Jake Was And Has Never Been A Bad Father, And I'll Die On This Hill. Y'all Be Having Serious Problems

Jake was and has never been a bad father, and I'll die on this hill. Y'all be having serious problems knowing what a bad father is actually like.

Let me explain my point, but feel free to ignore if u want 🤷🏻‍♀️

So, first, the movie from the very beginning let us know as audience that the Sullys, before humans arriving again, had a pretty tight family relationship; they were close, even with Lo'ak, Kiri and Neteyam being already grown up. Jake's sweet, and steady, having games with the kids and being the ultimate malewife and dad UNTIL, as I've already said, humans arrive to Pandora. He looks horrified, he knows what's about to happen, and we eventually watch how humans start to burn and turn everything into ashes. Then, the 1 year time jump appears, and he's already the big bad Marine leader that y'all call "a bad father" but, being honest? I don't blame him.

Before Pandora Jake had nothing. He was alone, crippled, and living on a dying earth. No family, no lovers, no actual friends. Pandora gave him everything, so he knew what humans coming back to Pandora meant for him and his family. For him and everything he had built the last years.

He already went through war with humans. He already saw, and knew, what they were capable of. At the beginning, he had nothing to lose, and even then he gave it all to defend Pandora and its people. Now, he had children and a family of his own with the woman he loved. Imagine knowing that not only you could lose your home, but your family too.

Jake made a lot of mistakes in that year, that's for sure, but those mistakes don't make him a bad father straight away. He's allowed to commit mistakes, especially since he was actually trying to keep everyone safe.

Making Lo'ak and Neteyam call him sir, and have them practically being perfect little soldiers at the age of 14/15 wasn't an A+ parenting behavior, even I found it annoying, but it was understandable. Jake even says in the comics that even though he wasn't human anymore, he still felt like a Marine. So, afraid, scared of what humans could do now, he decides to make his kids "stronger" in a way of protecting them for the dangers that came from the outsides of Pandora, for a more human kind of danger, in the only way he knew; as a Marine. Because even when Pandora had their ways to make kids into men, no Pandoran kid is fully prepared for the threat that the sky people actually represent.

And no, I'm not saying he's innocent; he was rude to Lo'ak, and put such a responsibility over Neteyam's shoulders as if he wasn't just a year older than his brother but, be fr, you can't blame Jake for being afraid of his kids lives.

No one is born knowing how to be a good parent, neither a good son. Jake was wrong on how hard he was on them, yes, even Neytiri tells him that, but then he answers "i thought we lost him" (about Neteyam) showing how SCARED he was at the moment, and how much he cared about the kids. And at that scene we literally get to understand that Jake started to split things up as soon as he saw humans coming to Pandora, as a way of keeping everyone "safe".

Now, Jake was already stressed knowing that everything was falling down to pieces because of HIM. His kids had already put themselves in danger by going out and crossing paths with Quaritch's team, and nothing seemed to go for the better, not even at the Metkayina's clan. Jake was still the target, he was the one actually being hunted; he knew that his mere existence put the clans, his family and anyone near him in danger, and that made everything harder. Because not only he had to be a father but a leader and a warrior too. Now, think about being in his place and having your kids putting themselves in even more danger as if danger itself wasn't already that worrying.

Then, tragedy happens and Jake suddenly blames Lo'ak for Neteyam's death. He's heartbroken, and doesn't think about the impact his words might have over his son. The fight occurs, and Jake's left injured and way too weak to save himself from drowning.

Lo'ak comes to save him, teaching him how to breath and telling him about the way of water. Jake sees his son, the one whom he had been the "worst father" for, being not just a kid but a man. He sees his only remaining son begging for him to not give up his life, telling him "I can't lose you too". Payakan helps them, also making Jake realize that Lo'ak was always right about the Tulkun, showing him once again that he had been failing way too much when his kids needed him the most.

Jake, lost at words, knowing how much he had fucked everything up, tells Lo'ak "I see you, son" as a way of saying "I understand how wrong I was, and how hard I was with you. I get it now, and I recognize it too. You're important to me, more than what you think" and Lo'ak's face shows relief, even peace. Meaning that both of them had learned their lesson.

We get to hear Jake narrating how he knew now that them being a family was their biggest weakness, but at the same time their biggest strength and fortress. So, at the end of the movie, and sadly after Neteyam's death, Jake gets to see that what he thought at the beginning was the right thing to do, was actually wrong. He realizes that the best way of keeping each other safe is by being a strong and united family again; no marine training, nor military codenames and ways of addressing. They just needed to be strong TOGETHER, not apart. He had to be their father, not their boss.

And I might not have children of my own, but I had to take care of my little brother since I was little, I practically raised him, and I used to be rough with him as a way of protect him of what I went through when I was his age all because I was afraid. I wanted to put him in a glass container to protect him from everything and everyone, even if that meant sucking at "parenting".

Jake made a lot of mistakes all because of fear, and that's valid. So I'll not take anyone calling him a bad father, not when he literally tried everything he could without going mad.

Me when I saw the Sully kids

vs

When I heard them call Jake Sir and saw him completely suck at parenting