Follow The Bread Trail

Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing to do is shovel shit from a sitting position.

STEPHEN KING (via kadrey)

"You got vampire lore wrong in your story because real vampires do this and that" Buddy I have terrible news about all of vampires. Heartbreaking news. Worst news you're gonna hear all day.

I went to the Marvel: Universe of Super Heroes exhibit and wanted to share for anyone who has not seen it. I am under the impression that the installation changes from location to location so I wanted to show this snapshot in time. I fully admit to being biased in what I will post so if you want to see a particular character, please let me know! Apologies ahead of time for my crappy photo taking skills.

🔴⚪️🔴⚪️🔴

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Bucky did not have a dedicated section and his items were spread out between Steve, Sam, and Natasha's displays. He didn't even have a character plaque! 😭😭😭 The one solace I take is that the people squealing in excitement at seeing his items were the most enthusiastic.

The image above is a production art for the Captain America: The Winter Soldier closing sequence.

I may or may not have gasped and babbled like a lunatic when I saw this. I love Wakanda Bucky and took way too many pictures. Just knowing that Sebastian wore this made me feel so emotional. 😭😭😭 But I was wondering why the sign said it was from The Winter Soldier instead of Infinity War or Endgame. The shield is from Age of Ultron.

There was a small monitor showing production images and I was absolutely thrilled to see these pictures of Sebastian in the costume test shots. That first pose is hilarious! Also just loving his long hair! I'm sorry for the poor image quality but this was the best I could do in a dark room.

This was part of Steve’s installation but Bucky was definitely a big part of it. I'm actually digging the domino mask that he wears in the comic books!

I wish there had been more Bucky content in the exhibit but it was still pretty amazing to see his costume up-close. I would love to see his Winter Soldier outfit someday!

You can make a difference. Please help with a forever home.

15 years of Sebastian Stan (2006-2020)

Trying to take back myself

Well, I haven't been looking on Tumblr for months now much less posted anything. A short while after my last post (back in October 2010) I was unexpectedly released by my Master. It was a complete blindside for me. When I had talked to him on Friday things were fine. Monday morning he released me.

I do understand his reasons and they had nothing to do with *me* but with his immediate family situation. Yes, I did know what had been going on with it but he didn't give me any idea that he was going to so abruptly make this decision. So no real warning at all for it for me. And it was while I was at work. By YahooIM. 

It's been THIS long (now the beginning of March 2011) for me to really realize just how badly hurt I was and the extent of the affect it has had on me. And the affect it is having on my other relationships. 

It completely shattered my self confidence and ability to trust or be secure in a relationship. I've been a neurotic mess for months. I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who has been trying to help me as well as a Dom I was allowed to still play with by my ex-Master who was also a good friend, and has become one of my best friends by this time. They both didn't let me curl up in my bed and completely draw away from everything to do with the lifestyle. I love them both beyond words for everything they've done for me and all their patience with me through the past months.

Now, I'm *finally* in a place with myself that I am starting what is I'm sure will be a long road to rebuild myself and my confidence in myself so that I can be happy again and a less neurotic train wreck. (hey, I'm not perfect! I'm sure I'll still have my bad days.) It's a daunting thing to consider how much work I think I'll be needing to do to get my confidence back, but it will be worth it. For me and for them. We will all be happier. I have absolutely no doubt about that. 

So, as part of remaking myself I am going to be taking my Tumblr back for myself as well. I had set it up for myself and it turned into something I did for the ex. I'm sure I'll end up posting things having to do with what I want done to me by my friend who is also now my Dominant as well. 

I've gone back and forth over removing my past posts having directly to do with the ex. But (at least for now) have decided not to. They were part of my life at that time so while I might not want to think about it right now, they are a good reminder of the things I am capable of. At least, what I'm capable of when I'm a whole person and not the badly damaged mess I still am right now.

I will get back to the person I was then and be the better for it as well since I am now going to have a better understanding of myself through having to identify and rebuild the damaged parts of myself. I will have a better foundation for my sense of self and confidence. 

So while this sucks sweaty dirty donkey balls right now and I'm sure will for some time, I want myself back. I used to generally *like* myself. I don't right now. I don't like the person I've become. So I will fix it. The process will probably be quite unpleasant at times, but I want to like myself again and be happy with who I am. 

And I will.

GUYS GUYS GUYS I AM NOT OKAY. IM GOING FERALLLLLLLLLL AHRHGFAHDOUHDLHBBDLIHBLKJBNMJKLSKH

Last week I sent this to my current Master and asked if he would do this to me. Unfortunately he won't be here until the first week of August. Sigh. Such a long time.

Well, I'm sure I'll be able to come across more fun pictures of things I want him to do to me that I can send in the meantime...

(via willingsubmission, tomsmith65)

Something about the way the plates of his metal arm shift when he moves is so hot. Sue me.