Wait. Oh God.

idk moodboard

the way i gasped- i'm in love

technically a wip but more long hair fem zoro

the smiler.png

everyone say thank you nami 🎽

I love this fic so much

i just need more time to be loved by you (zoro x reader)

req: Could you please do a Zoro x reader (fem or gn)  where the reader is trying to plan a surprise thing for him and has been hanging around Sanji more to help get stuff prepared and in the process accidentally is ignoring Zoro. Zoro starts to worry that he isn't romantic or affectionate enough like Sanji and will loose the reader to him. Maybe Zoro even starts purposefully avoiding the reader like the mindset of 'if we don't talk I can't be broken up with'. Idk hurt comfort please make me cry but end nice 🩷

a/n: ngl i rubbed my hands together like a raccoon or smth when i was brainstorming for this req bc i’m just a sucker for hurt/comfort that isn’t dramatic hehe anyway thanks for 100 followers! :D i’ve been having a great time writing for one piece these past few weeks, everyone has been so kind :3c

contents: some suggestive content (16+ only ty!), insecure! jealous!Zoro, suspicions of cheating (but no actual cheating ofc), miscommunication, hurt/comfort and reverse comfort, angst to fluff

wc. 3.9k

wanna be on my taglist?

i. 

for the first time in over a year, Zoro wakes up in an empty bed.

the absence of a familiar weight resting on his chest nearly startles him awake, his brain skipping over the initial first few minutes of grogginess most feel when they’ve just woken up. he runs his hands over your side of the mattress before crawling over it just enough to check if you’re on the floor. 

it dawns on him, in that moment, that this is the first time you’ve gotten up and left before him since you began seeing each other. usually Zoro would be the one waking up at the break of dawn to get some early morning training in, always carefully taking a few minutes to lift your sleeping form off his body and place you back on your assigned end of the bed without waking you. it never seems to matter if you went to bed cuddling or not, somehow, throughout the night, you always find your way on top of him.

setting aside the foreign feeling in his stomach, Zoro decides to go look for you–he tells himself he’s just curious about the reason for your absence but the part he won’t admit is that he just misses seeing you first thing in the morning. 

it doesn’t take him long to find you, catching a glimpse of your back when he’s walking past the open kitchen door. before he can decide to get your attention, however, Zoro realises you’re not alone.

in front of a counter upon which is laid half-used utensils and uncooked ingredients stands you and the crew’s one and only chef. you’re both deeply engaged in a conversation spoken in a volume low enough that the swordsman can barely make out any of the words. he does, however, notice that you’re wearing Sanji’s favourite apron–it’s a tad too long for someone of your height, or maybe the stupid chef just has freakishly long legs, who knows? –and it causes his heart to stir in a way he struggles to describe to even himself.

if Zoro had to choose a past feeling that comes the closest to comparing, it would have to be when he’d challenged Dracule Mihawk to a duel and lost.

“oh, no, my sweet,” Sanji finally says something loud enough for Zoro to hear from behind the two of you. “you’d want to pinch it more than just squish it,” he continues before repositioning himself behind you to demonstrate. it’s hard to see exactly what the two of you are doing but it’s clear to the swordsman that the pervert chef’s most likely cupping your hands in his to guide your movement with whatever dish you’re seemingly making together.

Zoro isn’t surprised that you don’t try to push Sanji away in any capacity, not due to any lack of trust between him and you but because you’ve always been a very physically affectionate person. it was one of his first impressions of you when you joined the crew at the behest of Luffy. it was common on the Merry–and still is on the Sunny–to see you hugging, holding the hands or even kissing the cheeks of your companions in the most platonic sense. it’s just the way you show your happiness.

although every bone in Zoro’s body is screaming at him to storm in and tear Sanji away from you, a sudden realisation washing over him roots his feet to the ground.

is this what you actually need from me? if i touch you more, would you need it less from the others?

the swordsman can’t help but recall how just last night you’d kept bugging him for pre-sleep cuddles but he pushed your needy hands away every time.

“it’s too hot and humid tonight for that,” he grumbled after you frowned at his rejection.

“you’ve been saying that for the past two weeks,” you whined, wiggling around your side of the bed in protest.

“well, too bad the weather’s just been too hot. it’s not my fault.” he shrugged. when your frown only deepened, he decided to give you a few forehead kisses as compensation. “now stop being a brat and go to sleep.” 

Zoro walks away from the kitchen, opting to leave you and the chef alone; and wonders if you would’ve been in bed this morning when he woke up had he caved in and given you the cuddles you so wanted just last night.

he only sees you again when the sun’s started to set and all of the Straw Hats begin to gather for dinner. instead of taking your usual seat beside him, you end up serving him a plate of onigiri with a wide grin on your face instead.

“here’s your serving, my love,” you say with a satisfied hum that only serves to confuse the man. surely these are just the usual onigiri Sanji occasionally makes for meals, right? “how does it taste?” you ask after he takes a bite.

it tastes richer today and the rice is fluffier.

“it tastes the same as always.” the swordsman shrugs, physically incapable of praising anything remotely made by the crew’s dedicated cook. “why?” he adds when he catches the way your smile falters at his reply.

“nothing, it’s nothing.” you lean over to kiss his temple. his heart has been so deprived of your affection for the entire day that the simple gesture is enough to make him forget about your faltering smile from just mere seconds ago.

ii.

the next morning, after the Thousand Sunny has docked at a new island, Zoro wakes up yet again to an empty bed. this time, though, he wastes no time getting up and jumping into the shower after remembering a specific conversation from a week ago.

“we should go out on a date when we reach the next island,” you’d said, your bare sweaty chest sticking to his as you rested on top of him after an eventful night together.

“whatever you want,” he’d hummed in agreement as he rubbed your sides and back in an attempt to soothe the parts of your skin he’d been a bit too rough with. “we can even go right after we dock.”

rushing out the door of your shared quarters, green locks still dripping with water, Zoro makes it out just in time to catch you alighting the Sunny with two of your fellow Straw Hats: Chopper and, much to his dismay, Sanji. the three of you walk towards the bustling town together with the reindeer in between you and the chef with one hoof holding your right hand as his other holds Sanji’s left. 

Zoro feels the same stirring sensation from yesterday in his chest, except this time its intensity has increased tenfold. a bitterness forms in the back of his throat when he realises, if he wasn’t really paying attention, how much the three of you look like a family: a mother, a father and their child.

for a split second he imagines the kind of future you could have with someone like Sanji–someone who could provide for you and your children in a more meaningful way than a swordsman can. after all, what’s the point of teaching your kid how to wield a sword if you can’t even feed them properly, right?

a part of Zoro considers catching up to your little group and grabbing the basket from your other hand to replace it with his own. it would be a foreign experience to him, not usually being one to initiate even something as simple as hand-holding—aside from the times when your lives were being threatened and he needed to make sure you escaped safely with him.

the swordsman feels his face heat up at the thought of holding your hand for no reason other than the action itself. he tries to recall the last time you wormed your hand into his, intertwining your fingers with his calloused digits. Zoro remembers how soft your skin felt, how cold your hand initially was before it was engulfed in his warmer palm, and his heart skips a beat. 

by the time he snaps himself out of his reverie, he realises you’re nowhere to be seen.

”what’s bothering you, swordsman?” a familiar voice speaks from behind him. without turning around, Zoro simply shrugs in response.

”i don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

he hears Robin chuckle before he feels her hands sprouting from his shoulders to gently turn him around. though he really doesn’t want to talk about his feelings to the archeologist, he decides it’s better to comply than to fight it.

her arms are crossed as she looks at him with a smile. Zoro can’t help but compare her expression to that of a person seeing a pitiful baby animal struggling with eating solid foods for the first time—they know the only thing they can really do is watch.

”i think you should talk to her. you won’t know what she’s thinking unless you ask.”

Zoro curses under his breath. had he really been that obvious with his pining? how pathetic he must look to the rest of his crewmates.

how pathetic.

still, he can’t deny that she’s right—Robin always is, most of the time. he knows he’s been making a lot of assumptions lately and it’s not fair to either of you; and yet when he thinks about sitting you down to hear your actual feelings, he fears that not only will he be unable to offer you what you need, you would realise it as well.

would it really be the end of the world? if we go back to just being friends? 

Zoro’s lived his entire life up to this point without any romance, having deluded himself into thinking that any relationship—platonic or romantic—wouldn’t serve his goal of being the best swordsman. if anything, it would only be a distraction. he’d made it far in life with this belief and then, of course, he had to meet Luffy and subsequently: you.

he realises then that he can’t remember what it’s like not being your partner; to not have the privilege of being the one who sleeps beside you every night, to touch and hold and kiss you in ways only appropriate behind closed doors. when he thinks about his future as the world’s greatest swordsman, he can only imagine it with you by his side. it wouldn’t be the same otherwise.

maybe… if we just never talk about this, i can be yours for a little while longer. with a bit more time, maybe i can convince you to keep loving me.

iii.

a few days later, on the morning of the day you’ve been anxiously preparing for for a week now, you wake up, once again, to an empty bed and your heart sinks lower than it did yesterday.

Zoro has been waking up earlier these past few days and you’re unable to find out why. anytime you try to look for him during his usual training hours, you struggle to even find him, let alone spend time with him. for some reason that even the others are unsure of, he’s been training in odd places around the Thousand Sunny, seemingly forgoing the crow’s nest altogether. on the off chance you do manage to run into him, he’ll give you some random excuse for why he “can’t talk right now”.

”Luffy needs me to run some errands.”

”i have an appointment with the local blacksmith.”

”i think i see Chopper drowning.”

clenching your fists in your lap, you stay sitting in bed for a while longer, your heart pounding faster and faster no matter how hard you try to calm it down. you feel your eyes begin to burn with tears as you come to the realisation that maybe Zoro isn’t interested in you anymore. 

under your breath, you curse at whatever god is listening for their horrific timing. you’d spent the past week with Sanji and Chopper meticulously planning for tonight’s surprise birthday picnic and now you’re not sure if you’ll be able to convince your boyfriend to even look at you.

mind racing, you try to recall if you’d done anything to remotely upset him lately but you draw a blank. if anything, you’ve been spending more time away from Zoro in order to maintain the secrecy of your plans but surely that’s not what he’s upset over, right? wouldn’t he have welcomed the me-time with open arms?

finally deciding that it’s really not the time to be overthinking about this, you wipe away your tears and get ready to freshen up for the day. you and the others have put in too much effort into tonight to just throw it all away so you decide that no matter what, you will see it through, even if it ends up being the last time you spend with him as his partner.

iv. 

Zoro’s on the verge of falling asleep whilst sitting upright in bed when the door to your shared quarters bursts open and startles him awake. before he can beat the crap out of whoever it is, Nami’s frantic shouting freezes him in place.

”(Y/N)’s been taken!” his throat tightens as he feels his heart drop and his skin go cold. “quick you need to hurry!” the navigator yells. instinctively he grabs his three swords and leaps out of bed towards the door, more of the Straw Hats coming into view as he exits the room.

”you fucking dumbass mosshead!” Sanji shouts, furious, “sweet (Y/N)’s been kidnapped and you’ve been asleep this whole time?!”

”i-i last saw her being taken away towards the southmost cliff,” Chopper sobs, words muffled by his hooves as he frantically rubs away his never ending tears.

”remember, Zoro,” Sanji grabs the swordsman’s shoulders firmly, “southmost. SOUTH. it’s literally the closest cliff to the dock.”

it does cross Zoro’s mind that the chef’s acting fucking weird but right now isn’t the time for that. without a word, he takes off, running as fast as his legs can carry him toward what he hopes is the right direction. once he’s out of earshot, the Straw Hats let out a collective sigh.

”do you think he’ll make it?” Nami asks no one in particular.

”seeing as he really thinks (Y/N)’s in danger, i’d say so,” Robin replies.

”well, at least we have Usopp keeping an eye on him,” Sanji adds, “if mosshead really gets lost, we can at least rely on Usopp to get him back on the right track.”

a moment of silence passes as they all watch Zoro gradually disappear from view—all except for the sound of Chopper’s sobbing.

”he’s not here anymore, you don’t need to keep crying, Chopper,” Nami says to the doctor. he sniffles as he pulls his hooves away from his face, revealing a mess of snot and tears. 

“i-i know,” he chokes, reaching out to hug Robin’s leg, “i was faking it at first but now i’m scared something will happen and they really do break up.” Chopper lets out another cry, smooshing his face into the archeologist’s pants as he wonders if this is what children feel like when their parents get divorced.

“don’t be silly,” Nami leans down to pat his head, “i’m pretty sure hell would freeze over first before they decide to break up. besides, once Zoro sees all the stuff (Y/N)’s prepared, i think that’ll be the last thing on his mind.” 

v.

the swordsman barely thinks about where he’s going as he makes his way to you, his legs carrying him through twists and turns as though they have a mind of their own. all he can really focus on right now is the sound of his scabbards clicking against one another and the way you’ve been looking at him these past few days.

how your smile would melt away when he gave you another half-assed excuse to leave. how he felt you lingering a distance behind him so many times before your presence disappeared without saying a word. how just last night it seemed like you wanted to ask him something before going to bed, your mouth opening and closing as you laid down beside him, head turned just enough for your eyes to meet his. he’d almost asked you what’s wrong but before he could, you simply shook your head and turned around to go to sleep with your back facing his way.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry i kept avoiding you. i’m sorry i hurt your feelings.

Zoro takes a sharp left turn before he’s halted in his tracks when an entire tree branch falls just a few steps in front of him. before he can manoeuvre his way around the unexpected obstacle, he realises he’s going the wrong way; so he turns around.

i just needed more time to think. i just wanted a bit more time to figure out how to fix myself for you.

through the darkness of the night, his eyes catch a glimpse of light as he nears the edge of the forest that leads to the southmost cliff of the island. heart pounding rapidly in his chest as he continues to run, Zoro readies himself for a fight, to shed as much blood as necessary to bring you home without so much as a scratch on your skin. 

please be okay. this can’t be how it ends for us. i need to tell you that i—

he comes to a sudden stop, the inertia from running at top speed causing him to nearly stumble forwards. still panting heavily as he holds his unsheathed swords by his sides, Zoro simply stands there wordlessly as his eyes take in the sight before him.

you’re by yourself, sitting cross-legged on a large picnic blanket with a large array of food and bottles of alcohol surrounding you. you’re wearing a dress he’s never seen before but it fits you perfectly and he wonders if you’d gotten it just for tonight. you simply smile at Zoro as you wait a good while for the truth to fully dawn on him; to be honest you didn’t expect him to show up so frazzled and upset.

”happy birthday?” you eventually say, unsure yourself why the phrase comes out sounding like a question. still donning a look of shock on his face, Zoro sinks to his knees, dropping his swords onto the grass. he furrows his eyebrows, clearly deep in thought and your own eyes widen when you realise— “did you forget today’s your birthday?”

”i…” he murmurs, “… yeah, i forgot.” he swallows thickly. “is this all for me?”

”of course it is,” you can’t help but laugh a little as you reply, still unable to wrap your head around the fact that he truly did not see this coming at all. “i spent the whole week getting ready for this.”

Zoro feels a pang in his chest.

”you’re not breaking up with me?” he asks, stunning you into silence. for a second you think he’s trying to make some kind of sick joke but you know him well enough to tell from the way he’s staring at you so intensely that he’s being completely honest. “i thought…” the swordsman steadies his voice as best as he can, unable to help the words he’s been keeping hidden from spilling out of his lips, “you’d fallen out of love with me. i thought you just didn’t want to be around me anymore.”

you feel your eyes burn with tears as you hear your own thoughts being spoken aloud in his voice. your bottom lip quivers as you feel an odd mix of relief and sadness wash over you. upon seeing you cry, Zoro scrambles towards you until he’s within arm’s reach.

”no, no,” he clumsily wipes away your tears with the pads of his thumbs as he cups your face in between his hands gently, “please don’t cry. don’t be sad.” you place your own hands over his, keeping them held to your face as you give him a wobbly smile.

”i’m not sad, you silly man,” you reply with fresh tears still running down your face. “i’m so relieved. this whole time i thought you were going to break up with me.”

”what made you think that?” Zoro can’t help but speak with a hint of indignance in his voice.

”you’ve been avoiding me the past few days,” you sniffle, the sound alone twisting his heart even further. “i thought you’d gotten sick of me or something but i didn’t wanna waste all the effort me and the others put into tonight so i thought we could at least have one last date together before you break up with me.” you feel his hands tense up as you speak before a frown spreads across his handsome face once you finish saying your piece.

”i could never,” he responds resolutely, as though offended by the mere idea of ever falling out of love with you. Zoro admits he’d been dodging you in order to avoid being broken up with. “i just thought,” he says, face turning red as he realises how dumb it all sounds now that he’s saying it out loud, “that if i didn’t give you the chance to leave me, i’d have more time to fix myself… to have more time being yours.”

”what’s there to fix?” you can’t help but ask, turning your head ever so slightly to press a kiss against the palm of his right hand. you smile when you notice Zoro’s already blushing face turning a deeper shade of red. “i already love every part of you. don’t you ever dare think again you need to change.”

you let out a squeak of surprise when Zoro lunges towards you without warning, tackling you into a tight hug. his hand reaches out to cushion the back of your head as you fall backwards onto your back with him laying on top of you. running his fingers through your hair, the swordsman gazes down at you warmly as he just now registers the smell of onigiri and sashimi.

”you made all this for me?” he asks in a soft voice, his breath brushing against your face. you nod, smile growing even wider when he leans down to kiss the tip of your nose. “is that why you were hanging around the shitty chef so much?” 

you hum affirmative in response, unable to help the racing of your heart as you bask in the sudden display of physical intimacy he rarely shows you outside of the bedroom. you wonder if he can feel your rapid heartbeat from how closely his chest is pressed against yours.

”the onigiri from earlier this week was my first attempt at making it,” you share before you feel Zoro start to pepper kisses all over your face.

”i lied when i said they tasted the same,” he admits, the occasional syllable muffling from when his lips make contact with your skin. “they tasted really good. i just thought the shitty cook made them so i lied.”

”oh really?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. “i hope you like the ones i made today then.” Zoro brushes the tip of his nose against yours.

”i’d love anything you make for me,” he mumbles before capturing your lips with his own, pulling away only when his lungs begin to scream for air. “thank you for the surprise, (Y/N). i love you.”

”love you, too.” 

—

taglist: @irethepotato @i-reblog-fics-i-like

i just finished fishman island!! so here's one of the many updates i will make!!

firstly, can i just talk about how fucking gorgeous post time skip sanji is,,,,,,, like

Hes so precious

heehee.png

Twitter trend Franky! ❤️‍🔥

I've had so much fun drawing him with crop-top tan lines! All the original trends I'll put the links down below.

the luffy x readers arent gonna make themselves..

three hundred sonnets (sanji x reader)

a/n: my first OP x reader fic ever written! :D i’m currently only at the start of the Water 7 arc so this will take place somewhere prior to that :) i hope you enjoy!

big thank you to @chibinasuu for your encouragement in my initial post abt this fic idea! <3 i'm so excited to write more stuff in the future :D

also! i’d really appreciate any requests sent my way :D right now i’ll only write SFW fics/headcanons for Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Crocodile & Smoker! but they will all be set early in the series/not during any specific arc since i’m still only at ep 200ish :’D

contents: gn reader, zoro is unintentionally an asshole, major insecurity, injury, miscommunication, angst to fluff, hurt/reverse comfort 

wc: 3k

—

“if he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets”

i.

it’s no secret that Zoro isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the kitchen drawer— or at least that’s what Sanji thinks, especially now as he stands by the sink scrubbing away at the leftover grime on the used dishes; feeling a tightness in his shoulders he just can’t seem to will away.

”hey, cook,” the inebriated swordsman slurred from across the dining table, a shit-eating grin on his reddened face—a familiar sight to everyone on the straw hat crew, especially when times have been smooth sailing. “i heard somethin’ interesting from the last town’s blacksmith the other day and it reminded me of you.” Zoro continued without waiting to be acknowledged.

”if this is something about my eyebrows again, i swear to god i’ll-”

”he said somethin’ like ‘if he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. if he writes her three hundred sonnets, he loves sonnets’ and i just thought-” he paused to let out a quick burp, “-you ever consider you might just love cooking more than you love (Y/N)?”

the muffled, happy chatter of his satisfied crewmates from outside the closed kitchen door does nothing to distract Sanji from what even he himself knows is a turbulent mental spiral. he grits his teeth as his fingers grip the sponge even harder, working away at a particularly stubborn stain that strikes him as the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Sanji lets out a choked laugh when it dawns on him how ridiculous all this must seem to an outsider: a grown man on the verge of tears as he washes the dishes, overthinking about an off-handed comment said by an extremely drunk friend that was never supposed to mean anything and yet it seems to have shattered everything he thought he knew about himself and his love for the most important person in his life.

ii. 

you decide to excuse yourself from the post-dinner drink-and-chat session with the rest of the crew after you realise someone in particular has been missing for a strangely long time.

you ignore Zoro’s slurred request for you to bring back more booze, knowing he’ll be passing out any minute now from how much he’s drunk tonight, and head to the kitchen. ready to drag your beloved to bed for a nice cuddling session, you can’t help the smile that graces your face as you swing open the door to Sanji’s domain.

”hey love, are you done cleaning up?” you chirp as you approach his broad back, hands ready to plop down on his shoulders for a light squeeze—just the way you know he likes it. the sink comes into clearer view as you get closer and the sight of a few dozen sudsy but unwashed plates and bowls answers the question for you.

”oh, i, um-” the way the blond man jolts slightly in response to your touch isn’t lost on you but what took you more by surprise is how Sanji rubs his face against his sleeve before finally turning to look at you from over his shoulder. he smiles before leaning in to press a quick kiss to your forehead out of habit. “i got a bit distracted but i’ll be done soon, my love.”

”i can help you-”

”no!” you’re sure the way your eyes widen in surprise at his response is mirrored on his face as you both stare blankly at one another for a second. “no, no. i can handle it,” Sanji continues, quick to press a few apologetic kisses on your face, the rapid pounding of his heart calming slightly when he sees how you lean into his affection, seemingly forgetting his odd outburst from just a second ago. 

“why don’t you just wash up and wait for me in bed, hmm? i’ll be with you before you know it.”

”are you sure? it’ll be quicker if we do it together.” 

oh how his chest aches from how sweetly you look at him, offering him a final chance to take you up on the offer. his reddened and sore fingertips scream for him to say yes, beg him to accept your company not only for their sake but also for his heart’s—

i must prove to you how much i love you.

”it’s quite alright, sweet thing, it’s only the dishes.”

iii.

“it’s just a few thousand berry.”

“it’s only a massage.”

“it’s just mopping the floor.”

“it’s only folding the clothes.”

”it’s a small scratch, nothing to worry your little head about.”

”i can take up your night watch today… nonsense, i insist…”

”…nothing but a sprained ankle, i’ll be fine. all that matters is that you’re okay.”

iv.

”Sanji, love, is something wrong?” your voice shatters the silence that had long since engulfed the two of you sitting alone in the kitchen. the others left to explore the newest island you’ve chanced upon and your beloved’s insistence on watching over Merry all but confirm your suspicion that something, indeed, is not right.

”whatever do you mean?” the chef responds with a slight tilt of his head, his tongue darting out to soothe his dry lips when he catches how worried you look.

please don’t

”well, it’s just that… you know this island’s pretty famous for its produce, right?” you ask before you slowly reach out to grab his hand resting on the table. “are you sure you don’t wanna look around? take a break?”

”a break from what?” he chuckles nervously, shooting you a small smile when he feels your thumb rub against his knuckles.

”it’s just that… you’ve been working really hard this past week, y’know?” you reach out to cup his face with your other hand, a gesture Sanji instinctively welcomes with no hesitation as he nuzzles into the warmth of your palm, his tired eyes fluttering closed for a second.

it’s nothing. nothing at all. as long as it means i can feel this warmth for one day more.

”you should go have some fun with the others, it’s my turn to watch Merry. i’ll be fine for a few hours on my own.” Sanji opens his eyes and is greeted by the familiar sight of your warm smile as you rub the pad of your thumb under his eye, across the dark patch of skin—a result of his insistence on doing your night watches with you alongside his full-time duties as the sole chef of the ship.

turning his head slightly to press his lips against your palm, he shoots you another smile. “i’m not really in the mood to explore, i’d much rather stay here with you.”

because what if you realise how much you don’t need me when i’m gone?

Sanji feels the tightness in his chest loosen up a bit when his honeyed response, spoken in his best imitation of a sane boyfriend with only normal thoughts in his head, seems to work in quelling your concern at least for now.

v. 

oh how you wish you’d pressed further back then, dug deeper even if it made him uncomfortable. if you could miraculously go back in time just once in your life, you’d choose to return to that afternoon in the kitchen when you were alone with him. you would’ve seized the opportunity to pry, to force the hard truth out of your beloved chef even if it meant tears shed and bonds broken; because even a scenario like that would be so much more preferable to the one you’re currently in right now.

the entire crew steers clear of the infirmary for the day. even Chopper only shows up to redress Sanji’s wounds every now and then, leaving once he’s done, unable to stay any longer due to how heavy the air feels inside that one tiny room. the other straw hats rely on him for details on how things seem to be going between the crew’s chef and chronicler. otherwise, they elect to give you two some privacy and space, collectively hoping things can return to normal soon.

neither of you say a word for nearly half an hour after Chopper leaves. the stiffness in your neck is starting to bother you but you remain frozen in position, seated by Sanji’s side as he lays resting in bed, his left hand heavily bandaged.

it happened quicker than anyone could have possibly expected. 

the enemy pirate’s sword slashing in your direction as you prepare to parry the way Zoro taught you long ago. you were confident in your ability to win the fight, having been in much tougher situations in the past and still emerging victorious. you might not be the best fighter but everyone knew you could stand your ground fairly well.

Sanji knew that, too. there was no one he believed in more than you, his partner, the love of his life. he knew you would be fine, unscathed, even; and yet his body moved on its own accord anyway. his hands reached forward, contrary to a lifetime of instincts.

i must prove myself to you. 

he knows now, looking at the endless stream of tears silently running down your face and the way your jaw is tensed up—your teeth most certainly chewing on your tongue—that he’d fucked up.

”i’m sorry—” your head turns sharply for your eyes to meet his for the first time in a while when he speaks, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Sanji’s bottom lip begins to tremble as he looks away in shame, his own teary eyes glued to his bandaged hand. “i-i won’t be able to cook for you for a while.”

for a minute, you forget how to breathe.

and then, inexplicably, a wave of rage washes over you; a culmination of the past two weeks of concern, confusion and worry over Sanji’s drastic sudden need to do anything and everything for you. his intense desire to display his selflessness all building up to the moment he used his hands to protect you; and even then his only concern is being unable to cook for you?

your own curl into fists on your lap, your nails digging into the meat of your palm, there’s a sudden coppery taste in your mouth as your molars bite down harder onto your tongue. the sheer idea of him willingly giving up his hands of all things to defend you from an opponent you could beat with your eyes closed made you so unbelievably angry at something you couldn’t even quite put your finger on.

sensing a shift in your emotions, Sanji finally tilts his head up to look back at you. his throat threatens to constrict itself and his heart drops when he sees the furious look on your face.

”am i really such a helpless creature to you?”

you regret the words as soon as you say them. the initial fury coursing through your veins dissipating in the blink of an eye when you see how your single sentence instantly breaks something in him.

his mouth opens and closes but no words escape his lips, meanwhile tears flow freely down his faces, one drop after another falling onto the blanket draped over his lap as his uninjured hand grips the fabric for dear life.

no, you could never be helpless you’re perfect you’re the most perfect person in the whole world i don’t deserve to have you and yet you chose me but now i’ve ruined it all—

the endless thoughts racing in his head go abruptly silent when he feels the softness and warmth of your body engulf his. your hand reaches up to hold the back of his head, pulling his face into the crook of your neck as your free arm wraps around his upper back. your knees are planted on the mattress, trapping him in a straddle as you hug him tightly, careful not to agitate his wounds.

for a few seconds, all Sanji does is breathe. in and out. every inhale filled with the scent of your shampoo mixed with the saltiness of your sweat and tears. he feels the hand holding his head run its fingers through his blond hair in a familiar way, it sends pleasant tingles down his spine and for the first time in a while, he’s able to release the tension in his shoulders.

Sanji’s eyes flutter closed as he nuzzles deeper into your neck, pressing a small kiss against your skin before wrapping his own arms around you, returning the much-needed embrace.

”i love you so much, my sweet boy,” you whisper loud enough for him to hear. “i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean what i said. i know you of all people believe the most in me. i was wrong to accuse you of thinking about me in such a way.” you turn your head to kiss his temple, then his forehead, then the space between his eyes, then the tip of his nose. now face-to-face, your beloved opens his tear-stained eyes to look back into your own.

”are you okay? did something happen?” you ask softly, continuing to caress the back of his head, tangling his golden locks with your fingers. “i’ve been worried about you, the others are too.” he lets out a sniffle but stays silent, so you continue, “i know you’re a selfless person and you love doing things for other people, especially me.” you smile and he returns a small smile back. it, however, falters into an embarrassed grimace when he recalls the conversation that started it all.

how silly it all feels in hindsight, Sanji wonders to himself, as you patiently await his reply, still hugging him closely as your soft breath fans his face. how easily this could all have been resolved if he’d simply talked to you about it once it all started to feel too much. 

the hand behind his head travels toward his cheek to cradle his face in the palm of your hand. you run your thumb gently over his cheekbone as he practically purrs and leans even closer into your loving touch. 

then, he speaks.

vi.

the cooling sea air circulates the space of your shared room as the Going Merry drifts slowly across the calm waters of the night.

Chopper had given Sanji the OK to rest in his usual bed after redressing his wounds in the evening. After leaving the infirmary, the chef made his way to the kitchen to check up on your progress with dinner. Since he was banned from cooking until his hand was fully recovered, you’d volunteered to take up all kitchen duties temporarily. Seeing how excited you were to now be the one providing for him and the others quelled any worries he had instantly.

”Now I get to make all your favourite food and drinks for you instead,” you’d said, crossing your arms and putting on a faux expression of haughtiness, as though you’d finally won some long-drawn out battle.

”I look forward to it, sweet thing.” was all it took to wipe the look off your face as you felt your entire body warm up at his tender voice.

Smiling at the memory from just a few hours ago, Sanji stood outside the kitchen, ready to enter when he heard two voices come from inside. Curious, he stayed put and listened.

”You need to think before you speak!” you yelled, your raised voice accompanied by the sound of a knife hitting the wooden cutting board in a sharp, rhythmic manner. “I know you were drunk but what even was the point of saying all that to him?”

”Listen, I already apologised, you don’t have to keep—”

”I’m just warning you: pull that shit again and I’ll throw all your booze into the ocean.”

”Alright! Damn! I won’t do it again, I swear—”

Sanji’s snapped out of his reverie when he feels you stir awake beside him. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes before blearily looking up at his face, your hand pressing against his bare chest to prop yourself up slightly from the mattress.

”Can’t sleep?” you ask, running your palm up and down his skin in a gentle manner.

”Mmm, just thinking about how you managed to get mosshead to say sorry to me at dinner,” he replied, wrapping his arm around you to pull you closer. “Still feels like a weird fever dream.”

“I’m just so good with words, y’know?” you chuckle as you pull your hand away from his chest to replace it with the side of your head. You don’t fail to notice how his heartbeat quickens. “Why else would the infamous Straw Hat Pirates take me on as their chronicler?”

”Of course,” Sanji hums before burying his face in your hair, “we accept nothing but the best after all.”

You laugh softly in response, ready to let the conversation meet its natural end in order for the two of you to drift off to sleep. Right before you shut your eyes, though, your lover speaks up once more.

”I’m so lucky to be loved by you.” his sudden confession knocks the wind from your lungs as your heart leaps within the tight confines of your chest.

”luck has nothing to do with it, sweet boy,” you reply, turning to your head slightly to press your lips to his chest. “i love you because you’re you—the kindest, strongest, most talented man i’ve ever met. you’ve ruined other people for me, not to mention the food they make. nothing compares to you.” 

Sanji silently thanks the night sky for the darkness enveloping your room as he feels his face practically catch fire. Though, he’s certain you can probably tell how flustered he is from the rapid beating of his heart anyway.

”You’ll still love me even if I can’t cook for you anymore?” he mutters, half-joking.

”i’ll still love you even if you refuse to cook for me for the rest if our lives,” you reply, kind of half-joking. “I’d probably be really sad, though, but i’ll still love you.” In response, you feel a chuckle rumble from his chest as his uninjured arm pulls you closer until you’ve basically melded into one.

”you know fully well the day i refuse to cook for you is the day i die.”

you hum in response, already drifting off to sleep with a contented smile on your face. Sanji presses one last kiss of the night to your forehead before dozing off himself.