Modern Margo & Sergei

Oh, my God. That’s… beautiful. It really is. Identical on both sides.

Reminds me of New Girl's Jessica Day in the episode "Table 34", after she has kissed Nick:

"He just, like, grabbed me and he took me. He was a man and I was a woman, and it was firm but tender. Yea, I saw through space and time for a minute, but that's not the point."

I'd include other words like: devour, release, and vibrant desire in there somewhere, though.

I would like you to kiss me.

One of the biggest issues of moving to England as a person who is Ukrainian AND neurodivergent is not knowing how to answer the small talk question of "how are you", but today I was reminded that Ukrainian blessed me with the phrase that roughly translates as "living is hard but dying would be a pity" and can we please naturalise it so I can use it all day every day

This idea will live rent free in my head.

I just want to see them happily retiring together, with him as a Battlestar Commander turned househusband, and her as the Secretary of Education, a working wife. Then, years later, a party asks her to run for presidency, and she gets elected, and they become the unstoppable power couple they are.

(Also not me, trying to write a fanfic where they first meet at the Galactica decommissioning ceremony and then fall in love. Adar regrets losing her, especially to an aging soldier he deems unworthy and socially inferior.

He even insults them, saying she's playing a matador, messing around with a Tauron bull, and trying to SA her. But she punches him in the face (because Bill taught her boxing skill), and it's all caught on camera. Suddenly, she's the talk of the town, praised for defending herself against assault and becomes the new face of #metoo.

And Tauron people all become fans of her because she chose to defend her Tauron partner and chose him over the frakking President of the Twelve Colonies himself. And baby Kyliegh Curran as Lenore Usher, may or may not be their granddaughter from Lee and Dee, who's so close to and loved by her grandparents <3

But since English isn't my first language and I'm so busy with work and adulthood, I don't even know if I could find time to continue drafting this shite. I just love Roslin x Adama in AUs without the attack soooo sooo bad.)

This is for @burritoagain , whose ask I accidentally deleted while flailing on mobile 😅

Happy new year! Your card is the Queen of Wands.

Wands are the suit of passion and creativity, and the Queen represents the feminine side of those things. She takes the perspective of a mature, wise woman, looking inward at the thoughts and feelings that come with this fiery, spirited energy. This year brings opportunities to deepen your creativity - not in terms of output, but in how you experience the process. Let yourself embody her good-natured, enthusiastic approach to all your endeavors.

Fic Teaser: Chapter 3 of "Last Call"

(Chapters 1 & 2 on Ao3 here.)

It wasn’t as though she’d never thought about the idea of asking Sergei to defect before.

It had been a small, secret dream, one she’d only rarely let herself indulge in. Him agreeing to come to NASA. Them working side by side, every day, to send humanity further out into the solar system, to Mars and beyond. Them being able to build a real life together. To be together.

But Margo had allowed herself to imagine this only rarely because she had always known it was impossible.

Almost the first thing Sergei said to her, in the first real conversation they’d ever had, was that he would never defect. Until now, she’d never seen enough reason to believe that may have changed. Leaving his home, his country, his entire life behind, for her – it was far too much to ever actually ask of him.

But, he’d said at the same time, he was given a long leash because of his superiors’ knowledge that he would never defect. The leash had been severely tightened, now, if what Sergei had told her tonight could be believed. So, would his openness to the idea of defecting also have changed?

Margo still wasn’t sure how much of what he’d told her tonight could be believed. She’d learned that he had been betraying her trust for years. And yet she found herself still wanting to trust him, now.

Could Sergei still just be lying to her even now, about all of it? Just using her for his government’s ends? If that was the case, then maybe getting her to believe he was in danger, so she would keep him close to her, bring him back to the United States with her, was exactly what they wanted.

Rationally, Margo knew she had to consider this a possibility, but in her heart, she rejected it. The guilt and shame, the pain and fear that she had seen and heard from him tonight — it all felt too real. Though, of course, everything about their connection had always felt real, for the past nine years.

She simply wasn’t going to be able to be sure about all of it. Not tonight, at least. She didn’t have enough time. She had to make a choice anyway. And if she chose to let him go, the risk was too great to bear. Rational or not, Margo knew that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if Sergei’s life was in danger and she failed to save him.

Keeping him close to her, in the way she used to want, would now have to be out of the question, of course. If he defected and came to NASA, she would have to set strict professional terms for their new working relationship. He was a brilliant engineer who’d be very valuable to NASA; that much couldn’t be faked, and that was how she would have to learn to see him now. Any personal feelings and former hopes would need to be put aside, left behind, buried in the rubble of everything that had fallen apart in this one horrible night. Margo didn’t want to think about how difficult a task that still seemed to be. She would do it, because it would be necessary.

She’d stayed silent for too long, by then. Sergei spoke again, softly.

“Margo. I know I have no right to ask you to do anything, or even to suggest. But, what do you think of what I said before? Will you go home to Houston as soon as you can tomorrow? Get away from the KGB here and, and try to keep yourself safe?”

She looked up at him. “No.”

Sergei frowned at her, but she cut him off before he could reply.

“Sergei, I mean what I said about getting us out of this. It’s obviously not safe for you to go home. So, I’m wondering if …” She took a deep breath. This was the only option. Out with it.

“Would you consider defecting to the United States? If you came to work for NASA, you’d be an incredible asset, and I know I’m not the only one who’d see it that way. There are people I could talk to, and, I know it could all be arranged.”

To her surprise, he smiled a little.

“I have dreamed that you might ask me this one day, Margo.”

He had?

His smile faded. “But, no. No, it can’t be. If I defect, the KGB would retaliate against my family, I am sure. I won’t leave them.”

*insert bat signal*

In For All Mankind's season three episode "All In" there is a sequence that I'm sure you all are not familiar with at all.

Two characters share increasingly intimate moments (especially for them), in an elevator. After a rewatch (I'm sure noone has done this), I think I saw something, but I need more perspectives.

Query: In 1988, does Margo slip out of her shoes for part of an elevator ride?

Please check my math, because it looks like she does. It matters naught, it's just every time I watch I kinda do a doubletake.

“You cannot go back there, Margo.”

Margo shifted on her feet. The life raft she had built to survive eight long years in the Soviet Union was quickly revealing itself to be not quite seaworthy.

Each revelation surged a wave that threatened to overwhelm her raft–the disdain of the people at NASA, the reveal of Irina’s mechanizations throughout both their lives, Sergei’s presence in Houston, and damn him, the care he offered her in his steadfast gaze.

This raft she built of necessity was based only on the work–her love of space and engineering. Now in Houston with Sergei standing in front of her it was laughable to think she could survive based only upon it. But then, back in the Soviet Union, that’s all she had. For eight years she subsisted on dreams of space alone, and finally, things began to change and she got to realize her dream only for it to all crash– Margo began to waver on her feet as she made new calculations about her life.

“Margo,” Sergei exhaled as he started forward, his hands outstretched to grasp her arms and steady her. Disheartened, she let him comfort her. She felt distinct and utterly unsalvageable ruptures form in her raft.

Margo wanted to break eye contact with him, to look anywhere else but she was as starved for him as she was for the rest of it. She tried to steady her breathing and recenter herself to work her newest and thorniest of problems.

She was as yet torn between wanting to cry, puke or laugh at what she had misunderstood yet again. Breaking through her racing thoughts were Sergei’s warm hands rubbing reassuringly on her forearms. She sighed and he released some breath of his own. She nodded and his hands drifted down to hold her hands. His eyes darkened from concern to a deeper longing.

“Please, Margo, come sit with me.” Sergei gestured with a jut of his head toward his car.

She nodded quickly and briefly tightened her own hold on him as he ushered her to the passenger seat. When he shut the car door to round the car and slide into the driver’s seat, Margo let her head drop into her hands.

“What now, Sergei?” Margo asked despondently.

“Now we find our way out,” Sergei responded firmly.

He looked her over closely; observed her gray hair, her wrist bandage, and her firmly buttoned-up presentation. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and never let her go again. God, he had missed her. He had mourned her and now here she was in his car inches away, as beautiful as ever.

Margo released another sigh and straightened, offering an exhausted default,“Sure, let’s work the problem.”

She turned slightly towards him to take a closer look at the man she had desperately tried to save. The last eight years had agreed with him and he looked as handsome as ever. Her scrutiny did not go unnoticed and he smiled warmly at her. Margo extended a hand to brush his cheek and touch his smile.

"I missed that smile,” she whispered as he turned in her grasp and kissed her palm.

Her heart thudded in her chest as he brought her hand down to intertwine with his over the console between them.

“And I missed you. Margo…” Sergei broke off, and what further he wanted to say died in his throat as they simply stared at each other.

Margo broke eye contact and pulled her hands away, trying to reign in her emotions and run-away thoughts. Without her raft, she was in danger of saying and doing things she knew she couldn't afford to embrace.

“I'm here to help capture an asteroid and usher in a new age for life on Earth,” she said with growing determination. “We will succeed. Nothing can jeopardize that.”

Sergei turned in his seat to face her straight on. Nonplussed, he replied, “And when you have achieved this, what do you think will happen then?”

Margo opened her mouth to argue that Irina had promised her the outer solar system–hell, the deeper cosmos–but nothing came out.

“Your usefulness is only ever an illusion, Margo, as brilliant as you are,” Sergei continued more gently. “A trick, and a brutal one.”

Margo closed her eyes, squeezing them shut lest a tear escape. “Take me back to the hotel, please,” she asked softly.

Sergei broached contact once more, reaching forward to caress and gently turn her face to his. Margo relented and opened her eyes to be met with a face full of concern for her.

“We can navigate this, Margo, it will be treacherous but we will find a way. For both of us.” Sergei squeezed her hand before turning on his car.

Soft jazz filled the car as he pulled out of Franks and headed towards her hotel. Sensing how overwhelmed she was, he kept silent as he drove across Houston. It wasn't to be a long trip, so he took her hand with his and held it until he parked a discrete distance away from her hotel.

Silence returned to the car when he shut it off. The air was heavy, like the rains were shortly returning. A handy cover for her to sneak into the hotel, but a heavier portent for the future.

Margo couldn't as yet see any way forward other than work the asteroid. Her track record on manoeuvring escapes was dreadful and left only wreckage behind.

“I will be here for you, Margo, and I have a plan to get us out,” Sergei began, interrupting her thoughts.

Margo cut him off with a sharp look and a quick exhale.

“Thank you, Sergei, for… coming to see me. It is good to see you,” the words painfully exited her chest, “we can work together on the asteroid; I know I will need your help, but…” Margo wasn't quite sure how to tell him that there was no possible future for them, that his optimism and hope were a brutal illusion of their own.

Sergei interrupted her ramble and cradled her head with both hands. Pulling her gently towards him, he rested his head against hers. “You appeared. Out of nowhere. A dream so impossible. Let me-let us-dream the impossible. My grief for you left me with an empty heart, and yet it disappears with the reality of you. I am no longer numb or in wonder at my desolation. I have outlasted the storm and so have you.”

Margo exhaled slowly and closed the last distance between them. Pressing her lips to his, she kissed him softly. Breaking the kiss she rested her head gently against his.

“They called me Margaret Reynolds,” she whispered with a strained mirth.

“Sergei Bezuko,” he whispered back encouragingly.

At that shared absurdity the car was briefly filled with giggles. Sobriety returned along with the rain as it splattered the car. They both moved to embrace the other tightly.

“We can do both, Margo,” Sergei tried to reassure her.

“We will talk more about that,” Margo said, forestalling further talk of the future beyond the asteroid capture, “But, I need to get back. I'll message you through Aleida.”

Margo loosened her hold on Sergei, and he resisted the end of their embrace only briefly. He held her hands as he gazed at her, trying to memorize her in this moment.

“I will be here for you,” he said and pressed a kiss to her hands.

Margo nodded and with one last squeeze of his hands, she opened her car door and disappeared into the rain.

--

Notes! Mwhaha. I just want them to touch more. 😉 Also, I bastardized Pushkin there at the end there.

#when bae looks spiffy

Sergei awoke mid dream. It was beautiful. Sunlight bathed him, but the source of light warming his body was his hand intertwined with Margo's. He caressed her fingers, soft skin over delicate bones. The smooth skin and strong fingers of a mathematician.

Sergei rubbed his fingers together, trying to conjure the feeling of her hands and fingers caressing his. Chagrined at his indulgence, he smiled nevertheless. She was the thought behind his smiles these days.

He checked his watch for the time, he had forty minutes. Standing from his desk he stretched his back and then shrugged into his coat. Nodding to remnant staff and security, Sergei made a smooth exit.

He easily managed a solemn facade as he made his way to his appointment, but inside he was beaming. When he began walking to the phone booth, his battle to keep a straight face was lost.

He noted little of his cold surroundings, instead focused on his destination. A smile quirked at the corners of his mouth and his pace quickened. Sergei checked his watch again and adjusted his pace, slowing down.

His mind was buzzing with idle questions: how was she doing, what would she think of his latest record selection, what new detail of her life would he learn about. Other thoughts, pernicious though they were, he shoved aside. He was a practiced and careful party man; he could hold two opposing ideas in his head easily. Yes, the KGB needed him to work Margo for information, but he also wanted to do right by her as a friend.

When he got to the phone booth, he checked his watch again. Stepping inside, he closed the door and waited. The phone startled him from his musing.

He eagerly picked up the phone, “Hello?”

“Sergei! How are ya?” Came a smooth southern drawl.

“Margo! I'm cold, but well. You?” Sergei couldn't keep the smile out of his voice. Pleased to hear from her as ever.

“What record should I expect today,” came an eager reply.