hate people wanting to shut down conversations about transandrophobia say that trans men and mascs "measurably" experience less violence than trans women and fems
one of the core aspects of transandrophobia is erasure. the rates of violence we face cannot be "measurably" different than anything, because the rates of violence we face are deliberately not measured and erased whenever posssible
If you actually take the threat of forced detransition seriously, then you should recognize "Conservative transphobes don't want to kill transmascs, they just want to detransition them" for the callous and out-of-touch statement that it is.
"Ugh, you're actually lucky they don't want to kill you, they just want to permanently cut you off from gender-affirming care, rape you, trap you in marriage and pregnancy, and force you to live the rest of your life as their property."
Wow, I feel so blessed.
I just realized why trans radfems piss me off so much more than cis ones, cis radfems are idiots who got wrapped in or concluded themselves that being trans is a choice and that the ridged social structures that need a police state to inforce it somehow concerned with biology, TRANS radfems went through a whole ass transition (while saying that trans is short for transition the same way that any other radfem does) and THEN somehow unlearned everything that they and other transfems had to deal with growing up or literally ignore the things that they and other transmascs go through now for some semblance of comfort that they think is more important than not throwing their community under the bus
Yep, they're traitors, through and through
can we please stop using certain names to mock trans men, nonbinary people and trans women yet. Like putting aside the fact that the names emily, aiden, kai and sock don't make good insults at all, you're shitting on a pretty big portion of the trans community by making these names seem like a bad thing, sorry that not everybody chose a ""special and unique"" name buddy.
I've said this before but like I hate that I have literally gone from not thinking hard about transfem positivity posts to even being a little unsure about liking or reblogging them cause I'm like. Yes I agree. But do you extend the same kindnesses to other trans people? Do you think transfems are unique in deserving and needing kindness and care? It's harder to assume good faith of having a transfem only post, especially about things that affect all trans people, when I know and have seen so many people actively and purposefully leave out certain trans people (and this current wave of loud transmasc hate is just one in a long line of intra community bullshit. I have been here before with other identities) I'll never stop agreeing with positivity posts or supporting my sister's and siblings but if nothing else this discourse has left me on edge about people using transfem positivity as a bludgeon
I understand. It's important to acknowledge that you're starting to feel that way so you can work on unlearning it. <3 It is, of course, not a healthy mindset, for yourself or anyone else, but it's not your fault you've been kicked into this kinna fear.
The key thing is to keep surrounding yourself with as many cool transfems as you can. There are many, many more of them than the ones hostile to you, I promise! It can just seem skewed sometimes on social media. The more you focus on the real majority the less tense the association will be and it won't feel like everything for transfems might be against anyone else.
Hey y’all; would be real interested to hear from anyone willing to share and discuss, about other people’s experiences of transandrophobia specifically in fandom spaces.
I guess I’m just trying to find some more solidarity about the issue since fandom is such an escapism hobby and when that gets tainted, it really, really sucks.
Some of my own experiences include (tw: sa mention | tw: dv):
- Getting told I can’t write realistic gay mlm sex scenes because I’m a trans gay man not a cisgender gay man (but the cisgender woman who said it to me can write realistic gay mlm sex??? 🤔 make it make sense)
- Getting told it’s fetishistic for me specifically to write about male characters in anything but platonic relationships
- Getting mocked after mentioning not being able to watch an episode of a show because there was a male rape scene and as a rape survivor that identifies as male, it was too triggering. Cue the ‘men can’t be raped’ and ‘you’re not actually a man if you say you were raped’ comments. Then having a gif of the rape scene in question sent to me via PM as a ‘joke’.
- Talked about having some empathy for a character who experienced intimate partner violence because of my own experience. Getting told by someone relatively prominent in that fandom that it’s different because those are ‘two male characters’ and that I ‘deserved’ the domestic abuse I experienced with my ex because I’m a trans man who ‘tricked’ a gay man into being with me. (For the record my partner was bi and he knew I was trans before we got together, but fuck me I guess!)
OP turned off reblogs, so here's my contribution to the "on what grounds can someone be excluded from a women's space if not gender?" thread.
The answer is, none! The whole idea of a 'women's space' is fucked and anti-feministic.
imagine a politician that fight for equal payment, for women rights and protection, bodily autonomy and just because the politician did a pro trans policy this very same person is thrown under the bus and now is suddenly against women by the TERF crowd, even to a point of appealing to the conservatives against the pro trans law
I wasn't making shit up
This was 2022/23 Nicola Sturgeon hate campaign, TERFs all around britain were campaign against her because she was kinda pro trans, to a point of appealing to Rishi Sunak and the Tories themselves
When we say that TERFs would work with the right wing and throw any pro trans person under the bus, even the ones who are actually helping women, we aren't making shit up
They do
If transmascs were saying "erm transfems being v-coded is just as bad as my dysphoria over not having balls" then people would lose their shit about it (as they should, because it's objectively not true and also an incredibly transmisogynistic thing to say), but somehow it's okay for TRFs to pull out the pitchforks when transmascs say that forced pregnancy as a form of detransition is worse than womb dysphoria???
The double-standards in this community baffle me.
I’m not gonna lie, the whole “what if a big, hairy trans man started using the women’s bathroom? what are TERFs gonna do then?” thing kinda pisses me off being used as some checkmate, because it insinuates that passing trans men would have any kind of power in that situation. If a passing trans man is forced to use the women’s bathroom, you know what will happen? Security will be called on him, he’ll be thrown out, and he’ll be forced to out himself as trans in order to avoid punishment, which will put an even bigger target on his back. He’s still going to be harassed. He’s still going to be forced into an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation, and he probably won’t avoid punishment anyway because the current laws in place are never going to favour any trans person’s defence over a cis person’s.
It also completely ignores trans men who aren’t “big and hairy” and don’t pass enough to be mistaken for a cis man. Non-passing trans men (or even men who look or sound effeminate enough to be suspected) who are forced to use the women’s bathrooms are still at a huge risk of harassment or even violence, especially young trans boys who are forced into their assigned bathrooms at school. Nex Benedict was literally murdered in a girl’s bathroom. Girls and women aren’t these inherently non-violent, peaceful and submissive beings (for one thing, that’s misogynistic). Trans men and boys get beaten up by them too, because most of us pre-T aren’t considered a threat, and we fucking die.
That’s not even to mention the trouble we already have in men’s bathrooms, because if we don’t pass, cis men will interrogate us on whether or not we’re “real men” and then sexually assault us if they discover we’re trans. Corrective rapes that trans men face is not something to be ignored, and I have trans male friends that it’s happened to who are lucky to be alive right now.
Bathroom laws will affect us just as much. The violence that trans women face is something that trans men can also relate to, and both need to be talked about without people categorising all trans men as “big, hairy, strong men able to beat up anyone who tries to threaten them” when that’s not the case like 90% of the time. Acting like passing trans men are just there to make TERFs look stupid, when TERFs are the ones who are violent towards us no matter how much we pass, is just diminishing our experiences.
It's kinda hard to not beef with your own community when people from that community are currently mad at you for existing and talking about your problems. Besides that people in the "anti-transmasculinity" crowd do talk about the issues that trans men & mascs face in society as a whole, not just from other trans people
This is the same logic as "takes two to tango". Refusing to mention intracommunity issues doesn't end those issues or unite the community, it just allows them to fester and for your experiences to be erased against. If you don't fight, yoy're sure to be beaten
If you understand as a trans man/transmasc etc. how upsetting it is to claim that trans men/transmascs etc. are especially and uniquely capable of transmisogyny you should then understand how upsetting it is to claim that trans women/transfems etc. are especially and uniquely capable of anti-transmasculinity.
Cis, perisex people are the main perpetrators of transphobia.
People are going to see "anti-transmasculinity" as transmisogynistic if you spend all your energy on your page complaining about the minority of trans women/ transfems who perpetuate it. And lets be honest, it's easier to call out trans women/ transfems because the internet loves to turn it's backs on trans women/ transfems rather than the cis people saying heinous transphobic shit. They are going to get the wrong idea of this term.
Stop engaging and feeding into the lateral violence and division of our communities. It is not helping anyone, and especially not our cause.
Discourse side of @blunt-force-therapy. Pronouns: it/its
148 posts