Johnny @ The 2022 Met Gala

“I think communication starts when words are not present at all … I think we put so much emphasis on language, actually silence is so much more important.”

— Marina Abramovic

[ 23:58pm ] — i love you. remember that.

you and haechan were polar opposites. he was sociable, outgoing, popular, and charmed every person he crosses paths with. he was very ambitious and hardworking and was probably voted most likely to succeed in high school. you, on the other hand, preferred to keep to yourself most of the time, essentially satisfied with mediocrity, and an overall one’s usual plain jane.

you never understood why he liked you in the first place.

the insecurities in your relationship with haechan rarely clog your mind, but when they do, they hit you like a truck. you tended to distance yourself from your boyfriend, wallowing in your own self-pity until he maybe notices and coaxes you out of it.

you wonder how long until his patience with your negativity runs out and leaves you for someone else. someone better.

“you ok?” haechan’s voice snaps you out of your downward spiral. you blinked a few times out of shock, then responded curtly. “yeah, i’m alright.”

haechan narrowed his eyes at you, obviously not believing a word you’re saying. “penny for your thoughts?”

“it’s nothing, hyuck. go back to playing.”

you used his real name. haechan let out a quiet sigh, took off his headphones and squeezed himself next to you on the bed. you swore you could hear jaemin and jeno yelling at him through his headphones for being afk, but before you could point it out, haechan already has you locked in, his arms snaking around your waist and his legs tangled above yours.

“have i ever told you that you’re pretty?” he whispered.

“sometimes.” you hummed.

“maybe i should be saying it more.” he quietly chuckled.

“you don’t have to.”

haechan scooted almost impossibly closer to you, his breath fanning your neck, the distance between your bodies disappearing.

“have i ever told you that i love you?”

you pause for a moment, guilt creeping into your system. “always.” your boyfriend was one who never shyed away from expressing his feelings. he made sure you felt loved, you hear that you’re loved. his one question was a message to you – ‘i love you, yet why do you feel that way?’ why do you feel so insecure in your relationship when he has never failed to appreciate you? to love you?

“i love the way your forehead scrunches up when you focus.” he started, his fingers softly touching and gliding over your bare arms.

“i love the way you get excited when i come home with cheesecake.” he lightly laughed at the thought as his hands travelled up to your face, cupping your cheeks and making you face him. “i love the way you’re so goddamn bad at valorant, yet you play with me when i ask you to.”

“i think about you all the time. your smile, your hands, your face, your laugh. i think about you before i sleep, the moment i wake up, everytime i eat. it’s you that i see. you’re running through my mind all day it’s . . “ he let out a somewhat exasperated sigh. “you’re the only person who makes me this insane, y/n. really.”

“i love you, y/n. you and only you, just the way you are. forever and always.” his voice was much quieter now and his grip around your waist tightened.

“i’m sorry.” was all you could croak out

“it’s okay. i love you. remember that.”

the two of you were silent for a moment. the guilt in your system slowly subsided into feelings of gratefulness – you were thankful he noticed something’s wrong with you quickly, and you were also thankful he knew how to snap yourself out of it.

“wanna watch a movie?” you suggested.

“i’d like that.” he giggled. he slowly snaked himself away from you to get the tv remote, but his movement halted when you called out his name.

“donghyuck?”

his real name. again. he turned back to face you once more.

“i love you, too. forever and always.”

he grinned, moved closer to you and gave you a light peck on the lips.

“i know.”

a/n: i have returned. haechan making me feel things lately god im so in love w him it’s insanejfksmd.

Say it again.

pairing: boyfriend!hyuck x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship!AU, slight roadtrip!AU

warnings: is mentions of being pushed into the sea a warning also this is super cheesy idk

word count: 1k words

a/n: monch cronch im in love with black hair hyuck

networks/taglist: @neoturtles @knet-bakery @kflixnet @nct-writers @k-radio + @soobin-chois @markhyuckselca @jaehunnyy <3

Donghyuck is no gentleman, is what you've learned from dating him for 2 years. At least, not to other people. 

Mark Lee says he has too much of a soft spot for you, his teasing remarks are never as harsh as it is to his other friends, and he's much more loving. 

'Then go date him,' is all you had to say to Mark, with Donghyuck giggling at the thought of dating Mark a moment later. However, you think he is right. 

You've been dating for 2 years already, and not once have you told him you love him. Of course, you do love him. With your whole heart, but it's a little hard for you to express it through words. Donghyuck had first told you by the first 6 months of your relationship, and clarified that it was okay if you didn't say it back. 

It's been a year since then, and you wonder how he's been able to keep himself back from asking you every time you kiss his cheek or nod instead of saying it back. 

As you said, Lee Donghyuck is no gentleman to others, but to you, he is the gentlest. 

Hence why he spent over 2 weeks planning this trip, the current one you're on, a little trip to the beach, after seeing how incredibly stressed you've been due to midterms. 

And now here you sit, in his trunk, watching as he picks up shells from the bay. You went on over and decided to chill in the warm heater of the car after being pushed into the water by none other than your lover. You were going to scold him, if it weren't for his giggles and cheek kisses. They make you incredibly soft. 

This whole trip has you in a daze, unable to fully grasp the fact that Donghyuck really took his time to arrange all this. Your heart swirls and your insides feel too fuzzy for you to dislike it. 

The sensations grow stronger when Donghyuck comes running back to the car with a grin, his palms all full with pretty shells. 

"Hi baby, you doing okay here?" 

You can't help but grin back, nodding. "It's warm, I like it."

He plants his lips on yours momentarily, and mumbles, "Good to know," 

Donghyuck then drops all the shells in his hands, dusting all the sand off his fingertips. "Planning on giving the guys some shells, Chenle would go crazy for these things." 

A smile curls at your lips, knowing that Chenle would indeed go crazy for shells. You don't know why though. 

"Of course, you get most of them. All the pretty ones," 

If it were even possible, your smile stretches wider, reaching your ears, and you tighten the towel around you as if it would ground you from the amount of love you feel towards Donghyuck. 

And then it hits you. The urge to say the 3 words. It's so easy, it's perfect, you feel it completely towards Donghyuck, even if he's just tossing shells into a container. 

"I love you," It slips out without you knowing, oh so naturally, and you feel complete satisfaction when you say it. Why have you never done it before? 

Donghyuck doesn't seem to notice at first, as it came out as a quiet mumble. He does realize you've said something a moment later, turning to you. "Hmm, what was that baby? I didn't catch that,"

Your heart thumps, but it's not out of nervousness, it's excitement, it's pure happiness, it's love. Your lips part, and the words slip out once again, so naturally, and it feels 10 times better than before. "I love you,"

Donghyuck stops completely in his tracks, eyes widening and lips gaped. "W-what?"

"I love you."

Donghyuck scrambles next to you, his hands trembling as he takes yours in them. His touch is soft, softer than usual, intertwining them in a lock. "You love me?"

"I love you, goddamn it!" 

A smile finally lifts his lips up, his grin brighter than ever. His eyes glisten, and you're not sure if it's because of his happiness, or the glistening of the bright sun in his eyes, or tears. You want to believe he’s just feeling happy, you wouldn’t want him to cry.

It’s a little bit too late for you to be wishing that, as he sniffles with a laugh, dragging you into his embrace as he attacks your cheeks, your nose, chin, eyelids, every inch of your skin with kisses and much love. 

His hands leave yours as you try to push him away with laughs, instead clasping at your cheeks, as he leaves a long kiss on your forehead. He pulls away, alas, but you’re sure he’s not finished. Donghyuck has tears glistening on his cheeks, but they’re far from sorrow, they’re signs of love, adoration and utmost care. 

He sighs, almost dreamily, as you softly wipe his tears away. 

“Say it again,” He murmurs into your palm. 

“I love you,” You repeat. 

“Again?”

“I love you,”

“Again.”

“Lee Donghyuck, I love you! How many times must I say it before you believe me?”

This loving smile quirks up into a playful smirk, as he taps a finger to his chin to feign contemplation. “A thousand.” 

Donghyuck grows confused when you pull away from his hug, watching as you hop back into your seat in his car trunk. A knowing grin creeps on his lips when you get comfortable, and pull out your fingers. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love Lee Donghyuck, I love Donghyuck Lee, I love Peter Lee, I love my loving boyfriend whom I love–”

“Alright! I get it, you love me!” His playful and teasing tone is back, and his gaze has a hint of mischief as well, as he climbs next to you.

Instantly, he brings you into his embrace, planting a kiss on your lips, laughing at the light taste of sea salt and sand. There’s a silence between you too, ever so peaceful, as you listen to only Donghyuck’s heartbeat, and the swaying of the sea. 

Your lover breaks the silence not long after that, looking down at you, causing you to automatically look up at him.

“Say it one more time?”

“I love you, Lee Donghyuck,”

FInally, a sense of peace and assurance waves over him after minutes of disbelief. You can sense this, you can almost physically see it as he shuts his eyes as if to savor the moment. 

His fingers dance with yours in a lock, “I love you more.”

I choose to trust. I choose to believe. No matter what reasons I may have to be skeptical, anxious, and insecure, no matter how very valid those reasons are… I still choose to trust. In love. In friendship. In success. In luck and in hope. In a better future for me, surrounded by those I love. I choose my own future. I won’t let anxiety and trauma choose it for me.

“I choose to love you in silence because in silence I find no rejection, and in silence no one owns you but me.”

— Rumi

gimme gimme!

pairings. haechan x (f) reader

genre. FLUFF! established relationship

warnings. implications to sex towards the end, haechan being so fucking >_< in this one (do y’all understand??)

note. again,, inspired by this tiktok SOMEONE HELP ME FROM MY IMAGINATION AND THOUGHTS BC THIS W HAECHAN ????

—

haechan is home with you, but not really for a good reason. he’s exempt from his schedules due to health reasons so he’s instructed to stay home and get some well needed rest. but you’re glad that he’s with you and under your watch.

both of you are on your couch, your back against the arm rest and your legs thrown over haechan’s lap as he’s watching a youtube video on the tv. his arm is slung behind you resting on the couch as his other arm is resting on your thighs, occasionally giving your thigh a squeeze with his hand. you’re on your tablet reading a book you’ve been excited to read that a friend had recommended to you.

this is what your days have consisted of, just you two in your apartment. either glued on the couch snuggled together or talking about anything in your kitchen and laughing or in your bed getting lost in each others warmth. of course, you do leave the house in the morning for classes and come back before dinner, haechan awaiting upon your arrival at the entrance of your front door with open arms and his bright smile.

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I'm torn on whether I should write about you again.

Will my heart race once more when I write your name or will I just feel the regret of never really letting you understand how deeply I fell for you?

You won't ever be reading this piece, for all I know is that you're so in to your own world, and I love that about you, but sometimes you end up forgetting about me.

You see, I've grown. I've been better, but my adoration towards you will remain until the time I take my last breath.

For every time I will fall for someone, there will always be a detail crafted from the feeling of falling for you.

I know how I'll fail in trying to forbid my heart to speak about you. That's just something I'll never learn.

This might be the way for me to give myself my own closure.

So even without you knowing, I'll write about you, pab. Til the day I get to realize that I've let you go fully.

—sheinvanilla

“Almost every woman I have ever met has a secret belief that she is just on the edge of madness, that there is some deep, crazy part within her, that she must be on guard constantly against ‘losing control’ — of her temper, of her appetite, of her sexuality, of her feelings, of her ambition, of her secret fantasies, of her mind.”

― Elana Dykewomon, Sinister Wisdom 36: Surviving Psychiatric Assault & Creating Emotional Well-Being in Our Communities

>> take my breath

wc: 465 give me a good morning call tomorrow

“good morning!” haechan greets, cheerful as he sings into the receiver. “it’s morning now, right?”

there’s a moment of silence that passes before you respond, and for a second all he hears is the faint rustle of your cotton sheets. you let out a yawn.

“mhm,” is your eventual, sleepy reply. “5 am to be exact.”

he throws his head back. “damn, i miscalculated.”

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