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My life is annoying

So lately I've been trying to figure myself out, in all ways.

The summer holidays have just started, and when I go back to school the exams are gonna hit. Hard.

I haven't studied much over the last year but I'm not falling behind in my subjects or anything. As soon as we get back from holidays, college applications start, and I need to decide which three subjects I want to do. I'm thinking of criminology, maths, and graphics, because crime is cool, maths is good for uni (and just life in general) and graphics involves a lot of art concept and drawing tablet work, which I'm super psyched about.

I've also been trying to come to terms with my sexuality. My 16th birthday is a nosehair away and, I've known since I was 9 that I'm not exactly straight.

This girl asked me out when I was 9 and I said yes. Everyone else called us lesbos but we didn't care. We held hands, hugged, and occasionally kissed (the way 9 year olds do).

The thing is that I was living with one of my sisters at the time, and I was homesick. Homesick because I missed the place that I was born in, with my parents. My parents couldn't look after me at the time so I went to live with my sister. My behaviour wasn't that great so after 2 years I moved back to my dad's.

Without telling my friends goodbye, or my girlfriend for that matter.

Since then I've known I was somewhat gay, and for the last two years I've been trying to figure out whether I'm bisexual, pansexual, or lesbian.

I don't look at boys the way I look at girls.

I look at males and think 'eh'

I look at females and instantly measure how much I would want to date her, how hot she is, and then I become all fuzzy on the inside.

I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian. I could never imagine me getting with a man but every time someone calls me gay the first thought I get is me dating this crazy hot girl.

I tried to come out to my parents (my dad and his gf) a few months ago, but they just shut me down, saying that it's a phase (they are kinda homophobic)

I don't want to speak to my mother about it because the moment I speak to her I feel guilty and I haven't spoken to her in a few months anyway. I have to speak to her soon anyway because tommorrow is her birthday.

Anyway,

I need to accept myself for who I am, and acknowledge that I am gay.

But at the moment, I can't.

My life is annoying.

Thank you if you took the time to read this whole thing, I just needed to let off some steam.

I really appreciate it :)

Now it's complete

Here’s another reblog game for the Pokeganda community! Use the fusion generator I used in my last one. What you have to do is use your Pokeganda Pokemon, and another one with the Pokeganda blog who inspired you. You are allowed to show us both variations. (Where your pokemon is in slot one and the inspiration in slot two, and vice versa.) You should also tag the Pokeganda blog you use to show how much you love them. Here’s my example with my blog, and the one blog who really inspired me and helped me out!

I want to thank @wartortle-propaganda for all the help of reblogging my things and giving me tips on how to be a good Pokeganda blog!

you can only reblog this today

It's really not that hard to tell actors from their characters

Like, this is Loki

And this is Tom. They have different colored hair.

This is Castiel

And this is Misha. They wear different clothes.

This is Tony Stark

And this is Robert Downey Jr. They have different names.

Simple

WHY TF IS EVERYONE LICKING A STATUES ASS

Man I'm so happy right now

I just ordered a medium diet coke from macdonalds and they gave me a large one..

ALSO two of my eggs just hatched

AND my phone died but just as it died someone moved out of the seat with a charger so now I'm charging my phone

:)

AND it's sunny

Never call me the q slur.

Never take that word and try to shove it down my throat because it tastes like the boys who bullied me and screamed that name. It sounds like my frightened grandparents when they shrieked that when they saw a healthy gay couple in a video. It tastes like my ex who would yell that word at me when he wanted to upset me because he knows my history with it.

It tastes like years of repressed feelings and the fear of being different. It tastes like my first girlfriend who’s toungue was shoved down my throat and I felt nothing. It tastes like isolation out of fear I’ll be alone forever.

I do not care if you have reclaimed it and wear that word like it’s a crown-for me it’s the diseased rats that crawl at your feet, your majesty. If you’d look down and realize where the roots came from and how they infect others like me, maybe you’d understand why we call it a slur and refuse to take it as ours.

Asgard memes

I really hate those stupids posts that are like:

“What about REAL monster girls??? Not just weird humans?? like real huge MONSTERS?? With giant sharp claws and big sharp teeth?? Where are those???”

You’re thinking of bestiality. You want to fuck a T-Rex.

Ok. I'm sorry that I 'derailed' a post, even though I was talking about bisexuals too, and linking them together, Unlike the completely different topics of asains and black people and the different forms of racism they experience. Also I only added one point about aces. The purpose of that reblog was about aces, but mainly bisexuals.

I was just putting it out there that no matter what you feel and who you feel it towards, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't what you determine yourself as. You do you. That was my point. When I said 'learn about it' and 'stop being disrespectful' I was talking about aces and bisexuals equally. The post was still about bisexuals.

I get that you're annoyed and I'm sorry that I annoyed you, I was just making a point about ace people. In the future I will make posts and not comment/repost on any others if it bothers you that much.

Update... I let my friend get a hold of my pen..