born-of-star-flesh

Latest Posts by born-of-star-flesh

I feel like my entire existence is defined by the things I am not instead of the things I am

There is no one thing that I am, simply things I am not

I want to phase AGAB language out of my normal use because I'm not intersex and AGAB was meant for intersex people. Does anyone have any good alternatives? I use "person with a uterus" or "person with a penis" or any other anatomy based language when it's relevant to the conversation but there are aspects of my body and experience I want to talk about that aren't just about my organs.

I'm a person who is perceived as a woman. I check off all the boxes for what is considered "standard female anatomy" (big quotes here, I don't think a standard should define us) I grew up raised as a girl, I haven't physically transitioned at all, etc etc etc

I want to be able to acknowledge and expand on these parts of my existence without referring to myself as a woman bc I'm not. I also don't want to be put in the "woman-lite" category. I don't see my body as being gendered even if other people perceive it as being woman gendered. I've considered the term "female-bodied' to describe me but my worry is that language could be used against trans people. I don't like the terms masc or fem for me either because I don't feel masculine or feminine. I don't connect to those terms.

I constantly feel like when I try to explain my experience I run into all sorts of linguistics barriers and it's deeply frustrating to me

let’s sit on mama

literally i am almost completely soulless i am incapable of being human i am incapable of being inhuman i am living uncontrollably it should be antidepression as a friend of mine suggested because it's not the sadness that hurts you its the brains reaction against it

Alright I've done the math. I either need to get 100% on my final for a class so I don't fail it or I go back and try to turn in the very first project I missed (that makes me want to rip my hair out) and that my professor might not even grade because it is 3-4 months overdue

"Such articles [about how sex is better than a movie, a book, a game etc] imply not only that sex is normal and wonderful but also that sex is the main source of adventure, reflecting what journalist Rachel Hills calls "the sex myth" in her book of the same name. The sex myth, which is an extension of compulsory sexuality, has two parts. One is obvious: sex is everywhere and we are saturated in it, from song lyrics to television shows to close-ups of women's lipsticked mouths eating burgers, meat juice trickling down their throats. The second part is the belief that "sex is more special, more significant, a source of greater thrills and more perfect pleasure than any other activity humans engage in." No sex means no pleasure, or no ability to enjoy pleasure.

"The result is that anyone who isn't sexual enough or sexual in the right way becomes lesser. The label of asexual should be value neutral. It should indicate little more that sexual orientation. Instead, asexual implies a slew of other, negative associations: passionless, uptight, boring, robotic, cold, prude, frigid, lacking, broken. These, especially broken, are the words aces use again and again to describe how we are perceived and made to feel."

~ Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

I keep coming back to this video essay

The simulacrum of feminine performance | explored through The Substance

Especially the concept of a simulacrum. This idea of hyper-reality.

Of course of how it pertains to gender but also how it seeps our way into so much of our culture. We're so separated from our inherent existence and instead who we are is filtered through several layers of society

I haven't spent enough time considering this in the depth I would like to write a full analysis of these concepts and how they apply to me and others but I've got so many seeds of thoughts around this topic.

I think eventually I might write a personal essay on how the simulacrum of womanhood affects me as a nonbinary person, especially one who's autistic and struggles with a social identity. I think there's so much to explore on this topic

The thing about the setting of Sky COTL is that even though the player characters can all fly the world is built by an ancient civilization of people who could not and pretty much all the NPCs you will interact with outside of the dev inserts during anniversaries etc. are spirits of those people who could not fly. as a sky kid you are functionally just a mimic that takes on the appearance of the ancestors and picks up their gestures and fashions through imitation of their cultures you are exposed to. you don’t sneeze innately - you learn how to do a sneeze gesture by watching a spirit sneeze. this is how you learn how to wave to people, how to dance, how to applaud. when sky kids (players) communicate with each other, this is the language they have learned to do so, but because of how players communicate with each other, they are abstracting the language from the ancients into a sky kid culture of their own. player communities use the Bow emote frequently with each other in gratitude at every little interaction, which makes sky kids out to be funny little courteous guys. i got so offroaded from what i was going to say originally, which is that the pleasure of a world where you can fly is not necessarily one absent stairs, but one where stairs exist but where you can circumvent them with flight

Not aroace not alloace but a secret third thing (being ace impacts how I experience romantic attraction in a way I cannot define)

Anyone else notice the dandelion life cycle seeming all messed up? I remember them lasting for a good chunk of the summer when I was young. They were taller too. They've only popped up a few weeks ago where I am and some of them are already turning white. They're much shorter too. It makes me sad

I've been very inspired by @claypigeonpottery recently and their clay guardians so I've been making a room guardian for my dorm

She still needs to be glazed but I painted her last night and I think she looks awesome so far!

The idea is you give her a quarter offering to gain favor and when you need a little luck you can take the quarter. You could also put any little trinkets or charms there as well

Thank you Clay Pigeon for the inspiration!

So I'm reading the girl from the other side rn and idk they just remind me of each other a lot

one-sided(?) chat

Sometimes I forget I'm autistic but then I remember that not everyone has a deep and crushing loneliness inside them from being "other" their whole lives without a clear reason for why

I headcanon Steven Universe himself as autistic and I don’t see a lot of people talking about it. Because I relate to him, since I am social at times but also very overly emotional, and also Steven is probably just high masking (my hc), so it would be harder to notice and diagnose him. I’ve been comparing him to the ways in which female autism gets unnoticed and I’ve been making a little note with DSM-5 criteria that he may fit into.

Thinking about death being a part of the cycle of life. Not in the "all things must die" way but that death itself brings new life.

The whale fall feeds the ocean, feeding life from it's death. The old fallen tree provides habitat, food, and gets broken down and returned to the earth. An animal dies and the vultures clean its corpse, not just feeding themselves but reducing disease for those still alive.

Death is so integral to our life, there is not one without the other. We are all in this system, no matter how hard humanity tried to escape it.

More of my baby Val!! While werebeasts can control their transformations to an extent, it's tied to their emotions! If they feel very strong emotions, especially anger or fear their form may be out of their control. Val is especially susceptible to this transformation because she's basically angry all the time

Everytime I try to lock in but can't I say I'm locked out

Introducing my babies (aka the only OCs I ever draw) Val and Xander

Image ID at end of post

So some backstory on these guys, they're werebeasts! They don't transform into any specific creature, just go from human looking to humanoid. Xander is only half werebeast so they cannot transform as drastically. They've been friends since childhood and Xander loves Val so much, although she's demi romantic and won't reciprocate his feelings until many years into their adulthood. Val loves getting into fights and Xander constantly has to protect her.

In the main story I'm working with right now Val is 19 and Xander is 20. Val's full name is Valerie but she hates it. She's demiro and pansexual! Her official gender label would probably be demi-girl but she doesn't label it. She uses she/her. Xander rejects all labels for his sexuality and gender, they just regularly refer to themselves as "one queer motherfucker" they technically go by all pronouns but tend to prefer he/they

I made their refs like a year ago and forgot to draw them for a while ngl. But I wanna explore their relationship more and the world they're in so I'll probably be posting about them once in a while

Please don't repost my art to other platforms!

[image ID: image is a drawing of two humanoid characters yelling at each other. One is female with red curly hair and big animal-like ears. She is covered in bruises and cuts. Her text reads "Xander what the fuck! I told you not to get involved. You just have to be the hero." The other person is androgynous with black hair in short dreads. They have pointy ears and claws. His text reads "I thought they were going to kill you! Val, you can't keep picking fights you can't win." End of image ID]

listening to car seat headrest moodboard

Absolutely losing my mind listening to bodys by car seat headrest over and over, this is what I'm alive to do

Anyone else feel like this

Happy international asexuality day!!!! I love being asexual RAGHHHHHHH and i love y'all sm!!!!!!!

Ace people get a lot of "asexual people aren't oppressed" and it's so important to point out the injustices we face. Corrective rape, heavy medicalization, social discrimination from peers, pressure into being a sexual person when you are not, feeling or being told we are broken. All of these are incredibly important topics there needs to be more education about.

I love being asexual, I love my community, and we deserve better.

International Asexuality Day🙌🏽

Happy international asexuality day! I'm proud to be asexual!!!

I absolutely adore the way you drew them here!!! They have that perfect awkward teenage look

Oh I love them so dearly I wish them all happiness I want to see them struck by lightning

I'm an eternal flame, babe—!