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41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language

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41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language unique  This list, while exhausting, is soooo not exhaustive; it barely scratches the surface. And each entry could easily become cliché (if it isn’t already). But, it should be enough to get you started. Want more? Start watching people (not in a creepy way), and take notes of what they seem to do when expressing different emotions. Your repertoire of expression will double in no time. PS—do not use these for actual, real-life body language reading; you will fail. These are strictly novelistic.

Awed  -Slack -jawed, raised eyebrows, staring  -Frozen, slack body language (Self? What self? There is only Zuul.)  -Take a step back and put a hand to his heart

Amused  -Smiling and throwing back her head laughing  -Slapping her thighs, stamping her feet, clapping her hands  -Shaking her head (That’s so wrong!)

Angry/Aggressive  -Sharp movements, like shaking a fist, pointing, slashing, or slamming a fist on a table  -Flushed face, patchy red blotches  -Tension in neck—chords standing out, veins throbbing—and jutting or tucked chin  -Arms akimbo, or clenching fists  -Entering someone else’s space and forcing them out  -Poofing up with a wide stance (I am big! Very big!), arms wide (Bring it!)  -Lowered eyebrows, squinting eyes  -Teeth bared, jaw clenched, snarling

Annoyed  -Pressing lips together into a thin line  -Narrowing eyes sometimes with slight head tilt (Why do you still exist?)  -Rolling eyes, often paired with a long-suffering sigh

Anxious  -Fidgeting, such as tearing grass into little pieces, playing with a ring, or chewing on a pencil  -Biting lower lip, swallowing unnecessarily  -Quickened breathing or holding breath  -Darting eyes  -Pallor, sweating, clammy palms  -Unusually high-pitched, “nervous” laughter  -Hunched shoulders  -Pacing

Attentive  -Slow head nodding with a furrowed brow  -Leaning forward, toward the speaker, and sitting up  -Taking notes  -Looking over the top of her glasses

Bored  -Resting his head on his palm, peeking out between the fingers, maybe even slipping so his head “accidentally” hits the table  -Tapping toes, twirling pencil, doodling, and otherwise fidgeting  -Staring out a window, or at anything remotely more interesting (Which is everything …)

Confident  -Arms clasped behind body  -Head lifted, chest out, standing tall  -Walking briskly and making firm, precise movements

Confused  -Tilting head with narrowed eyes  -A furrowed brow  -Shrugging

Contempt/Superiority  -Lifted chin (The better to look down the nose.)  -Pursed lips, sneering, slight frown  -Circling a shoulder, stretching her neck, turning away—anything to indicate she doesn’t see the person as a threat or worthy of her attention  -Grabbing her lapels, or tucking her thumbs in her waistcoat (See this clothing? It is much nicer than yours.)  -Dismissive hand-waving

Cynical/Sarcastic/Bitter  -Twisted lips or a half-smile  -Sneering, sometimes with shaking the head and other defensive body language  -Pressed lips with a slight frown  -Eye rolling

Defensive  -Crossed arms, legs, crossed anything, really (Well, maybe not fingers … or eyes …)  -Arms out, palms forward (Stop!)  -Placing anything (sword, shield, book, backpack) in front of her body

Disgusted  -Crinkling his nose  -Curling his lip and/or showing the tip of his tongue briefly  -Flinching back and interposing a shoulder or turning away  -Covering his nose, gagging, and squinting his eyes shut—hard—for a moment. (It assaults all the senses.)

Displeased  -A plastered-on fake smile (You suck; but I can’t tell you that. So here: a fake smile! Enjoy.)  -Pouting or frowning (I’ll cry if you don’t give me what I want—don’t test me, I will!)  -Crossed arms and other defensive/frustrated body language (I will not let that terrible idea influence me!)

Distressed  -Wide eyes and shallow, rapid breathing  -Beating the walls, or huddling into a corner  -Clasping hands over his head protectively  -Rocking himself  -Handwringing  -Running his hands through his hair

Earnest/Passionate  -Leaning forward, nodding, wide eyes with strong eye contact and raised eyebrows  -Hand on heart, or presented palms-up, or otherwise visible  -A double-handed handshake (I really want to make sure you understand me!)

Embarrassment  -Blushing  -Stammering  -Covering her face with her hands or bowing her head (I’m so embarrassed, I can’t look!)  -Difficulty maintaining eye contact, looking down and away

Excited/Anticipation  -Rubbing hands together (I can’t wait to get my hands on it!)  -Licking lips (It’s so close I can taste it!)  -A vigorous, pumping handshake (I can’t wait to get started!)  -Jumping up and down (Look at me being literal here! I am jumping for joy.)  -A wide and easy grin

Flirty  -Eye play, like winking, looking up through the lashes, over the shoulder glances, and eye catching   -Preening, like hair flipping or smooth, clothing straightening, spine straightening, etc.  -Striking a cowboy pose, with his thumbs gripping his belt tight

Frustrated  -Shaking his head (You are so wrong!)  -Massaging temples (My brain—it hurts.)  -Clasping his wrist in his opposite hand, behind his back (Bad arm! No biscuit.)  -Running his hands through his hair (All this frustration is making my hair mussy. I can feel it.)  -Grabbing onto something like armrests, or white-knuckled interdigitation (Restrain yourself!)

Happy  -Smiling and laughing  -Eyes and nose crinkling  -Swinging her arms, spinning loosely, dancing, jumping

Impatience  -Quick head nodding (Get on with it!)  -Toe/finger tapping (Hear this? These are seconds. Wasted. Listening to you.)  -Sighing, checking the clock/sundial/freckles (Time. It is moving so slowly.)

Jealous  -Tight lips, or a sour expression  -Narrow eyes locked on the perpetrator, to the point of a stare down  -Crossed arms, and additional frustrated, angry, possessive, or bitter body language

Lying  -Scratching their nose, ear, neck, miscellaneous part of face  -Sudden change in behavior or demeanor, including shifty eye contact, lots of long blinking, shrugging -Ill-timed smiles or laughter (This is how I normally smile, right? Right???)  -Additional anxiety body language  -Shaking head no while saying “yes” (I can’t believe I just lied.)  -Licking lips, covering mouth, touching mouth, etc.

Overwhelmed  -Both palms to forehead, fingers splayed (This gives me a headache.)  -Covering eyes with one hand (If I can’t see the world, it can’t see me …)  -Eyes wide and staring into space, hands gripping the table in front of her (… Woah.)

Playful/Friendly  -Winking  -Waggling eyebrows  -Tiny shoves or nudge

Pleasure  -Head tilted back, lips parted slightly, eyes wide or closed  -Slow, languorous movements, stretching (such as arching her neck or back)  -Slight flush, quickened breath and pulse

Possessive  -Handshake with arm clasp  -Putting hands on or around someone’s shoulders, neck, waist, back, or even just the wall near them  -Standing in someone’s personal space, body positioned toward that person  -Any one-sided act of intimacy, like running a knuckle down someone’s cheek  -Staring down any who get too close

Proud/Dominant  -Chin up, chest out, shoulders back  -A painfully hard handshake that not only squishes the bones, but also forces his hand on top  -Leaning back with his hands behind his head, and his feet up  -Strong, unblinking, focused eye contact

Reluctance/Resistance  -Arms crossed, sometimes with fists (Not happening.)  -Dragging feet (But I don’t wanna!)  -Pinching nose (You want me to do what now?)  -Clamping hands over ears (La la la la!)

Sad/Upset  -Droopy body (and anything held, like a sword), bowed in shoulders, wrapping arms around self  -Slow movements with hesitation  -Bottom lip jutting out and/or quivering  -Crying, sobbing, body shaking, sniffling, wet eyes

Secretive  -A tight-lipped smile (My lips are zipped.)  -Hiding her hands in her pockets (What has it got in its nasty little pocket?)  -Looking away

Scared  -Hunched shoulders, shrinking back from others (Don’t hurt me!)  -Wide eyes and lifted eyebrows (The better to see them coming.)  -Shaking, trembling, or freezing  -Rocking from side to side, sometimes holding self (It’ll all be okay, self, it’ll all be okay.)

Shame  -Slumped shoulders (Don’t look at me.)  -Trouble meeting your gaze, looking down and away  -Burying her face in her hands or bowing her head (I can’t face the world right now.)

Shocked  -Hands covering her mouth, or mouth hanging open, sometimes with a gasp (If I had words, I would be saying them.) -Freezing and staring with wide eyes and eyebrows raised (Diverting all resources toward staring.)  -Smacking a palm into his forehead (Clearly, my head isn’t working right, or I wouldn’t have seen that)

Shy  -Avoids eye contact, or has only fleeting eye contact (Eye contact means you might speak to me.)  -Keeps a fair distance from everyone, and will back away if someone steps closer (Space invaders!)  -Folded arms, head down, and other defensive body language (If I make myself small, they can’t see me.)

Smug  -Slight, close-lipped smile (occasionally one-sided) and sometimes one raised eyebrow (I know something you don’t know.)  -Chin slightly tucked, Mona Lisa smile, raised eyebrows (I know better.)  -Finger steepling (I am so smaaaht.)

Suspicious/Skeptical/Disbelief  -Narrowed eyes, sometimes with a sidelong glance or raised eyebrow (Perhaps if I look at it out of the corner of my eye, I will catch it unawares.)  -Rubbing his eyes (I can’t believe what I’m metaphorically or literally seeing!)  -Shaking his head (I—I don’t believe it.)  -Blowing out cheeks (Well , I don’t know …)

Tired  -Rubbing his eyes, eyes staring into space, raised eyebrows (Raising my eyebrows helps keep my eyes open.)  -Yawning and/or stretching (I am tired—see? Tired! Too tired to care!)  -Almost nodding off and jerking awake (Cannot. Stay. Awa—snnnnurzzzz.)  -Gritting teeth to stay awake (Cannot—yawn—dang it!)

Thoughtfulness/Thinking  -Steepling fingers (I will think better if I center myself and focus.)  -Pinching nose, sometimes with closed eyes (Focus, focus—I just need to focus.)  -Tugging on an ear (This will help me remember!)  -Stroking a real or imaginary beard (People with beards look smart.)  -Furrowed brow, narrowed eyes, sometimes tilted head and pressing lips together (I can’t see it—I will try harder!)  -Resting his chin on his hand (Thinking makes my head heavy.)

Triumphant  -Hands clenched and held above head while grimacing (She is invincible!)  -Head tilted back with a yell (She is fierce!)  -Arm pumping in the air, jumping (Woohoo!)

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SPN Parallels: Athletic!Dean

Damon in 2.01:

“You’ve gotta be kidding me”: the rug gets torn out from under him.  He thought Elena kissed him, thought that this was why she believed he was worth saving, because she was in love with him, only to find out all at once that not only is that not what happened, but that it was his first love fooling him again.

“I’m just gonna ignore the bitch”: he plays this off as a strategic move, but he also wants Katherine to feel all the rejection he did when he found out she left him, and, more importantly, he’s just not ready to face her.  He wants to pretend that nothing’s changed, that the main event is still Stefan wanting to fight him about Elena.  Because if he faces up to what’s going on, there’s a choice he has to make, and he wants to pretend like it’s already out of his hands.

“Now I’m hurt”: a day ago, Damon didn’t believe Elena would kiss him.  After he thanks her/Katherine, he kisses her cheek, and it’s only based on her body language communicating obvious willingness that he very very slowly goes in to kiss her on the lips, and he’s shocked that she kisses him back.  But now, the lines of reality are blurring for him - he knows it was Katherine, but believing that Elena kissed him momentarily put their relationship (and his relationship with Stefan) back into categories that he understands.  Everything was clear for him, and now he’s having trouble going back to the more complicated, nuanced world where Elena cares about him and wants him to be saved without being in love with him.  He’s hurt because he can’t remember how to be thankful for her love as it is; all he’s feeling is the loss of what he briefly thought he already possessed.

“Looks like Katherine’s trying to steal your guy, I mean it’s only fair, since I went after your girl”: this dialogue could have come straight out of History Repeating.  Possession, manipulation, revenge: these are Katherine’s categories.  

“I’ll forget everything and we can start over, this can be our defining moment”: although he kisses Katherine rather than kills her, his attempt to recreate the past doesn’t last longer than a couple seconds.  Even when he’s kissing her, he’s not letting her push him around (literally) like she used to - he wants her, wants her love, but on new terms.  He wants them to be equals, partners, wants them to trust each other, because he’s had the smallest taste of what that would be and he can’t go back.  He can’t be who he was, he wants to forgive everything and start over - and in the process, he’s more sweet, innocent Damon than ever before.  He’s asking for a relationship with Katherine - but on Elena’s terms.

“You can’t imagine that I’d believe that you want to, that what we’ve been doing here means something?”: Stefan’s been telling him nothing was real with Katherine for a whole season, Elena’s told him she’s surprised he thought she’d kiss him back, and now he’s had the final confirmation that Katherine never loved him.  Everyone’s trying to strip away the reality he sees and replace it with lies and emptiness.  He’s too afraid to trust Stefan’s offer to stand together, and so he goes back to Elena again, sure that if anyone loves him, she does, but he’s still too fragile for her being his friend to be enough.  He knows it’s not nothing, and so it must be romance, and she must be lying.  

“Lie about this”: he’s asking for a relationship with Elena, on Katherine’s terms.

“You wanna shut out the pain, it’s the easiest thing in the world”: there is nothing left.  Elena, everything he thought was good, has just repeated the killing blow of his worst enemy.  There is no hope, nothing trustworthy, nobody who really cares about him - Stefan, who’s trying to make peace with him, inadvertently took everything from him twice today.  And still Elena thinks he’s better than this, that he should be strong and good enough to just stop wanting her - well, he’ll prove her wrong once and for all.  Maybe he thinks Jeremy will come back as a vampire, maybe he doesn’t - he’s not thinking, he is blind emotion, and he doesn’t want Elena to have any power over him anymore, so he does something he knows she can’t forgive.  But he doesn’t, or can’t, shut out his feelings.  He pushed her away, but now all he feels is his regret for her grief.

G’s Masterlist

Dean Winchester Series

A Secret Something - You and Dean had been best friends ever since you were kids. Now that you were both 18 and your fathers were hunting together more and more often it made sense for you, Dean and Sam to all stay with eachother and attend school while they worked jobs nearby. Two teenagers, best friends, living together, some newfound attraction and two scary hunter dads. What could go wrong?

Love Is Falling - You and Dean go on your first date just as the leaves begin to change, the entirety of fall is spent seeing just how sweet a seasonal romance can really be.

Apple Pie - Unrequited love, it’s a classic story, another is people finding love in a time of tragedy. Sam is gone and Dean promised to go to Lisa but what if he finally reciprocates your feelings? What if your love is based on nothing but a lie?

Jensen Ackles Series

Mr Stranger - It was purely by coincidence that you were paired up with this particular mystery man in a random chat roulette site on a Thursday evening. (Not one of your finer moments) Charming his way into your little life as Mr Stranger how long can you two really keep the anonymity between you?

AU Bingo

Kink Bingo

Fluff Bingo

Oneshots and Drabbles

The Warrior and the Man in the Sky

Hope and Healing

Dread and Desire (MOC!Dean x Reader)

The Dances We Shared

Draw? Draw. (Demon!Dean x Reader)

Family Reunion

Just an accident

Pumpkin

Porn gif drabbles

Good morning sweetheart

What I need

Deans favourite thing (Deans POV)

Use me

Don’t move a muscle

Smile for the camera

Sinful

Stay quiet

Ride me

Comfort and love

A night of firsts

Just one more

Can you call me daddy?

Heaven

Masterlist: Thor Odinson

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Masterlist

Last Updated: 11/15/2018 10:46pm  added “Between The Lines: Part Two”

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Marvel

* = NSFW/NSFW(ish)

Bucky Barnes

Ring Finger - by @bxcknxsty

It’s Snowing - by @kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls

* Inevitable - by @lovelynemesis

* Forbidden - by @placid-parker

Under Arrest - by @propertyofpoeandbucky

* Wild Fire - by @srgntjbarnes

* Little Red Riding Hood Part 1 - by @221bshrlocked

Check You Out - by @theassetseyeliner

Pick Up Lines - by @storiesnobodyreads

* Delicious - by @mcu-peterparker

Flirt - by @soldatbarnes

The Perfect Shot - by @caramell0w

Keep You Safe - by @buckybarnesstar

Loki

* Let’s Play A Game - by @oknstark

Are You Midgardian? - by @77marvelimagines

Jealousy - by @oneshot-shit

* It’s Just Me - by @jinchanyeolstolemysoul

* Fire - by @placid-parker

Waking Up With Loki - by @ofmoonlightandstardust

The Middle of the Night - ^^^

Wonders of Midgard - by @chatnoirwritings

Clint Barton

Imagine Surprising Clint - by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

Late Night Food Run - ^^^

Wanda Maximoff

Simple Mornings - by @supersoldierslover

Drunk In Love - by @baked-bean-bekah

Frank Castle

Sharing Pain Soulmate AU - by @of-badges-and-guns

Car Sex Looks Much Easier in the Movies - by @banditthewriter

Steve Rogers

Will You Be My Princess? - by @ruckystarnes

Clicker - by @pleasecallmecaptain

Dancing With Pre-Serum Steve - by @ofmoonlightandstardust

* Drabble - by @itsbvckybarnes

Sam Giving Steve Dating Advice - by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord 

Thor

Foster Parents - by @occasionalfics

Waves and Snow Cones - by @biebermilkovich

* By A Fruit Bite - by @oknstark

* Sex God - by @placid-parker

Thor Getting Jealous When Loki Flirts With You - by @bonniebird

Thor Being In Love Would Include - by @yeahbutimagine

Tony Stark

First Baby Together - by @middleearth2asgard

Rolling in the Deep - by @caplansteverogers

Erik Lehnsherr

* NSFW Alphabet - by @underratedcharactersimagines

Previous Lists: Marvel | Miscellaneous | Star Trek (Now part of Miscellaneous)

Body Language: Eyes

So I stumbled across this really useful thing which I use for writing and wanted to share it with you all.

(source: changingminds.org)

The eyes are often called, with some justification, ‘the windows of the soul’ as they can send many different non-verbal signals. For reading body language this is quite useful as looking at people’s eyes are a normal part of communication (whilst gazing at other parts of the body can be seen as rather rude). When a person wears dark glasses, especially indoors, this prevents others from reading their eye signals. It is consequently rather disconcerting, which is why ‘gangsters’ and those seeking to appear powerful sometimes wear them.

Looking Up

When a person looks upwards they are often thinking. In particular they are probably making pictures in their head and thus may well be an indicator of a visual thinker.

When they are delivering a speech or presentation, looking up may be their recalling their prepared words.

Looking upwards and to the left can indicate recalling a memory. Looking upwards and the right can indicate imaginative construction of a picture (which can hence betray a liar). Be careful with this: sometimes the directions are reversed — if in doubt, test the person by asking them to recall known facts or imagine something.

Looking up may also be a signal of boredom as the person examines the surroundings in search of something more interesting.

Head lowered and eyes looking back up at the other person is a coy and suggestive action as it combines the head down of submission with eye contact of attraction. It can also be judgemental, especially when combined with a frown.

Looking Down

Looking at a person can be an act of power and domination. Looking down involves not looking at the other person, which hence may be a sign of submission (‘I am not a threat, really; please do not hurt me. You are so glorious I would be dazzled if I looked at you.’)

Looking down can thus be a signal of submission. It can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty.

A notable way that a lower person looks down at a higher person is by tilting their head back. Even taller people may do this.

Looking down and to the left can indicate that they are talking to themselves (look for slight movement of the lips). Looking down and to the right can indicate that they are attending to internal emotions.

In many cultures where eye contact is a rude or dominant signal, people will look down when talking with others in order to show respect.

Looking Sideways

Much of our field of vision is in the horizontal plane, so when a person looks sideways, they are either looking away from what is in front of them or looking towards something that has taken their interest.

A quick glance sideways can just be checking the source of a distraction to assess for threat or interest. It can also be done to show irritation (‘I didn’t appreciate that comment!’).

Looking to the left can indicate a person recalling a sound. Looking to the right can indicate that they are imagining the sound. As with visual and other movements, this can be reversed and may need checking against known truth and fabrication.

Lateral movement

Eyes moving from side-to-side can indicate shiftiness and lying, as if the person is looking for an escape route in case they are found out.

Lateral movement can also happen when the person is being conspiratorial, as if they are checking that nobody else is listening.

Eyes may also move back and forth sideways (and sometimes up and down) when the person is visualizing a big picture and is literally looking it over.

Gazing

Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table or a person. When you look at something, then others who look at your eyes will feel compelled to follow your gaze to see what you are looking at. This is a remarkable skill as we are able to follow a gaze very accurately.

When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye level or above (see eye contact, below). The gaze can also be a defocused looking at the general person.

Looking at a person’s mouth can indicate that you would like to kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicates a desire to have sexual relations with them.

Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (notice where the gaze lingers). This can be quite insulting and hence indicate a position of presumed dominance, as the person effectively says ‘I am more powerful than you, your feelings are unimportant to me and you will submit to my gaze’.

Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is ‘inside their head’ thinking about other things.

The power gaze is a short but intense gaze that is used to impose one’s will on another, showing power without aggression.

It is difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at identifying exactly where other people are looking. This is one reason why we have larger eye whites than animals, as it aids complex communication.

People who are lying may look away more often as they feel guilty when looking at others. However, when they know this, they may over-compensate by looking at you for longer than usual. This also helps them watch your body language for signs of detection.

The acceptable duration of a gaze varies with culture and sometimes even a slight glance is unacceptable, such as between genders or by a lower status person.

Non-visual gaze patterns (NVGPs) involve rapid movements (saccades) and fixations while we are ‘inside our heads’, thinking. Rapid movements happen more when we are accessing long-term memory and fixations more when we are accessing working memory. This is useful to detect whether people are thinking about older events or recent events (or old events that are already brought to working memory).

Glancing

Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for example glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave.

Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk with them. It can also indicate a concern for that person’s feeling when something is said that might upset them.

Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period.

Glancing sideways at a person with raised eyebrows can be a sign of attraction. Without the raised eyebrow it is more likely to be disapproval.

Eye Contact

Eye contact between two people is a powerful act of communication and may show interest, affection or dominance.

Doe Eyes

A softening of the eyes, with relaxing of muscles around the eye and a slight defocusing as the person tries to take in the whole person is sometimes called doe eyes, as it often indicates sexual desire, particularly if the gaze is prolonged and the pupils are dilated (see below). The eyes may also appear shiny.

Making Eye Contact

Looking at a person acknowledges them and shows that you are interested in them, particularly if you look in their eyes.

Looking at a person’s eyes also lets you know where they are looking. We are amazingly good at detecting what they are looking at and can detect even a brief glance at parts of our body, for example.

If a person says something when you are looking away and then you make eye contact, then this indicates they have grabbed your attention.

Breaking eye contact

Prolonged eye contact can be threatening, so in conversation we frequently look away and back again.

Breaking eye contact can indicate that something that has just been said that makes the person not want to sustain eye contact, for example that they are insulted, they have been found out, they feel threatened, etc. This can also happen when the person thinks something that causes the same internal discomfort. Of course, a break in eye contact can also be caused by something as simple as dried out contacts or any new stimulus in one’s immediate area, so it’s important to watch for other signals.

Looking at a person, breaking eye contact and then looking immediately back at them is a classic flirting action, particularly with the head held coyly low in suggested submission.

Long eye contact

Eye contact longer than normal can have several different meanings.

Eye contact often increases significantly when we are listening, and especially when we are paying close attention to what the other person is saying. Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are visual thinkers as they stare into the distance or upwards as they ‘see’ what they are talking about.

We also look more at people we like and like people who look at us more. When done with doe eyes and smiles, it is a sign of attraction. Lovers will stare into each others eyes for a long period. Attraction is also indicated by looking back and forth between the two eyes, as if we are desperately trying to determine if they are interested in us too.

An attraction signal that is more commonly used by women is to hold the other person’s gaze for about three seconds, Then look down for a second or two and then look back up again (to see if they have taken the bait). If the other person is still looking at them, they are rewarded with a coy smile or a slight widening of the eyes (‘Yes, this message is for you!’).

When done without blinking, contracted pupils and an immobile face, this can indicate domination, aggression and use of power. In such circumstances a staring competition can ensue, with the first person to look away admitting defeat.

Prolonged eye contact can be disconcerting. A trick to reduce stress from this is to look at the bridge of their nose. They will think you are still looking in their eyes.

Sometimes liars, knowing that low eye contact is a sign of lying, will over-compensate and look at you for a longer than usual period. Often this is done without blinking as they force themselves into this act. They may smile with the mouth, but not with the eyes as this is more difficult.

Limited eye contact

When a person makes very little eye contact, they may be feeling insecure. They may also be lying and not want to be detected.

In persuasion

Eye contact is very important for persuasion. If you look at the other person and they do not look back at you, then their attention is likely elsewhere. Even if they hear you, the lack of eye contact reduces the personal connection.

If you want to persuade or change minds, then the first step is to gain eye contact and then sustain it with regular reconnection.

Staring

Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates particular interest in something or someone.

Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbelief, particularly after hearing unexpected news.

When the eyes are defocused, the person’s attention may be inside their head and what they are staring at may be of no significance. (Without care, this can become quite embarrassing for them).

Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate or deceptive and is discussed further above. Staring at another’s eyes is usually more associated with aggressive action.

A short stare, with eyes wide open and then back to normal indicates surprise. The correction back to normal implies that the person would like to stare more, but knows it is impolite (this may be accompanied with some apologetic text).

When a person stares at another, then the second person may be embarrassed and look away. If they decide to stare back, then the people ‘lock eyes’ and this may become a competition with the loser being the person who looks away first.

The length of an acceptable stare varies across cultures, as does who is allowed to stare, and at what. Babies and young children stare more, until they have learned the cultural rules.

Following

The eyes will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person is looking at something of interest then they will naturally keep looking at this. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into a threat.

This is used when sales people move something like a pen or finger up and down, guiding where the customer looks, including to eye contact and to parts of the product being sold.

Squinting

Narrowing of a person’s eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps considering that something told to them is not true (or at least not fully so).

Squinting can also indicate uncertainty (‘I cannot quite see what is meant here.’)

Narrowing eyes has a similar effect to constricted pupils in creating a greater depth of field so you can see more detail. This is used by animals when determining distance to their prey and can have a similar aggressive purpose.

Squinting can be used by liars who do not want the other person to detect their deception.

When a person thinks about something and does not want to look at the internal image, they may involuntarily squint.

Squinting can also happen when lights or the sun are bright.

Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar meaning. It can also indicate tiredness.

Lowering eyelids whilst still looking at the other person can be a part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing back the head and slightly puckering the lips in a kiss.

Blinking

Blinking is a neat natural process whereby the eyelids wipe the eyes clean, much as a windscreen wiper on a car.

Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more or are feeling stressed. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their eyes open and appear to stare.

Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected may blink at the same rate. Someone who is listening carefully to you is more likely to blink when you pause (keeping eyes open to watch everything you say).

Beyond natural random blinking, a single blink can signal surprise that the person does not quite believe what they see (‘I’ll wipe my eyes clean to better see’).

Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying ‘I am so important, I do not need to see you’.

Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy romantic invitation.

Reduced blinking increases the power of a stare, whether it is romantic or dominant in purpose.

Winking

Closing one eye in a wink is a deliberate gesture that often suggests conspiratorial (‘You and I both understand, though others do not’).

Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is reminiscent of a small wave of the hand (‘Hello there, gorgeous!’).

Closing

Closing the eyes shuts out the world. This can mean ‘I do not want to see what is in front of me, it is so terrible’.

Sometimes when people are talking they close their eyes. This is an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored.

Visual thinkers may also close their eyes, sometimes when talking, so they can better see the internal images without external distraction.

Damp

The tear ducts provide moisture to the eyes, both for washing them and for tears.

Damp eyes can be suppressed weeping, indicating anxiety, fear or sadness. It can also indicate that the person has been crying recently.

Dampness can also occur when the person is tired (this may be accompanied by redness of the eyes.

Tears

Actual tears that roll down the cheeks are often a symptom of extreme fear or sadness, although paradoxically you can also weep tears of joy.

Weeping can be silent, with little expression other than the tears (indicating a certain amount of control). It also typically involves screwing up of the face and, when emotions are extreme, can be accompanied by uncontrollable, convulsive sobs.

Men in many culture are not expected to cry and learn to suppress this response, not even being able to cry when alone. Even if their eyes feel damp they may turn away.

Tears and sadness may be transformed into anger, which may be direct at whoever is available.

Pupil Size

A subtle signal that is sometimes detected only subconsciously and is seldom realized by the sender is where the pupil gets larger (dilates) or contracts.

Sexual desire is a common cause of pupil dilation, and is sometimes called ‘doe eyes’ or ‘bedroom eyes’ (magazine pictures sometimes have deliberately doctored eyes to make a model look more attractive). When another person’s eyes dilate we may be attracted further to them and our eyes dilate in return. Likewise, when their pupils are small, ours may well contract also.

A fundamental cause of eye dilation is cognitive effort. When we are thinking more, our eyes dilate. This helps explain ‘doe eyes’ as when we like others people, looking at them leads to significant thinking about how we may gain and sustain their attention.

Pupils dilate also when it is darker to let in more light. Perhaps this is why clubs, bars, restaurants and other romantic venues are so dingy.

People with dark irises (the colored circle around the pupil) can look attractive because it is difficult to distinguish the iris from the pupil, with the effect is that their dark pupils look larger than they are. People with light irises make the pupils easier to see, so when their pupils actually do dilate then the signal is clearer to detect, making them more attractive ‘at the right time’.

The reverse of this is that pupils contract when we do not like the other person, perhaps in an echo of squint-like narrowing of the eyes. People with small pupils can hence appear threatening or just unpleasant.

Rubbing

When a person is feeling uncomfortable, the eyes may water a little. To cover this and try to restore an appropriate dryness, they person may rub their eye and maybe even feign tiredness or having something in the eye. This also gives the opportunity to turn the head away.

The rubbing may be with one finger, with a finger and thumb (for two eyes) or with both hands. The more the coverage, the more the person is trying to hide behind the hands.