They Should Invent A Magical Girl Wand That Makes You Chill Tf Out

im like icarus but with better wings so i'll never fall

Longhorn beetle Miku!

fun fact vampire bats are technically venomous bc their saliva contains an anti-coagulant known as draculin that prevents blood from clotting. leeches and mosquitos also have similar functioning venoms :)

Who that man

“I never imagined this even in my wildest fantasies”

well clearly you’re shit at fantasising, i’ve imagined far more self indulgent things

i should be able to oil all the joints my body if they are creaky but alas the mind is willing but the flesh is weak

if i were a supervillain i would make escape rooms and lock people in them. i wouldn’t kill them or anything, id supply them with food and water and such, id just wait and see how long it took them to get out. id also do experiments on people such as kidnapping someone and dumping them on an island with a language completely unfamiliar to them (seperate origin too) and seeing if the critical period of child language acquisition is real. i would never do these things as i do in fact have morals and a general desire for others to be happy HOWEVER if i got hit with evil-serum i would be a mostly harmless but very irritating villain. i just need someone to do my little rat races but hamsters cant understand morse code so alas unless i lose all my morals i am stuck. im like the riddler with a slightly different brand of autism.

"ohhh this strange beast drains the blood of it's victims and looks like a big cat" listen im just down to believe in cryptids as the next guy, more even, but thats the description of so many "strange beasts that couldn't be any known species" at this point and not enough people are addressing the fact that BIG CATS TEND TO GO FOR THROATS, WHEN YOU PEIRCE A THROAT IT TENDS TO DRAIN BLOOD VERY FAST!!!!

^!!!!!!!

also unrelated but i love the word exsanguination, one of my favourite words of all time, along with chutzpah and pizzazz

"hey how are you?" my insides are being scraped out with pottery tools and i am about to throw up on your shoes.

may i put forth the blue-black grassquit? they are finches and i think they fit his whole celestial aesthetic thing. also they look just black in certain light and most black birds are associated with bad luck

it would be an easy pull to say that if eugene were a bird he’d be a crow or raven (or some variety of finch) BUT i think he’s a common loon due to his mysterious and enigmatic nature and the fact that if any bird could talk to ghosts it would be a common loon (their calls are used in horror movies all the time bc of how creepy they are) and also it kind of suits his general color scheme, plus they have a very “spooky and elegant and beautiful but also dumb as rocks” vibe.

if you were dead set on keeping it in family corvidae (and who could blame you!) i’d say a eurasian magpie due to both the aforementioned color scheme consideration and the fact that magpies seem to display above average levels of both intelligence and empathy and are seen as good or bad luck by various cultures (which i think suits eugene yknow he’s complicated!) and often associated with witchcraft.

if you REALLY want it to be a crow (respectable this isn’t a crow hate page EVER do NOT take that away from this post) i’d go with a hooded crow bc he wears a cloak. thank you all for your time pictures of birds below the cut