“Let Me Tell You This: If You Meet A Loner, No Matter What They Tell You, It’s Not Because They Enjoy

“(…) for many a long day loneliness will sit over our roofs with brooding wings.”

— Bram Stoker, from Dracula

Feeling a little lost at the moment. I haven't been able to communicate for the longest time. I am very used to being by myself and not letting anyone in. But lately, I feel too lonely, like life is too monotonous without the hustle and bustle of people around. I want to connect with people, especially be able to talk to my existing friends itself. I know they won't be able to understand how I feel or relate to my problems and so I have kept it all to myself. In this way, I have become boring with absolutely nothing to say. I wonder how I should break out of this dullness in my life. Any tips on how to start?

“I would paint a portrait which would bring the tears, had I canvass for it, and the scene should be - solitude, and the figures - solitude - and the lights and shades, each a solitude. I could fill a chamber with landscapes so lone, men should pause and weep there; then haste grateful home, for a loved one left.”

— Emily Dickinson, from To Susan Gilbert, 27 November-3 December 1854 in “Letters Of Emily Dickinson”

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”

— Coco Chanel

13 things i learned in 2020

nothing stays the same. without a moment's notice, everything can change and leave you wondering what the hell happened. living in the present and appreciating the small things is important because nothing else is guaranteed or permanent.

we humans are not as important as we believe ourselves to be. when the bee dies so do the flowers. when we die the flowers grow back. if we are to build a better future, we must give back to the planet by changing the ways we live on it.

time is not real. there is nothing in the laws of physics that can prove it is anything other than a human construct.

power of the people will always outweigh the people in power. the 1% are scared of us realising this and acting upon it.

home is more of a person than a place. the way i see my family has changed. all that other stuff i thought i wanted when the true treasure was here all along.

distance does not lessen the value or strength of true friendship.

self-care is by far the most important skill to learn in life. being aware of my needs, how things effect me, and eliminating harmful inputs has gone a long way in improving my physical and mental health.

social media does not offer an honest or healthy way in which to view the world. like a toxic friend, it uses our desires and insecurities in all sorts of manipulative ways. being able to take a step back and reconnect with the real physical world can be both invigorating and revelatory.

simple acts of kindness cost nothing but are as precious as gold dust.

eye contact has become a new form of communication. with masks hiding half of our faces we have no choice but to look at each other's souls. we see each other more now and we offer strangers in the street smiles from our eyes rather than our mouths.

being lonely doesn't mean we're alone. everyone is going through something. even if they don't show it.

laughter is the closest thing there is to magic. watery eyes, burning chests and aching ribs from laughing too much are the most wonderful feelings in the world.

i am much more resilient and capable than i thought i was.