Remembered The Phrase "[someone] Is Turning In His Grave", As A Way Of Saying That Someone Who's Now

Constantine: I hate to say it. But we might need help from... The Ghost King.

The last phrase is whispered with a depth of terror the heroes assembled had never heard before from the man who fucked demons.

Batman: the ghost king?

Constantine, gravely: yes. I don't know much about the new one- just that ue managed to defeat the fearsome Pariah Dark- the king feared by all the biggest bads in all the Realms of heaven, hell, and everything in between, before and beyond. In single combat.

Wonder woman frowned, : so.... can you summon him?

Constantine shifts uneasily: summoning the ghost king- particularly one as fearsome as Phantom- is quite the risk, it could get us all killed in a moment- or worse. He is the ghost king, after all.

Impulse frowns. The name 'Phantom'and 'Ghost King' was familiar... but why... he turned to the side, to spot Rook (Tim) napping quietly in his seat, a can of zesti by his info pack- and that was when it clicked.

He nudged Tim. "Hey. Hey Tim?" He whispered.

"Mm?"

"Isn't that the guy you were fucking?"

Rook raised his head to stare blankly into Impulse's eyes. "What?"

"You know, the person you and uhhh- code name... fuck it. You and Bernard fucked?"

At this point, Clark raised an eyebrow at the whispered conversation, whilst Kon was hiding his grin.

Rook continued to stare blankly. "You're going to need to be more specific. "

Impulse sighs, irritated, "Phantom. The fearsome and deadly, possibly evil ghost king?" He gestures to where Constantine was drawing up a variety of different reasons why he shouldn't be forced to make a summoning circle to call Phantom.

Tim frowned at the board. "Oh. Hmm. Well he wasn't the evil ghost king when i was dating him that was his evil alternate future self."

This statement caused more than a few heroes to turn his way, eyebrows raised.

Nightwing: ....anything you wanna say there, Rook?

Rook glared at Impulse before rolling his eyes before the domino, "nah just talking about how I ficked the guy Constantine is stressing over."

The statement silenced the entire table. Constantine glanced between Rook, the board, and back again.

Constantine: you....fucked... the ghost king???

Tim: well I mean it was out of office hours so was it really fucking a king, or-

Constantine: EVEN I WOULDNT DO THAT

Tim: well I certainly hope you wouldn't. He's a bit young for you.

Various different heroes snort or stiffle laughter at the statement.

Nightwing, frowning: R, I thought you were dating B?

Tim turns horrified eyes to Nightwing, "YOU THOUGHT I WAS DATING OUR FATHER????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-"

Nightwing: oh, no, I meant your boyfriend!

Tim: BATMAN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING ACTUAL FUCKING HELL-

Nightwing: no no no B as in the conspiracy theorist boyfriend.

Tim: oh. Yeah I am.

Nightwing: but you fucked-

Tim: dated, actually. Dating, technically.

Nightwing: you know I never thought I'd have to have this conversation with you, Rook , but cheating is bad.

Nightwing turns to Batman helplessly, "help me out here B...atman."

Bruce raises an eyebrow in response. "Rook your brother is right."

Tim raises an eyebrow. "I'm not cheating. Anyway, why do we want to call Danny?"

Constantine gestures vaguely at the monitors and they flare to life with a live video feed of Undergrowth ripping a city to the ground.

Tim: huh. Just a sec.

He turns to his phone and taps for a moment

Tim: he'll be here in a moment,

Danny, in full king regalia, behind Constantine: hey R. What's up? OH are you the guy whose soul is owned by like a gazillion other people?

Constantine gulps.

Danny grins: can I have your soul?? Only I kinda want to fight in the bidding fight-

Constantine: the what fight?

Danny: you know, for your soul? May the best and most dangerous individual win?

Constantine has suddenly gone very, very pale.

has this been done before? I mean, spoilers for the demon realm arc

calm down guys, it's only the 8th

And we're back with it!

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

I know you took my ribs, gimme them back you thief I had them first

I think it would be fun if Dani & Kon met sometime during Kon’s stay in Hawaii & have a gc called “weirdest test tube babies I’ve ever seen”

But also Bart, Kon & Dani being apart of the “we’re actually only like 2 years old so excuse our social ineptitude” club.

That’s all.

Sorry bro I just gave them away to an anon that wanted to cronch on some bones :(

This is beautiful. Bart, Dani, and Kon would be the most chaotic group to ever exist. They’d fully “Yes, And-“ each other’s dumb ideas and with two virtually indestructible people in the crew? Oh man it gets stupidly dangerous real fast and somehow they manage to come out of each shenanigan unscathed

Silly little Dead Silent idea where Cass, as Black Bat is just finishing up patrol with the others when she suddenly finds herself overcome by strange yet for some reason familiar instincts.

Those instincts have her taking off to follow an invisible trail only she can sense, eventually leading her to what appears to be a glowing meta boy.

Black Bat doesn't even think, just immediately goes into attack mode and proceeds to beat the "meta" boy into submission, the guy retaliating just as fiercely.

The only reason the rest of the Bat clan aren't stepping in is because Red Hood, having a weird feeling he knows what's happening says not to interfere.

It all becomes clear once Black Bat successfully gets the glowing guy down, then proceeds to pick the now docile "meta" up and carry him in her arms in a rather possessive manner.

The only explanation the Bat clan gets from her is "Mine now."

can someone mansplain the entire history of Billy Batson Captain Marvel, the Shazamily, and Fawcett City to me??? or at least like. . . the main parts

Half ghosts can't sleep normally. Ghosts don't need to rest for long and they don't sleep the way mortals do. It's more like torpor. Halfas also needs to go through torpor but it's not easy for warm-blooded creatures to do it. They need a specific environment. They naturally want a cold environment that has a lot of pressure on them. Just like if they were buried in their grave.

Danny has to deal with it somehow. He uses about 10 weighted blankets and as many frozen compresses as he can get. It's not working well but it's something.

That is until he had a run in with Mr.Freeze. Being locked in a small container meant to freeze him to death slowly until Batman came was not bad at all. Being locked in the equivalent of a frozen coffin gave Danny the best sleep he had had in a long time. A bit more pressure and it would be perfect for him. Just like being entombed in the cold dark earth where he felt like he belonged.

A few glimpses into Danny and Billy's lives.

Marvel: *bursts into the Hall of Justice* Phantom! You destroyed our children?!

Danny: Yes, I did.

Justice League: *shocked silence*

Marvel: Why?!

Danny: They were dead, I didn't want them to rot before my eyes.

Marvel: I could have brought them back to life!

Danny: Darling, that's cheating.

Marvel: No, it's not. You could have at least let me say goodbye!

Danny: Honey, we've been through this a hundred times. You'll cry for a week again, and then you'll get new ones. And then you'll start all over again.

Billy and Danny were talking about their plants, which Billy was very persistent in growing, but they still died. The League doesn't know about this and looks at the two in shock. Since when does Marvel have children besides the five and Dani? Why are they DYING?! And why is the Phantom so calm about it?! And does Marvel really make babies again when the old ones die?! He's not innocent?! And wait... Marvel can resurrect people?! Batman's paranoia has increased many times over.

Danny and Billy: *loudly arguing in a long-extinct language*

Flash: What are they arguing about?

Voltage (Freddy): The usual quarrels of ordinary people. Marvel threatens to divorce the Phantom, who actively denies his guilt.

Flash: Wait! The Phantom and Marvel are married?!

Voltage: Yeah, about a year. I thought you knew. The Captain took a month off for his honeymoon then.

Hal: Kid, we didn't know anything about this! Cap didn't tell us anything!

Batman: What's the reason for the fight?

Voltage: Something about another custody battle. Don't pay attention. They can always quarrel over trifles, but then they always kiss. I advise you not to be near this moment. It's disgusting.

The League looks in shock at the already kissing Phantom and Marvel. The Voltage winces and flies away. The heroes exchange glances and slowly leave.

Marvel: *covered in black blood* Darling! Guess who's back from jail!

Danny: You work there. And you fought with Zonus again? Don't come near me, wash up.

Marvel: But I love you so much.

Danny: *hisses and flies away*

Marvel: *laughs and runs after him*

Superman: He fought with Zonus?

Ms. Marvel: He does. The New Gods are betting on them.

Superman: What?

Klarion: Ugh, I hate it when they do that.

Zatanna: Do they flirt a lot?

Klarion: Every damn time. I feel sick watching them.

Nightwing: Shit! They went horizontal! Everybody get out! Get out!

DP x DC: The Dead Man at the Diner

Danny has a hard time maintaining regular jobs. At this point he’s pretty much nocturnal after years of being attacked at night, and possibly just part of his ghostly nature. He’s odd, and a basic google search brings up various news articles about him getting into fist fights with the mayor of a small town. He barely passed high school and college was out of the question, so who in their right mind would hire him?

What’s a job that would work with his odd hours, doesn’t require a college education, and a possible criminal record and a tendency to be ready to throw down is NOT an issue?

Danny is a cook at a 24hour Diner in Gotham

The man just needs to be able to flip a burger and make breakfast food and doesn’t mind a gun in the face because he’s well used to it. So what if the robber was dumb enough to pull that shit next to the fryer. If he didn’t want something to end up extra crispy he should have stayed out of Danny’s kitchen

Just think of all the folks he would meet.

Sure, the vigilantes of the city would be obvious and you can’t tell me spoiler isn’t dragging folks there to eat. Maybe they notice some weird things about the cook, like he doesn’t breath, his eyes reflect light like an animal’s, or the time he accidentally cut off a finger and it was fine the next day, or maybe the time a robber shot him and he just... didn’t react

Something is weird about that guy

And of course the person I think would love a jersey style diner breakfast at all hours: Harley Quinn

Technically she’s not supposed to bring the hyenas in, health code and all that, but everyone else is to freaked out to tell her and Danny doesn’t care. Frankly he spends his break petting them and they like him because he smells like food.