Dude Has A Death Wish

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

He taught him so well

Anyway if this post reaches 30000 notes I'll sit down and professionally film a Goncharov movie scene you can send to people who claim it's not real. This is completely serious, I've made movies before and I'm willing to do it for the memes.

So you’ve definitely answered this before but do you have any codywan fic reccs? I tried to find the original ask but didn’t have any luck

i think i did too BUT i also cant find it lMAO i dont mind doing another, irregardless!! because fic writers ALWAYS deserve more love! this is no means comprehensive, but these are my go to feel goods

through the rain by katierosefun [1/1] - (a history of rain, first meetings, and cody and obi wan) this fic is so sweet and gentle, like a warm bath. its just so lovely and cody is such a precious man in this.

carbon cycle by caffine [9/9] - (p66: obi wan discovers gardening, and cody builds a rebellion) this might be my favorite post 66 AU- which is saying a lot because i live, eat, and sleep post 66 AUs. it takes time to flesh out who both men became after Order 66 and has a lot of fun with force logic, i just love it. also the authors in earth sciences so i feel a solidarity.

It’s Raining Dear by caffeine [1/1] - (modern domestic au) I READ THIS FIC LIKE THRICE WEEKLY. wonderful characterization of both our guys, and its so… it makes me yearn for a wife? cody is so perfectly fleshed out in this! also, not to be too personal but as someone who has gone through having a clost family member dealing with addiction, this fic actually handles it perfectly without being condescending, so thank you.

Classified by skycathcer [1/1] - (the boys discover cody keeps taking flirty calls in mando’a. unrelated, but obi wan’s on an undercover mission) im obsessed with the clones’ rapport in this, its such peak brother behavior. great one shot man makes me wanna keep living my life.

trouble with the curve by jimmytiberius [1/1] (modern: rex convinces cody to switch with him and obi wan tries to score [thats a baseball joke]) have i mentioned before how much i love baseball? has that come up before??? surely??? this fic is great, even if you dont like baseball- though if thats the case i will take your lunch money and shove you in a locker.

Make You Bed (Lie in It) by glimmerglanger [5/5] 🔒 - (cody starts sharing quarters with obi wan) this… this fucking fic man. It made me feel things when i was drunk and sober and thats saying a lot. i think i love the gradual progression of the relationship here and the way they communicate the most, its so well done. like just watch two people fall in love, come on you know you want to.

The Art of Happenstance by galateraGalvanized [1/1] - (cody and obi wan co parent a lightsaber) i mean… come on. There’s a parent trap reference in the TAGS of this fic, you think that wasn’t MADE for me??? this is such a joyful fic for me, like i just enjoy reading it whenever i need a little pick me up.

room for two by thedisasternerd [3/3] - (undercover on a mission, blinded with pining.) you all know that we couldnt get through a rebecca fic rec list without a fake/pretend relationship au. COME ON!!! THIS FIC! i think this might have been the first codywan fic i read??? theyre so good and dumb in this fic, perfection.

thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

It’s canon if I liked it and if I didn’t like it then it’s non-canon.

if you're a carry on fan, please read this!!

as we're all anxiously awaiting the release of wayward son (I know that is understatement of the year but we're going to go with it) I just wanted to reiterate a point I know many people have already made about spoilers!

(I know this is the point at which everyone will start to groan, but please hear me out!!)

not everybody will have access to wayward son on september 24th!

for example, I live in the UK and here, it doesn't come out until october 3rd. (this isn't really much of a difference but it's enough for us to get spoiled!)

in many places it may not come out for months after sept. 24th, and these people do not deserve to be spoiled!!

so please, no spoilers at all until october 24th (a month after the US release)! and after this point, please be very careful to tag your spoilers so that people who have not had the chance to read it won't have to see them!

this is also helpful for slightly slower readers, or readers with very busy schedules! they don't deserve spoilers either!

in conclusion, TAG SPOILERS FOR WAYWARD SON!

it may be a bit more work for you, but you could save multiple people from being spoiled!

thanks :))

(also if you could spread this it would be greatly appreciated!!)

Guillaume Apollinaire, from Aubade (tr. by Donald Revell); Alcools: Poems, 1913

on desire, on needs. november/december.

the crane wife by cj hauser // speeches for dr frankenstein by margaret atwood // the crane wife by cj hauser // hunger makes me by jess zimmerman // the crane wife by cj hauser // a hunger like no ther by sk osborn // cover of war of the foxes by richard siken, art by david de la heras // hunger makes me by jess zimmerman // i had to get out by indigo de souza