The Early Bird Gets The

OMG MY DOG IS MAKING NOISES WHILE HE SLEEPS AND ITS MELTING MY HEART HES SO CUTEEEEEEEE

guys are we ready for another record breaking summer 🥳🥳🥳

Every opinion you see about spiders is either love them or hate them because those of us who generally don’t think about spiders aren’t thinking about spiders

If I hear “I’m a people pleaser” one more time. Whole time they’re a people agitator. A people disappointer. A people exhauster.

JordBallata's fetish art of cartoon characters mid-spin. conceptually pure

*remembers*

*gets sick to my stomach*

i wanna steal my friend’s cat she’s so cute

I go to the grocery store, heading straight for the dairy section. Positioning myself in the middle of the milk shelf, I let out one single long, wailing, cheese-curdling scream. Every single carton of fresh dairy product within hearing distance has now been rendered undrinkable. The poor worker whose only task this shift was to keep me out of the store and most importantly away from the dairy at all costs is fired on the spot. I do not linger to bear witness to the grief and destruction I have caused. Knowing that I caused it is enough.

These petty, pointless acts of meaningless evil are the reason that I will not see the kingdom of heaven.

teachers/professors who give homework over breaks, i hope your coffee burns your tongue a little bit in the morning so that for the rest of your day your mouth feels slightly off