*kicks My Feet Playfully Whilst Lying On My Front And Lining Up My Sniper Rifle*

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

What if we told you we've combined your favourite cotton sweatshirts with your favourite super adorable strawberry milk design for the cutest sweatshirt ever?! 🐮🍓💕

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Reminder that you're actually interesting. Your hobbies are interesting, your interests are interesting, you are important and loveable and people appreciate you. You're just a loveable, interesting person.

he pretends to be too tired to walk to get batman to carry him to the batmobile

and then spends the next hour cartwheeling around while batman tries to write reports

*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

Add another one to the list of hilarious examples of why generative AI doesn't produce correct answers, just statistically likely ones.

(Customers asked for how-to videos, which the company doesn't have. The AI chatbot decided that a million internet users linking to this video after similar requests couldn't be wrong.)

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

Bee and Puppycat is like something out of a psychedelic Adventure Time Lofi fall beats stream with the most obscure random humor

I love it

goodnight to people who are unable to run goodnight to people who used to be known for 'running/skipping' everywhere until it became far too painful and dangerous goodnight to people who have a walking gait that shows deformity and 'disturbs others' goodnight to people who have limbs that 'move wrong' goodnight to people who walk with a limp goodnight to people who stumble and fall goodnight to people who use a mobility aid goodnight to people who use elevators goodnight to people who use shower-chairs goodnight to people who use ramps

I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth