... "forget Everything About How Sex Is Supposed To Go, And Everything About How It’s Supposed To Look.

... "forget everything about how sex is supposed to go, and everything about how it’s supposed to look. Focus instead on how it’s supposed to feel, and what it’s supposed to do. Remember that everything about sex is about the people. Whether there is one or two or more people involved, every one of them is a partner, and every one needs to be happy with how it goes. To do that, they have to share information. Encourage each other to say what feels good (physically and emotionally), and do it more. Whatever doesn’t work — either for you or for them (physically or emotionally), stop doing.

That’s it. Really. Some folks might tell you, for example, that “everyone” loves oral sex⁠. But not really. If you and your partner are not so into it, then it doesn’t do you any good. People might tell you that sex only “counts” or goes “all the way” if a penis⁠ goes in a vagina⁠, or in some other entrance or whatever arbitrary definition “they” agree on. What good does that kind of keeping score do anybody? That stuff is for gossip, it doesn’t help anyone have better sex."

Thomas MacAulay Millar, Ethical Horniness, Or How To Find A Partner In An Enthusiastic Consent World

More Posts from Casuallystressedout and Others

2 years ago

just want him laying on my bed, utterly fucked out, unable to speak or think, because of what I did to him.

5 months ago

it is medically understood that people who have pets live longer, adopt a puppygirl, cat girl, or other type of petgirl today!!!

4 months ago

🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

You! Have been visited by the gnome of executive function! Reblog to send them along to make sure they visit the next person in need!

🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

1 year ago

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

11 months ago

ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.

ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week

6 months ago

queer people of all kinds. i am looking you in the eyes. do not fucking kill yourself. are you listening to me it will be okay. it will get better. i am shaking you by the shoulders do. not. fucking. do. it. you have so much to keep going for and so many people who love you. the cost of the present will not outweigh the life ahead of you. i love you. chin up or down keep walking you'll get there. we will pull you back up onto your feet should you fall. i love you

1 year ago
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30, leftist, polyam, ADHD

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