standard Ebooks - Professionally formatted public domain ebooks (sourced from places like Project Gutenburg but then turned into dynamic epubs)
LibriVox - Public Domain Audiobooks. Extremely limited library, but provides a rare service.
Audible Free Trial - Amazon offers a free trial of their service, with one free title on signup. You need a viable payment method to get access, but you keep the book even after you cancel. Don't give Amazon your money, folks.
I'd also recommend trawling youtube and soundcloud for user-made audiobooks. The quality varies, but I've been surprised at the results.
Other cool resources
StoryGraph - A non-Amazon GoodReads alternative, for those who like to challenge themselves to read more or enjoy writing book reviews.
Banned books list - Around since 1994 and currently still updated weekly, this site showcases books that are either banned or have been attempted to have been banned somewhere in the US. Some are available to read for free on site.
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Hi I'm Crow, a 20-something hobbyist writer with a renewed love of reading. I post writing snippets, poetry & quotes from books that I like, as well as useful resources I find around the net. Accessibility and accurate sourcing are a priority. If you see me online, do me a favor and tell me to log off and go work on my novel. Icon by Ghostssmoke.
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