I’m The Type Of Person To Put On A Rlly Sweet Scent/lotion, Hop Upto You, Have You Smell My Hands Only

the screen of my laptop literally lights up every time I plug in the charger I could’ve sworn I heard it SING “so this is love mmm alas the light of my life has come home” EVEN THE KEYBOARD HEATS UP AND THE COOLER JUST LOSES ITS COLLECTIVE SHIT and I have to coo in her keys saying “down girl, easy.”

There’s just something about watching people doing lovey dovey things for others , be it a gesture as simple as holding the door for them, giving an extra tip, saying “it’s on me” with those sweetheart smiles , greeting your neighbours on your way to work and arguably forcing your best friend to let loose as I put my playlist on and let them be, I’d much rather be a part of the crowd witnessing something beautiful than the act itself , sort of like fireworks , I want it to stir something in me , sweep me off my feet than the other way around. Maybe its in fear of doing the act, or feeling like I won’t do them justice,nevertheless it’s a warm and bubbly feeling. For now I’m content, for now.

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

You offer so much of yourself to people every day, and you still have more to give. While I’m not trying to encourage you into engaging in any behaviour that could possibly drain you, that requires a lot of effort, time and thought. I just wanted to tell you that you’re really brave to be putting up with everything by the end of the day regardless of what it has coming your way and still shooting back again, even if that means doing nothing ‘supposedly’ productive and laying in bed :)

ARA PACIS Rome, Italy

→ Ara Pacis, also called Ara Pacis Augustae, shrine consisting of a marble altar in a walled enclosure erected in Rome’s Campus Martius in honour of the emperor Augustus and dedicated on Jan. 30, 9 BCE. (x)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, let. People. Feel. Their. Grief. Often at times we don’t want someone to sweep us off our feet. We don’t want someone to put a smile on our face. We don’t want someone to shove our favourite ice cream down our throats or for that matter blast our favourite songs right from the speaker. We want to acknowledge how hurt we are often because we feel as though others would not even spare us a glance, your intention matters a lot, yes it was very sweet of you to do that but it may not have been very smart, be patient and I mean this in the sweetest way possible. Sometimes we’re just not ready. We require some time, that is all

.͙✼̥୭⁺ '🧺🖇🕊 Angst prompts ~

“whyre you here”

“You know .. we could’ve avoided this”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you still feel the same way, do it.”

“Why now ?”

“I’m not your test dummy”

“You emotionally drained me out”

“How was I supposed to know ? ”

“Does it hurt ? Tell me does it hurt like it did then ?”

“IM SORRY OK ? IM SORRY”

“Oh please you don’t have the slightest regret”

“Get back to me when this mask of yours falls off”

“It reminded me of them”

“Some people only remain in your life as a chapter”

“They were my favourite chapter”

“Was I the best you had ?”

“It pains doesn’t it”

“Your smile’s different”

“There’s a lot more to you than what meets the eye”

“Who thought someone as sweet as you could be so bitter”

“Step away from me”

“Don’t do it.”

“Please I’m trying”

“But it turned out that way did it not ?”

“You were sorry , ‘were’ ..”

- - - - - - - - - - - - .͙✼̥୭⁺ '🧺

PIXEL CHIX

The world seems to be ignoring this, so allow me to remind you all:

PEOPLE WITH BPD ARE NOT INHERENTLY ABUSIVE

I've been desperately trying to remember the way I lived or made it through a certain day, and I'm caught between trying to record every second of it or loading my gallery with pictures and holding it close to myself by trusting my peripheral vision, I can’t tell whether im trying to exploit my present, or trying to preserve the ashes of a fire that once soared high, I can’t tell if it robbed me off my sight to capture the moment or left me agape enough to not be able to process anything 

its similar to that particular situation in class, where the teacher’s writing an ideology on the board but you're so engrossed all the while taken aback that its too late to take notes, and you don't trust your memory enough to attempt to rewrite it from scratch, so you turn to your left to ask your deskmate to read it out loud for you but you bite your tongue before you speak because you know they hold a different vision, and your heart races at the prospect of never seeing that glint of passion yonder again.

“to everyone their own perception, to everyone their own vision” to some a curse, to some a gem.

I wish I could remember the past.

It seems silly to me, to not have recorded every moment of that life, that past life before chaos exploded.

How unconscious I was to think it would last forever. I used to live in that past life, wild and happy and confident.

Now, I look around, trying to find my footsteps, trying to figure out who I was, who I used to be, what I used to believe in.

It's in vain.

I can't remember.

And I don't know whether that is a curse or a blessing.

- F. A.

This is the most vulnerable I’ve been the entire year, I’m seriously not over 2021 reaching its peak this quick, hold onto me a little tighter, a little longer