Bumblingtool - Untitled

ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIDEOS EVER

No, dude, I'm warning you, don't insult a wizard, no matter how stupid you think their title or specialty is.

I once knew a guy named Paul, we'd adventured together once or twice, and one time we met this guy - Piss Wizard Carloso, they called him - and Paul, he thought that was funny. Simply hilarious. "Is that your magic or your kink?" Paul taunted, "The fuck kind of magic does a "Piss Wizard" do? Am I supposed to be scared?"

So Carloso cast Infinite Piss on him. And Paul just started pissing, everywhere. He couldn't stop, couldn't even control it. But it wasn't a normal piss, it was exactly as the wizard described. It wouldn't end. He was pissing for half an hour straight.

I watched his body shrivel up like a raisin as all the liquid left him in a never-ending stream. Our healer was useless, whole party was screaming. We knew he was dying, we could see him basically get mummified in real time. He didn't even have enough bodily fluid left to cry.

We couldn't find a curse breaker in time. So yeah. I get it. Guy calls himself "The Plush Rump Wizard", and you want to laugh. You think, surely this guy can't be serious? But I assure you, he is. That's a wizard's whole shtick. They mock you, they mock God, they mock the very notion of there being a line between serious and parody.

Don't insult a wizard.

[I was born stupid. But I will not die hungry!]

How small and miserable we are, deluding us that we are large and powerful. We only remain microbes that aspire to control both nature and the entire universe. Who knows if one day we will be able to understand how insignificant we are in the entire space ....

Devastating to have more evidence that done IS better than perfect

btw if you're on mobile and you want to play a youtube video without ads, download the firefox mobile browser, add the ublock extension, and go to the youtube mobile website from there. firefox mobile will even give you background play and picture in picture if you make the video full screen and then hit the home button, which for both you would usually need youtube premium for even on the app. stay saucy out there! and remember, pirating makes your butt look good

if parks and rec was still being made they’d do a bit where ron swanson has to wear a pronouns name tag and it’d just be “???/???” And it’d cut to a talking head of him going

“I’ve been a fool all this time. It’s bad enough the government knows my name, but now they want to know my gender? So I’m not letting them know my preferred pronouns. As far as I’m concerned, no one in this building should refer to me at all.”