❤ !!

It’s ok if you can’t find the words. It’s ok if your heart feels to heavy in your chest so much so you can feel it sinking further into the void left by those that once were, I will hold it and dig the earth out to plant it in your backyard, for wherever home is, to show you how you love, to show you just how much of this red desire and passionfruit you hold within you, and to make you realise just how sickeningly sweet the aftertaste is and how it makes me want to blanket you with the warmth that it caressed me with, so to say I will show you how you love and love you whilst, I will tell you that’s it’s alright to not want to be stringing the weight of something you can’t afford, I will help you branch out to all the things that you missed and have the one and many nights you need to hold them close for the closure to come, to tell you that you don’t have to stitch your limbs down to someone while they’re anchoring you from fully and completely reaching out to that one version of yourself that respects and holds you. I will show you how you love and love you whilst :)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, let. People. Feel. Their. Grief. Often at times we don’t want someone to sweep us off our feet. We don’t want someone to put a smile on our face. We don’t want someone to shove our favourite ice cream down our throats or for that matter blast our favourite songs right from the speaker. We want to acknowledge how hurt we are often because we feel as though others would not even spare us a glance, your intention matters a lot, yes it was very sweet of you to do that but it may not have been very smart, be patient and I mean this in the sweetest way possible. Sometimes we’re just not ready. We require some time, that is all

You know at times we do overlook the simplicity of a word, and that further leads you to letting it hold the weight of the life on your shoulders. Mistake, not disappointment, failure, agony, disgrace- you know the rest you’ve said it to yourself time and time again without a doubt. Yes you have. Now think about it again, mis-take. You. Missed. A. Take. No more, no less.

I made a mistake a year and a half back, it wasn’t the kind of lie where you hide a bag of chips behind somebody’s back. It was the kind of lie that broke somebody’s trust in you. Eventually it starts to grow on you etching all the way through the small of your back, upto your spine and jamming into your skull, ultimately making you believe that you MUST NOT ever live this down.

You see a reminder is a receipt of your actions and consequences in an event, but what you might not see is that the ink on that paper dries with time, it will go away, there will be a time where you’ll pick it up and you’ll see absolutely nothing,no trace.

You are going to have endless opportunities to beat yourself up over something, but allow yourself to keep it to the short stuff, maybe a brain freeze, or when you miss your bus, a paper cut, biting your tongue when you’re too excited to speak even, so technically it’s all word v0m1t.Now I’m not here to snatch that away from you, you do that all you want, but what about that one time, that split second where you know the night is colder than usual, that split second where you’re more restless than ever, that split second where you’re twisting and turning and the air around you seems to be holding a grip on your breath, and you so desperately wish the night were warmer, if only a little, where you KNOW you’ve got nothing but yourself to hold onto?

Why would you abandon yourself? We know we’ve spoken to ourselves before, we know we’ve sat with ourselves before, but did you make an effort to reach out to that echo inside of you and hold it tight to keep it safe and sound from all the intrusive thoughts peeking through? To keep yourself warm?

Surely you’ve heard “You know what you did back there, and don’t you forget it. This time won’t be any different. I just KNOW you’re going to make the same mistake again, and if you’re too stubborn to risk it again? Who am I to stop you” but what about “you did what you did under the heat of your impulse, neither of us could’ve controlled it. It has been a while and you allowed yourself to let the event sink in with time, you were afraid, and I’m not saying what you did was right or wrong, it was understandable because you were afraid. Give yourself that validation to forgive yourself” you are LEARNING and LEARNING and you LEARN and you LEARN

And maybe that will be your taking your from it, no trophy, no award, no nothing, but your accountability, and your taking, now that’s some fancy stuff right there. I did not deserve to be beat up over an event that happened years back, but I was allowed to be afraid and to let myself feel the pressure, I was allowed to find a way, to BUILD a way out. You are allowed to channel your faith on a belief that pats you on the back and kisses your forehead because that was a very hard time, but you DO get to push through, you do not need permission. You have a RIGHT to.

You get to have just as much liberty as anybody out there who decides to put themselves forth and move forward, always

Just a little taken aback by the fact that we get to sleep amidst the stars

The world seems to be ignoring this, so allow me to remind you all:

PEOPLE WITH BPD ARE NOT INHERENTLY ABUSIVE

Susan Sontag - “Death Kit”

People I believe to be chaotic academia

Van Gogh

Listen to the man speak:

• I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process

• I would rather die of passion than of boredom

• I feel there's nothing more truly artistic than to love people

(He is my spirit animal and I don't accept any comments about it, it's not arguable)

HE PROBABLY LOST PART OF HIS EAR IN A SWORD FIGHT WITH GAUGING???

He painted this:

He looked like this:

JRR Tolkien

• Man came up with The Lord of The Rings during WAR

• And it's ALL a catholic analogy??? He was like "let's invent an entire universe just to yk write my thoughts about my faith (he was a hardcore catholic) and all the traumas of war" instead of just going to therapy?? If this is not chaotic academia I'm done.

• He got beef with Disney bc he already knew they were shady and wouldn't let them make a movie out of TLOTR, he said that he sincerely hated Disney movies

... I recognize his talent, but he has always seemed hopelessly corrupted. Although in most of the 'images' that come from his studies there are admirable or charming passages, the effect of all of them is unpleasant to me. Some have made me nauseous ...

Disney's name is not mentioned in that letter, but it refers to a trickster man who is willing to let the less experienced down, believed to have been in reference to Mary Poppins and the controversy over the PL Travers book adaptation. — Javier Flores for IGN

• Literally invented a language. Literally. Like. For real.

Saint Lawrence

• Guy was grilled alive and said "I'm well done on this side. Turn me over!" and now he's the patron saint of barbecues, cooks, chefs and comedians.

Do you really need any other reason

It is said that Lawrence gave the church’s treasures to the poor and the sick before his arrest

"One of the seven deacons of the city of Rome under Pope Sixtus II who were martyred in the persecution of the Christians that the Roman Emperor Valerian ordered in 258"

And I believe that anyone who has faith is a rebel, so great for him, mostly when being persecuted and discriminated — So Chaotic Academia

I won't stop romanticizing religion freedom? Religion is chaotic academia and you won't ever change my mind

Apparently very smart and sassy but also very kind so

Sherlock Holmes

• ??? Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you.

• Messy af

• and a genius

• I was broken when I was told he didn't exist

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?

My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know >>>>

Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last.

Da Vinci

• the definition of why do one thing

• again, messy af:

• crazy man vibes

• painter, anatomist, architect, paleontologist, artist, botanist, scientist, writer, sculptor, philosopher, engineer, inventor, musician, poet and urban planner

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

"I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."

"Just as food eaten without appetite is a tedious nourishment, so does study without zeal damage the memory by not assimilating what it absorbs."

"Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master."

Frank O'Hara, from Selected Poems; "Mayakovksy"

[Text ID: I love you. I love you, / but I'm turning to my verses / and my heart is closing / like a fist.]

gentle growth is still growth, slow growth is still growth, fast growth is still growth, steady growth is still growth, messy growth is still growth. It’s as simple as that :), growth isn’t linear <3