distracted at work
The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
The “put on a persona” method.
The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
The “wait for a trigger” method.
The “do it for your future self” method.
The “might as well” method.
The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
The “make it easy” method.
The “junebugging” method.
The “just show up” method.
The “accept when you need help” method.
The “make it into a game” method.
The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
The “trick yourself” method.
The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
The “let go of should” method.
The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
The “fork theory” method.
The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
sitting here. unkissed. when will it end
Just after dusk the birds go silent.
🌘🪶🦇♥️
Non-phone camera version under the cut
Actual 9 year old Dick Grayson, strapped into his booster seat, currently throwing a fit in the Batmobile because he ate all the elephants out of his animal crackers, “Zitka nooooooo!”
Batman, 22 year old new father, on the phone with Alfred because he has no idea if this is normal or trauma, “whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoidohewontstopcryinghelpmeplease”
wish i could call in bitchy to work
Love the idea of the batfam all being equally unhinged like Tim calls dick every two days with “why’d you take the cameras I use to stalk you down :(“ Dick is always placing trackers on everyone, Bruce just fucking shows up and watches his kids go about their daily lives, Jason’s got eyes all over the city to ping him if someone matching his families description pops up, Barbra is always listening and watching like love that shit
Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.
Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.
Red Hood: oh shit really?
Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!
Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.
~
Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:
~
Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-
Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!
the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.
Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.
Roy:
Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet
Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.
Fuck yeah it has
Bug || 22 they/them || pure chaos + lots of neurodivergent and Batman shit
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