Oh I Just Saw, Congrats On The Bachelors!! Im Still In Calc 3, I Thought Itd Be Less Mundane But It Is

homotopy groups of fucking spheres

I'm still salty about this half a decade later.

What was the most upsetting result in mathematics for you?

sn

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

29 VII 2021

got vaxxed today and spent the rest of the day with bf

sleep: trash. been falling asleep at 4am again, "i'll try to go to bed before 3" my ass

concentration: alright. i'm as always extremely productive and i didn't find it hard to focus recently

no phone time: alright. i'm so immersed in my work that i forget to check the phone and i don't really feel inclined to talk to people or look at social media anyway

didn't do any pure math today, did some applied instead, which was working on SVM with friends from my uni. we got stuck on solving the quadratic programming problem but we're almost done

tomorrow i'm planning to go back to the chapter about operations on topo spaces, finish the art comission I got and finish some functionalities in the digital animation project i'm doing with bf. much finishing, this is how i like things to be

yes! the same goes for teaching btw. people who just recite the textbook to you are not good teachers. the key to a good explanation of a concept is understanding why someone does not understand it in the first place. and doing that to your own mind when trying to learn something is the point of good learning

also maybe it’s just bc i have a very autistic interest in sociology and human behavior but i like to understand why people think and behave the way they do. it’s been an asset to my ability to advocate for myself and for others. if i know why someone believes something rather than just what they believe, i can have an actual conversation with them. so it always boggles my mind when ppl insist it doesn’t matter why someone believes something, they’re Just Wrong And Should Change Their Mind. like yeah if i could snap my fingers and make someone not transphobic i’d do that but i live on planet earth so the only thing that is gonna potentially get someone to change their mind as long as they’re not too far gone is having an honest conversation with them. i have changed several minds this way, including my own parents, so it’s frustrating to see ppl discouraging this.

We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like being banished into forests far from everyone. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.

Franz Kafka

25 XI 2022

I neglected this blog a little, a lot is going on right now

I have a lot of work and I'm barely keeping up, I was sick for two weeks because not going to school would result in even more problems, so the cold didn't want to go away. I'm fine now but the lack of sleep is still fucking with my cognitive performance and I'm in general very exhausted both physically and mentally

today I had a meeting with the dean to talk about the accommodations for adhd and asd and it went very well, he is such a nice guy. we discussed extended time on tests, getting more specific instructions from professors and just a bit of extra care so I don't get overwhelmed. we also talked about a mentor who would help me with organizing my studying and the dean said that he will find someone who would help me with progressing in my field of interest, which sounds very promising. I don't know yet what that's gonna be, maybe algebraic topology, maybe something leaning more towards algebraic geometry, we'll see

when it comes to what I'm doing right now, we did some more stuff from homological algebra (projective and injective objects, derived functors and group homology) and the topics from commutative algebra have more geometric motivations, so the course becomes more and more enjoyable. learning complex analysis is much easier than those two other courses because there is significantly less theory and even if the problems are super difficult, it doesn't require as much brain power

other than doing homework I'm trying to find some time to read Introduction to Differential Topology by Jänich, although recently time is a scarce resource. the book is great tho

12 XII 2022

I have a test at the end of this week so I am mostly grinding for that, kinda ignoring other things along the way, planning to catch up with them during the christmas break

the new update for my tablet's OS brought the option to insert pictures into the notes, so now I can paste the problem statements directly from the book. I am not sure if this is actually efficient but it surely looks better and the notes are more readable

(I can't vouch for the correctness of those tho lol I just started learning about the Rouché's theorem)

I have been trying to keep up with the material discussed in lectures on commutative algebra and agebraic methods. with each lecture there is a set of homework problems to solve and I predefined a standard for myself that this week it's alright if I don't do the homework because grinding for the test is more important

I made some pretty notes on valuation rings

during the break I need to study finite and integral ring maps and valuation rings for commutative algebra course; resolutions, derived functors and universal coefficients theorem for algebraic methods course. I feel pretty good about the test that's coming up. sure, you can never be too prepared but so far I've been able to solve a good part of the problems I tried, so I should be ok

1 X 2022

new month huh

yesterday the commutative algebra teacher sent out the first homework assignment. you know, fuck the holiday, we need that grind

I have a week to solve it but I started yesterday as I was so excited

we need to prove some elementary properties of commutative unitary rings and I am enjoying it, I completed a half of the exercises so far. I can tell that the intuition acquired from studying module theory is paying off. many of the requested properties are the special cases of what I encountered during my module venture, so I feel like I understand them quite well. the problem I come across is how to write it down in a rigorous way, but I guess this is why we're supposed to do those exercises

I just got home from the math camp, it was so exhausting. I am not used to being around people all the time, so I my tolerance for interactions is low. I'm glad I went there tho, because I gained some teaching experience – my lecture, choosing contest problems and then grading the solutions

my university offers jobs as graders, older students can make some extra money checking homeworks of younger ones. the requirement is to have a decent GPA, which I don't have so I'm afraid they won't accept me. I don't know how decent exactly tho, so I'm going to try. in particular I might get bonus points for my extracurricular activities, giving talks at conferences and the grading I did at the camp. I'm so done with being poor, I hope I get in. otherwise I might start looking for some programming jobs, not for this academic year but in general, to find out what I could do at all

a few days ago I found a book that I wish I had found sooner: Vector Analysis, Klaus Janich

these are some of the chapters I needed a few months ago for my analysis course. the book is written like a novel and contains many interesting examples. on the bright side there are chapters about riemannian manifolds and other stuff that I haven't yet had an opportunity to study, so I plan to skim through the topics I already know and stay longer at those new to me

well, the sememster starts on tuesday so I don't have much time for that book, but as a sidequest it seems just right