Here's A Little Story For You Silly Buggers:

Here's a little story for you silly buggers:

It starts with this guy and myself. We'd been friends for what, a year and a half? We organised to meet up a few times. It started with cuddles. Fucking score. Then it progressed to getting drunk. And then to making out... (okay maybe not in that order) But when I tell you, this fucker could NOT kiss for the life of him. It probably didn't help that we were shitfaced out of our minds. I was doing all the work, and holy shit! This guy just laid there, like a limp zombie. The only time I managed to get a moan outta him was when I pulled his goddamn oily hair. It was miserable man. Regardless..

One time, after watching Brokeback Mountain and drinking half our weight in cupboard booze, we were both so drunk we could barely walk to the bathroom without leaning on each other. He looked in the mirror and we both realised the massive purple hickey on his neck. Whatdafaq. It's alright though cause I covered it up well with a bit of concealer and powder. Phew, all in the clear, right?

Oh. My. Fucking. God!!!!!

This fucker goes home, takes a nice, hot, steamy shower, and has dinner with his family and forgets to put on more concealer.

THIS FUCKER!! His mum points at his neck and is like "haha, you are gay". HIS GRANDPARENTS WERE THERE. AND HIS OLDER BROTHER. AND HIS DAD. AND HES CHINESE. UGHHHHG!!!!

My love life is miserable. The end!