I Got Sick, My Brain Is Boiled

Hiya gang! Although I'm not doing it here, I'm hosting a DTIYS on my Instagram so if you do wanna join....

Find me there by the same name! Or @ me in your post, I'd love to see!

Perhaps you will appreciate this: I dreamed about reading the sequel to TAU and in it they encountered the grave of someone who had been in a romantic relationship with an AI god. The AI god was unnamed; the person was only known as the Spinmaster. I will not ask you to confirm/deny the trend of naming oneself after a laundry machine in order to court a giant robot.

oh my god i'm THRILLED

i will neither confirm nor deny the details but i WILL say book 2 is replete with fun new characters (and their fun new identity problems) who have fun new relationships with AIs (as well as fun new AI/AI relationships -- it's extremely yuri up in here rn, which i mean in the star-on-star-to-black-hole sense of the word)

We are so back!!!! Figured I’d do some with the Full fantasy Ever after high AU again….

This time the introduction of a handsome stranger? Who is this *man* sent to protect the princess?? 👀👀👀

Ok but like, imagine if Grimm tried to turn back time on legacy day to stop Raven from refusing to sign, only for another student to end up rebelling each time.  On the first time loop, He rewinds to an hour before legacy day and has the main snow white characters move to the back of the line with an excuse of saving the best for last or something of the sort. He assumes that since she’s a teen and everyone else will sign before her Raven will give into peer pressure and sign without a scene. But then halfway through Hunter, who wasn’t moved because he plays a more prevalent role in the red riding hood story, slams the Storybook of Legends shut and declares his unwillingness to live a life of violence and to live without the love of his life, thus causing the daughter of Cinderella who just signed the book to fling herself into his arms. Unexpected, but Grimm rationalizes that if he just moves Hunter to the back as well then it’ll all be fixed. Highschool relationships tend to be short, and legacy is more important after all. So on the second loop he moves all the snow white characters to the back, and sits in the crowd with the tension finally leaving his shoulders now that the main problem has been diffused. Except it hasn’t been diffused, because Briar Beauty watches her story play out in the book and in a fit of hysterics rips the binding in half once she sees a reflection of future self in the mirror, with tired eyes wearing clothes a century behind the time reminding her violently of her mother. And it just keeps happening. On one run through Cerise Hood tears her cloak off and reveals her true heritage as a wolf, causing pandemonium on the crowds. On another Darling Charming somehow takes a sword out of her long skirt, and severs her page from the book, declaring she refuses to be a damsel anymore. On one incredibly harrowing timeline everything was going fine until Kitty Cheshire refused to sign, giving him a nonchalant shrug and a taunt of “better rewind again” while her ever present smile haunted him. It gets to the point where he rewinds to a month prior to legacy day, spending that month keeping Ashlynn and Hunter away from each other, Bribing Kitty, separating Cerise and Ravens class schedule so that their friendship can’t form and pushing Darling to take on a damsels in distressing honors project with Apple in hopes his top student will rub off on her. In the end his efforts are fruitless however because somehow Apple is the one to rebel, apparently having fallen in love with Darling sometime in that month. just, the chaos if it all.

ok alright i've got one:

tenbeasts! is there a, ah, list of them? or is more of a "i'll name one when i want one" thing? or any associated spicy lil tidbits?

THERE IS IN FACT A LIST. Kept for my own reference, though often misplaced. Some slots are immutable and others are still open to revision!

Basics: There are ten divine beasts, though the number and exact animals are somewhat up for debate depending on who you ask and where they're from -- e.g., downworld apocrypha might say that there are in fact only nine, or that the number varies between eons. Overall analogous to the Chinese zodiac.

The tenbeasts are chimeric combinations of the divine beasts in the most common roster, so there are five distinct types that Iterate Fractal, er, mass-produced, so to speak.

The divine beasts:

Peacock

Serpent

Salamander

Carp

Cat

Monkey

Fox

Bat

Ox

??? varies too much btwn my lists to say with certainty. Moth? Bear? Deer? I'll decide at some point. (OR MAYBE I WON'T!!)

The tenbeasts derived from them:

Sentinel-fowl (peacock + serpent) [canon]

Dragon-children (salamander + carp) [canon]

Company-cat (cat + monkey) [canon]

[Winged fox] (fox + bat) [probably pretty canon]

??? some kind of ox-forward beast of burden (ox + ???) [working on it]

Do I need to become a one person fandom for The Archive Undying? Is anyone else here can anyone hear me?? The Archive Undying?!!?!!!!! Sunai? Sunai anyone? Veyadi??? Hello???

Haunted Waves

surprise :]

hey pals, i actually REALLY don't like the dragon games lineup

like... this is just so random. it doesn't fit. i don't like this. if ever after high didn't solely exist to market dolls, these are the students that i can see playing in the dragon games. but first, i wanna start with an explanation of why i'm removing who i'm removing from the lineup

the wonderlandians: i'm gonna be so fr, if scott morrison came to my hs and was like "yo guys i'm starting a basketball team" i am NOT joining that shit. and bro wasn't even incarcerated for poisoning the other country i have citizenship in OR idk stealing some other lady's job. he's just a prime minister that i don't really like. and i'm not a refugee. the wonderlandians on the other hand... yikes. they would NOT have played dragonball with the evil queen

the o'hair twins: now first of all, holly has expressed nothing but wanting to follow her destiny, which very much includes damselling and distressing. plus that hair is a fire hazard ;-; as for poppy, when i first watched dragon games i deadass thought that the twins ONLY got armour because they were just modelling what everyone else would get, and they wouldn't take part. especially because i think she'd be more concerned with maintaining the integrity of the armour and doing routine checks just making sure that a piece of equipment wouldn't become faulty and responsible for one of her friends or classmates getting injured

melody piper: what do you MEAN that this girl isn't emceeing the event?? she was born for that

who would actually play:

raven queen, for the exact reasons in the show

apple white, but only because the evil queen blackmails her

now, an argument could be made against darling charming, since she'd been working so hard before this point to maintain the whole "damsel in distress" thing she had going on since her parents were legacy book-thumping royals, however i think she would've been able to make the case to them "well daring is gonna marry apple one day so i think it's good for me to start getting along with snow white now since she's his future mother in law", plus everyone practically worships snow white

daring charming. bro has a DRAGON RIDING LICENSE. yet he wasn't on the field lmao

cerise hood. girlie is canonically a jock. she would live for dragon games. all she'd need to do is pin her hood to her hairline and she'd be fine

briar beauty because she's literally an adrenaline junkie. it's honestly more surprising that she WASN'T the first one to sign up. like make it make sense

i can see jillian beanstalk also joining since she's got that big ol sense of adventure

now, last spot is a bit of a tossup. i could probably see hopper croakington joining just to try to impress briar, or sparrow because it's "rock 'n roll". i'm leaning towards hopper slightly more since sparrow's whole thing is "i look out for the number one: me" or whatever and he's probably more afraid of dying than like. looking cool. especially because i actually don't think he does any hero classes or anything (just going off memory)

Thinking about them....

fresh Silly question for you, if you'd like one:

what animals would TAU characters be?

Lucky you, wife and I had the daemon debate years ago and have OPINIONS:

Sunai is a mongoose. Reasonably cute looking but actually extremely adept at very specific violence. Action twink at it again to keep the colony safe.

Veyadi is a raccoon -- hear me out!! Too clever! To the point that he is a constant problem for himself and others! LITTLE KING TRASHMOUTH. HE'S GAY.

Jin is the largest and most regrettable parrot. Has figured out how to open doors and we are all suffering for it.

Imaru is the coolest person on deck because she probably is legitimately like, a wolf -- but the kind that's on the verge of domesticating itself.

Gonna do a few more under a cut bc they're not really spoilers, but they take up more room later in the book, so if you want to go in cleaner! Avoid! I just want to talk about them! You're welcome!

Ruhi is a police dog. A dog, with all the positive prosocial instincts that come with being a dog, but unfortunately also a cop.

Madam Wei is a swan. I often compare her to some kind of terrifying raptor bird, but I think swan fits better overall bc of how she seems elegant from a distance but up close is just the most frightening thing in the pond.

The Maw is one of those poor rhesus monkeys raised in a lab with terry cloth mothers.

The passenger is a robot.

And because my wife would not help me finish this list until I added her other blorbo: Ueda is a scrungly old lioness who is still not dead, much to her own surprise as much as anyone else's.