Hey, [puts My Hand On Your Shoulder, Nods Solemnly] Get A Lip Piercing.

i dont want a fuck-buddy i want a fight-buddy where we mutually consent to occasionally beating the shit out of each other

why did we make moaning sexual....can a guy not writhe in pain in peace....

alt-right people love talking about being red-pilled as if the matrix wasn't every 4rd grader's bisexual awakening. like okay sure, if you're sooooo red-pilled why dont you want to make out with neo & trinity at the same time, like a real awakened red-pilled truth knower?

hey what about the cool things you know /genq

thank you so much for asking!!! i couldn’t decide what one to say so here’s three cool things i know

1. silphium is the name of an ancestor of the modern vegetable, fennel. it was used as a birth-control in ancient rome, but was driven to extinction, mostly due to being grazed upon by livestock. you also may hear some claims that it was a perfect magical side-effect free wonder-plant, but that’s just speculation and should not be taken as accurate. it’s still really cool to me though, it was so important to the time that it appeared on coins like this one ⬇️

2. the slow loris is the only venomous primate. its venom is a combination of the the more mild venom in its saliva and the more intense venom that it secretes from its forearms, it licks its forearms to create more intense than either of them. if a slow loris was to bite your hand it would hurt like hell and make your arm go numb, in some cases it has been known to kill, though mostly bc of anaphylactic shock. they also have no tail which makes them look really silly to me, little fella below ⬇️

3. moons of jupiter are named after jupiter/zeus’s children (and/)or lovers. there are 57 named moons (excluding names like “jupiter LIV" bc come on that doesnt count) and 97 confirmed moons in total. you can tell which moons are retrograde bc they end in “e”. prograde moons will end in “a” or “o”. the 4 largest of the moons are called the galilean moons bc galileo observed them, they are the most well known ones. those four are io, callisto, ganymede, and europa. i like europa bc it has a frozen over ocean and was the first one i ever learned about so here’s a picture of that below, mostly to fulfil my desire for consistency ⬇️

also keep in mind this was all of the top of my head, i double checked some things but mostly i was just remembering so take it all with a grain of salt, if something seems incorrect it might be. anyway that’s some cool things :) thanks for asking!!

a beetle just landed on my breast and then instantly died. not sure if my boob was too powerful or if it sought my bosom as a soft resting place, i hope it was the latter so it may have died at peace

here's one i found a while back while sharing a box of these with my friend, brought me great joy

did you know they started printing contrasting words on either side of sweettarts? like bold and calm, local and global, head and heart? i did not, so you can imagine how startled i was to look down while eating my discount candy and see this:

no sorry i dont really use instagram, i can contact you via ouija board, spirit box, fluctuations in temperature, flickering lights, and certain rituals. i am also on tumblr.

having adhd is all fun and games until you forget to eat because you are too busy sharpening your axe

diversity win! that guy who fell on his ass in the mosh pit is bisexual!

there is a mercy from the universe in me having the stupidest sneeze ever but also not having hay-fever or any animal allergies. i am thankful for it everyday.