Latest Posts by butterflybastard - Page 3

When I was a child, many of my sensory issues were used as the butt of jokes by my family. I had many phobias due to these issues, but they were laughed off as they were seen as "extreme" or over the top.

Examples would be I was terrified of pinecones as young as 3 because I thought they were visually disturbing and dangerous. So, at the age of 4/5, we were in a park and I handed my mum my jacket so I could use the public loo. She proceeded to fill the pockets, sleeves and hood with pinecones.

I had a meltdown in the middle of a forest. I screamed and collapsed and i was told I was overreacting.

Now, this isn't good behaviour for an adult for any child.

But when you're an undiagnosed autistic, you begin to learn that your sensory pain doesn't matter. It's too much, and needs to be ignored.

Holding the door closed whilst the toilet flushed, another sensory pain was one done to me "for laughs". I was told it wasn't that big of a deal and I needed to grow up.

So, is it any wonder that late diagnosed (and probably many early diagnosed) autistics ignore their own needs? We don't want to be too much. We don't want to rock the boat and endure being told that we're overreacting and to just shut up.

Sandman // Morpheus // Dream of the Endless by Álvaro Fernández González

This artist on Instagram

huge gf

🌷 A Bouquet of Tulips 🌷

Happy Valentine’s Day!

You would kill a man for this bedroom

OKAY NO

EVERYONE TAKE THIS FUCKING QUIZ RIGHT NOW

IM LITERALLY ANGRY ABOUT HOW ACCURATE IT IS FUCK THIS THING ALL I DID WAS CLICK ON COLORS ??? HO W DOES I TKNOW FRICK

Like to charge reblog to cast

stop what you’re doing and watch this

i want to be someone else’s safety. even nonromantically. i want to be “hey can i tell you something?” i want to be - i tried something new and i’m a little scared but i wanted to show you. i want to be “i knew i could trust you”. i want to be okay to hold the hand of, always ready to listen, always trying. even if i don’t get it perfect, you know? i just want to be a place other people can relax and be themselves and not worry for a fraction of an instant. 

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

Finally got polls, and I’m a barista, so here ya go

and for the love of Gd please reblog, I did not tag this with queer tags because it would be selectively biased

Please reblog and add your nationality in the tags along with what you answered! I'm very curious about this; and it's not to shame anybody, so don't be rude!

Let’s make a giant F in the chat for those who don’t have polls yet.

If the last digit of the votes is 1, 2, 3 or 4, vote for the first. If it’s 5, vote for the second, if it’s 6, 7, or 8, vote for the third. If it’s 9, the fourth, and if it’s 0, the last. Please reblog to make the biggest F possible 🤗

After voting, put what you voted in the tags

TW: Ableism

I don't know which late/self-diagnosed autistic needs to hear this, but your autism pre-diagnosis wasn't "mild" and you didn't go "under the radar"

You were ignored - whether it be intentionally or unintentionally. There was a time or multiple when you tried to advocate for yourself - when you were visibly struggling, and you were ignored, ostracized and expected to "rise above" it.

You are disabled. You've been disabled. Unfortunately you just did not have the support system to help you.

You do not have the right to touch someone's disability aid without asking, whether that aid be a wheelchair or an AAC device.

"It's just a tablet, though." No, it is not. It is my voice. Touching or moving my device without my permission is like touching my mouth without permission, it's weird, gross, invasive, and rude. Stop.

Pushing someone's wheelchair without permission is like picking them up and moving them out of the way eithout permission, its weird, invasive, gross, and weird. Stop.

accommodations

knowing something to be true and feeling like something is true should logically be things that always go hand in hand together, but frustratingly enough feelings aren’t things ruled by logic and so this doesn’t always happen. one of these things that I can’t achieve any kind balance between is me knowing that I deserve accommodations and me feeling like I absolutely do not deserve them.

it’s just that when you have been taught your entire life that if you have the ability to do something on your own, you do not deserve any help making it easier to achieve, it becomes very hard to let go of that lesson even when you know it wasn’t factual. it’s too deeply hammered into you that only the helpless deserve help, so if you can do anything without help you’re obviously not helpless and obviously don’t ever deserve help.

but I now know this to be wrong

and as for what I know to be true is that there is no point in suffering.

there is no merit to taking a perilous road to reach a place you could have reached with another path that won’t force you to pay the toll with anguish.

exhausting yourself to the point of not even being able to appreciate the view of the mountain you climbed is pointless. 

pain is not a virtue. 

not only the mythical helpless but everybody deserves and needs help sometimes. you needing help more than the majority needs it isn’t a moral failing. 

always giving everything 101% of your best is not the rent you pay for being alive. 

living is hard enough without disabilities and illnesses, you shouldn’t make it harder on yourself by not grabbing onto infrequent given opportunities (and unjustly infrequent might I add!) to level the playing field.

I feel wholeheartedly that you deserve accommodations for your disabilities and illnesses be they mental or physical or what have you. I'm looking forward to day I feel wholeheartedly that I deserve them to.

but for now knowing is enough.

some old shrooms i forgot i drew

Moon Harps // Mini Arp on Etsy

*throws into the void* just spent the last 7 hours of my life on this, pls i can't look at it anymore

bug report

my insatiable desire for praise and attention + my inability to take any negative criticism and feedback keep interfering with each other and it’s ruining my enjoyment of the game

bootterfly

I want every mental health professional that has treated me through out my life to get into a roman amphitheatre with a weapon of their choosing and the winner will decide what disorders I have

This is me with my cat

Video of a kitten at a vet’s office protesting loudly as it’s scooped from the floor. Another kitten turns around the corner and walks up to the camera, also protesting loudly for its friend. From here.

hehe ty!

some other secret talents im hiding:

i paint sometimes!

also i have one of the top 15 scores in the world in pinball! (this was on jess’ rush pinball machine!)

i also do makeup art!

also i play guitar! (and cosplay!)

and more cosplay!

so yeah anyways i’m pretty neat