I Need This To Happen Sometime Soon Preferably

br... brokeback mountain🥺 @behindscenes-identity its us

Something something… cowboys…

woah buddy no need to describe me exact experience over here🧍‍♂️

I keep doubting my BPD because I think my emotions aren't intense enough, but then I remember I've been in a state of dissociation for what feels like weeks now.

I don't know if any other borderlines relate, but sometimes I'll express emotion on the outside, but I won't feel any of it on the inside. For example, this morning I woke up and seemed very happy and like everything was great. I spoke to my mom and was showing a lot of that happiness through my voice and body language, but internally, I wasn't feeling anything? It's like I'm not feeling emotions somatically.

Because of this, I always find myself confused as to whether or not I'm actually feeling an emotion or not? During times like these, it triggers my imposter syndrome, and I start missing my intense emotions/mood swings.

Maybe it's the black and white thinking, too? If I'm not experiencing an intense emotion, I think I don't have BPD. But when those emotions come back, I'm like, "Yeah. There it is..." and I want to die all over again.

Who am I?

What am I worth?

Am I anything more than a toy to be used and thrown out?

this is Terra

A demon simply called The Brother. It doesn't have siblings or any family, and it's ambiguous whether that creature itself is even male at all. It just keeps turning everything and everyone into broth.

finally released from my pinterest prison now i can spam post on tumblr. i am frollicking rn chat

i yearn to be like a happy ghast please (i am just nether ghast... )

yea well im possessed and its yours

beating back the mental illness allegations by lying

In depth opinion on lellie??🧐🧐🧐

so like... so like, lellie i lowkey, dont agree with it. Like i feel like they do have more of a brother type relationship, BUT BUT HEAR ME OUT its like... ellie is just, possessive/clingy in a way? and lev just wants ellie out of his hair, and ellie wants to just like, take care of him and hang out with him and make sure hes safe, like little brother big brother dynamic, i think maybe at one point maybe in highschool they dated or just messed around (can be freaky, can be not freaky) but i feel like its a Fallen x Red thing where it just kinda like, they realized they were close with eachother but not gay, and ellie still uses baylie as a replacement Lev, and still is like... jealous of yuki in a way? not jealous but moreso like, upset that he doesnt get as much lev time anymore, anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk, i know nothing abt ellie or lev but i see two men and need gay in my life XP

So. Time to rant here about Trees by McCafferty, and my oc Heacen.

Heacen is a bad person. Thats where im gonna start this. He is and was a bad person. But he gets better. Characters that get better, they dont have to be forgiven. He was rude and only cared about his ego, and his reputation. He used jericho for that, and made his friends and family dolls to his game. All throughout middle school, and highschool. He would toy with Jericho, use him, and do anything to get attention. His personality is nothing, it disintegrates, from a lovely, outgoing, selfless kid too a monster. He is selfish and unruly, he uses weed as a coping mechanism for his questioning sexuality and gender. Jericho gives him unconditional love, and Heacen thinks, knows, he deserves it. Jericho was breaking slowly, and Heacen didnt care. He lost his friends and his sister and his family but he still had Jericho. He wouldnt lose Jericho. He would abuse and use and hurt people around him, and keep people and take people away.

But that all changes, his ego is torn, like a wrecking ball crashing into a brick wall. Jericho cheats. Heacen doesnt know what to do, he's broken, Heacen cant comprehend that Jericho would want anyone but him. Be cheats with Connie, Jerichos best friend, the one person Heacen couldnt get rid of. Heacen liked Connie, they aere good friends Heacen thought, but not anymore. Heacen has a.. a breaking moment, a falling deeper and deeper into the bottomless pit, and then finally hitting the ground, bones shattering, heart shattered. He takes time, he realizes what he has done, and what he was doing. His reputation was taking over him. He was so obsessed with a good persona, he wasnt focused on being himself. But could he change truly? Did he change? He was desperate for Jericho. He needed attention and he did anything for it. Did Jericho change that by cheating?

Heacen learned a lesson, and climbed his way out of the bottomless pit, he isnt perfect, but he is trying his hardest, in the best way possible to make it up to Jericho. He relearns everything, his gives his whole being to Jericho and his kids, but is that enough?

the horrors chat. IM GOING INSANE WITH MY OCS AHAHAHHA

dude i totally forgot about Trees. All of that is so unrelated. WELP THATS FOR THE NEXT POST 😁