I Keep Seeing A Post Going Around Along The Lines Of “If You Have PCOS Or Your Body Hair Is So Long

I keep seeing a post going around along the lines of “If you have PCOS or your body hair is so long as to be physically uncomfortable, it’s OK to trim it”; and while this is obviously true as far as it goes, I would like to go much, much further? And say actually, you can do whatever the fuck you want to with your body hair?? Because it is YOUR hair, on YOUR body???

I realize that practicalities may interfere with dreams here, but morally speaking: you don’t owe hairlessness to the corporate patriarchy and you don’t owe hairiness to feminism. You don’t owe it to your employer to relax your curls or cover your grays, and you don’t owe it to your conservative auntie to refrain from a neon-green and hot-pink Manic Panic dye job. If you want to spend hours grooming your long luxuriant bottle-blonde mermaid hair, or shave your head or your entire body every morning, or put 112 rainbow ribbons in your full beard, or dye your pits in tiger stripes, or tweeze an anarchy symbol into your arm hair, or get pube extensions so you can wear it in elaborate braids like a dwarf, all that is totally your prerogative and you do not owe an explanation to anyone, actually! You are not required to get a note from your doctor testifying that you have experienced hair-related suffering in order to justify your grooming habits! What the hell! Leave other people alone about their fuckin hair, and expect them to do the same for you!

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6 months ago

There’s also a large grey area between an Offensive Stereotype and “thing that can be misconstrued as a stereotype if one uses a particularly reductive lens of interpretation that the text itself is not endorsing”, and while I believe that creators should hold some level of responsibility to look out for potential unfortunate optics on their work, intentional or not, I also do think that placing the entire onus of trying to anticipate every single bad angle someone somewhere might take when reading the text upon the shoulders of the writers – instead of giving in that there should be also a level of responsibility on the part of the audience not to project whatever biases they might carry onto the text – is the kind of thing that will only end up reducing the range of stories that can be told about marginalized people. 

A japanese-american Beth Harmon would be pidgeonholed as another nerdy asian stock character. Baby Driver with a black lead would be accused of perpetuating stereotypes about black youth and crime. Phantom Of The Opera with a female Phantom would be accused of playing into the predatory lesbian stereotype. Romeo & Juliet with a gay couple would be accused of pulling the bury your gays trope – and no, you can’t just rewrite it into having a happy ending, the final tragedy of the tale is the rock onto which the entire central thesis statement of the play stands on. Remove that one element and you change the whole point of the story from a “look at what senseless hatred does to our youth” cautionary tale to a “love conquers all” inspiration piece, and it may not be the story the author wants to tell.

Sometimes, in order for a given story to function (and keep in mind, by function I don’t mean just logistically, but also thematically) it is necessary that your protagonist has specific personality traits that will play out in significant ways in the story. Or that they come from a specific background that will be an important element to the narrative. Or that they go through a particular experience that will consist on crucial plot point. All those narrative tools and building blocks are considered to be completely harmless and neutral when telling stories about straight/white people but, when applied to marginalized characters, it can be difficult to navigate them as, depending on the type of story you might want to tell, you may be steering dangerously close to falling into Unfortunate Implications™. And trying to find alternatives as to avoid falling into potentially iffy subtext is not always easy, as, depending on how central the “problematic” element to your plot, it could alter the very foundation of the story you’re trying to tell beyond recognition. See the point above about Romeo & Juliet.    

Like, I once saw a woman a gringa obviously accuse the movie Knives Out of racism because the one latina character in the otherwise consistently white and wealthy cast is the nurse, when everyone who watched the movie with their eyes and not their ass can see that the entire tension of the plot hinges upon not only the power imbalance between Martha and the Thrombeys, but also on her isolation as the one latina immigrant navigating a world of white rich people. I’ve seen people paint Rosa Diaz as an example of the Hothead Latina stereotype, when Rosa was originally written as a white woman (named Megan) and only turned latina later when Stephanie Beatriz was cast  – and it’s not like they could write out Rosa’s anger issues to avoid bad optics when it is such a defining trait of her character. I’ve seen people say Mulholland Drive is a lesbophobic movie when its story couldn’t even exist in first place if the fatally toxic lesbian relationship that moves the plot was healthy, or if it was straight.                          

That’s not to say we can’t ever question the larger patterns in stories about certain demographics, or not draw lines between artistic liberty and social responsibility, and much less that I know where such lines should be drawn. I made this post precisely to raise a discussion, not to silence people. But one thing I think it’s important to keep in mind in such discussions is that stereotypes, after all, are all about oversimplification. It is more productive, I believe, to evaluate the quality of the representation in any given piece of fiction by looking first into how much its minority characters are a) deep, complex, well-rounded, b) treated with care by the narrative, with plenty of focus and insight into their inner life, and c) a character in their own right that can carry their own storyline and doesn’t just exist to prop up other character’s stories. And only then, yes, look into their particular characterization, but without ever overlooking aspects such as the context and how nuanced such characterization is handled. Much like we’ve moved on from the simplistic mindset that a good female character is necessarily one that punches good otherwise she’s useless, I really do believe that it is time for us to move on from the the idea that there’s a one-size-fits-all model of good representation and start looking into the core of representation issues (meaning: how painfully flat it is, not to mention scarce) rather than the window dressing.

I know I am starting to sound like a broken record here, but it feels that being a latina author writing about latine characters is a losing game, when there’s extra pressure on minority authors to avoid ~problematic~ optics in their work on the basis of the “you should know better” argument. And this “lower common denominator” approach to representation, that bars people from exploring otherwise interesting and meaningful concepts in stories because the most narrow minded people in the audience will get their biases confirmed, in many ways, sounds like a new form of respectability politics. Why, if it was gringos that created and imposed those stereotypes onto my ethnicity, why it should be my responsibility as a latina creator to dispel such stereotypes by curbing my artistic expression? Instead of asking of them to take responsibility for the lenses and biases they bring onto the text? Why is it too much to ask from people to wrap their minds about the ridiculously basic concept that no story they consume about a marginalized person should be taken as a blanket representation of their entire community?

It’s ridiculous. Gringos at some point came up with the idea that latinos are all naturally inclined to crime, so now I, a latina who loves heist movies, can’t write a latino character who’s a cool car thief. Gentiles created antisemitic propaganda claiming that the jews are all blood drinking monsters, so now jewish authors who love vampires can’t write jewish vampires. Straights made up the idea that lesbian relationships tend to be unhealthy, so now sapphics who are into Brontë-ish gothic romance don’t get to read this type of story with lesbian protagonists. I want to scream.      

And at the end of the day it all boils down to how people see marginalized characters as Representation™ first and narrative tools created to tell good stories later, if at all. White/straight characters get to be evaluated on how entertaining and tridimensional they are, whereas minority characters get to be evaluated on how well they’d fit into an after school special. Fuck this shit.                            


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1 month ago

I’ve spent all Easter weekend camping and writing a nowhere boys fanfic and I’m sooo close to finishing, I’m just missing a little bit of the middle and I have no idea how to end it

But I’m so happy that I actually wrote so much in the last three days in between all the card games

It’s mainly Jake centric and I’m excited to make a contribution to the fandom of one of my favourite shows as a kid


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8 months ago

Every time I get up to the fifth chapter of the fic I personally selected last two nights ago, it says error. NO OTHER FIC

A couple of our servers have gotten a bit overwhelmed, so we're taking some down time to give them a chance to catch up. We'll be back as soon as possible!

2024-09-02 11:30 UTC


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6 months ago

I could watch this man make chocolate forever


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6 months ago

hope is a skill

7 months ago

the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument

image
5 months ago
candiestofqueens - Untitled

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1 year ago

If you think about it, Shazam! Fury of the Gods is just a really long skittles ad


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4 months ago

I love kids man, I’m holidaying with my cousins and I’m in my own room and we’re all saying goodnight. On her way out my youngest cousin asks if she can have my shoes when she’s older. Unprompted?? Zero connections to any conversations over the last week? Blinking up at me?


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candiestofqueens - Untitled
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She/TheyI’m part of many fandoms and part of few very small ones.

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