Spider Boy Spider Boy Does Whatever A Spider Boy Does.

Intern Cecil!!!!

The malevolent fandom:

this is a blessing bat and you don’t have to do anything for it to work. once u see it you are blessed forever.

cut open a package of bacon while making food tonight, and then paused to take a pic because I realized the way I open bacon is probably not normal

is it just me? does anyone else do this?

Zedaph's latest episode is truly one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

If you haven't seen it you're missing out on Zedaph and Grian loosing their minds for 2 hours trying to wrangle both an afk Tango and what quickly becomes like 20 shulkers? Who are also apparently Grian's children??

Featuring such gems as:

Grian: We've lost the shulker.

Zedaph: Excuse me?

Grian: He's- he's dead.

Zedaph: He's dead?

Grian: He's DEAD!

Zedaph: He's dead.

Grian: He's dead.

---

Grian: These are my children and I have a responsibility to them.

*minutes later*

Zedaph: Are you still sure you don't want any of your children to, um...

Grian: *immediately starts stabbing shulkers* Yeah let's kill- no I- yeah- goodbye.

---

Grian: Was this worth it Zed?

Zedaph: *without hesitation* No.

---

Zedaph: *handing Grian a trophy* You can cry into that.

If you haven't watched it, you should. One of my new favorite episodes ever.

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

Rain

reblog by only using one word to describe what country/state you’re from

cheese

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.