Ides of March gonna be real bittersweet this year
I love talking with neurotypical people about my executive dysfunction because I'm like "yeah there's this invisible wall in my head that I'm incapable of getting past no matter what I do and it stops me from doing things" and they're like what the actual fuck
Meanwhile other neurodivergents are like
Just remembered a dream I had last night.
(+18 mentions, be warned)
So, the dream was about Gru and the minions, right? So, Gru was making the minions build a new place, and for some weird reason every few minutes while in the base, Gru would close his eyes and the next thing I knew he's half naked and a bunch of minions are opening his legs for another minion to enter him... Yea.... It was a weird dream....
Have fun with the mental image!!
The kids of Casper high were going through a slight religion change. You see most kids in Casper high were fans of Phantom and the hero seemed to be spending time with alot of greek figures. Many people had seen him in the park with a tall Greek ghost woman called pandora, and if that was thee Pandora then phantom's dog, cujo, must be a hellhound. So if Phantoms was greek or a Greek spirit them maybe that could work for other people to.
It started during a football game and Dash saying a quick prayer to Ares for strength and Athena for strategy. That would work right? Or maybe Nikke? He didn't know but they won so I must have worked!
Then it was Star. Who was having trouble with a poetry project from Mr.Lancers English class. So a quick prayer to Apollo. And OMG look!! She got an A!
During a big thunder storm Kwan sent a prayer to Zeus for clear weather. Then it cleared! So it must have worked.
Mr.Lancer got wind of this, so when the teachers went out for a couple of drinks and a small party. He sent a small prayer to Dionysus for a good time. He woke up the next day with a huge hangover and a new girlfriend.
Walking down the hall Dash sent a prayer to Ares, then went after the 3 losers. After a quick fight he knocked Fenturd out clean.
Danny woke up later thinking He'd been slammed through building and cratered into concrete. How did DASH knock him out?!
Diana Prince, also known as Wonder Woman, was ecstatic! The Gods of Olympus were acting apon the world once again. But why were they so centered on a town called Amity Park?
Bruce Wayne, aka the Dark Knight, aka the absolute worst, has this little training exercise that the entire family unanimously despises. He calls it “building resilience” or “preparing for the unexpected.” The rest of the family calls it Bruce’s stupid sleep-deprivation kidnapping game.
Here’s how it works: Bruce waits until you’re at your absolute lowest—after a grueling week of non-stop patrols, minimal sleep, and a near-catastrophic Gotham meltdown. Once you’ve finally collapsed into a dead sleep (and sometimes, after he’s sneakily slipped you a sedative to make sure you stay asleep), he picks you up, sticks you on a plane, and drops you off in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it’s a remote village in the mountains; sometimes it’s the bustling heart of a city on the other side of the planet. The challenge? Find your way home.
Occasionally, Bruce will leave you with some supplies: a wallet, maybe a burner phone, a little equipment if he’s feeling generous. But more often than not, you’ll wake up with absolutely nothing. No money, no ID, no tools—just the clothes on your back and a pounding headache from whatever the hell Bruce drugged you with.
Some highlights of Bruce’s 'training' include:
• Dick waking up in the middle of Germany with nothing but his expired driver’s license and missing socks (He'd hidden cash in them, so he can only guess Bruce found it).
• Steph regaining consciousness in Iceland with a crumpled €5 euro and zero idea how to exchange it for local currency.
• Damian waking up in the middle of the Sahara Desert. No gear. No money. Nothing but sand and the distant memory of Bruce’s smug face.
• Tim once took over a month to get home from a tiny town in Thailand. By the time he made it back to Gotham, he’d created an entire fake identity, complete with forged documents, an elaborate backstory, and several new international contacts. Bruce called it “impressive.” Tim called it traumatizing.
• Cass, of course, took this completely in stride. Woke up in India, dismantled a shady criminal organization she stumbled across, and then casually returned to Gotham two days later like nothing had happened. When asked how she managed it, she just shrugged.
• Duke waking up in the Grand Canyon with his phone at 1% and a granola bar in his pocket. He got home in less than a day, having hitched a ride, bartered his way onto a train, and charmed a group of tourists into helping him. He also got himself a pet chameleon on the way, somehow.
• Jason refuses to talk about his turn, but based on the suspicious amount of diplomatic immunity he now has in several Eastern European countries, it’s safe to say he didn’t play by Bruce’s rules.
If they’re lucky, Bruce leaves them somewhere within the U.S., in which case the Wayne name might help speed up the process. But outside of the States? Forget it. Flashing a “Wayne” credit card can cause more problems than it solves (That's if they're even lucky enough to have a credit card to flash in the first place).
To the rest of the family, this whole thing is less of a “training exercise” and more of a weird, sadistic game Bruce plays when he thinks they’re getting too soft. And no matter how many times they complain, Bruce insists it’s “for their own good.” Because of course he does.
The thing is, they all do get home. Eventually. And yeah, maybe they come back stronger or sharper or whatever excuse Bruce uses to justify it. But at what cost? (Mostly their sanity and a burning hatred of international airline fees.)
Still, the Bats have learned to adapt. They’ve formed their own set of unspoken rules:
1. Always keep some emergency cash hidden somewhere on your person (And hope Bruce doesn't find it, because he will take it).
2. Never, ever fully trust that glass of water Bruce hands you after patrol.
3. And if you wake up in the middle of nowhere, the first step is simple: curse Bruce Wayne’s name as loudly and creatively as possible. Then get to work.
Because at the end of the day, they will get home. And they’ll probably sucker-punch Bruce the second they do.
Dick Grayson is one of if not the most respected person in the hero community
Tim isn’t as well known in the hero community but is respected and feared In the villain community
So when Nightwing and Red Robin team up people in the hero and villain community are terrified
Nightwing although is more responsible when his baby siblings are around that responsibility gets canceled out because Red Robin’s hero worship has him doing his BEST plans so he can impress Nightwing
And Nightwing is doing his craziest stunts to impress Red Robin (Dick is totally aware of Tim’s hero worship and thinks it adorable)
It leads to the most batshit (ha) crazy plans happening and goons will literally let them go past whatever they are guarding so they don’t feel the wrath of two of the scariest robins
And it only gets worse when red hood gets involved…
Please do! I need more Captain Marvel fics and I've already exhausted all of Ao3 and most of Tumblr so I need more fics to satiate my little book goblin mind that decided to focus on Captain Marvel for a while(it's been 3 months, send help-) and if I don't feed it in time, my productivity levels will go down to hell
Heroes at the watchtower: Why are they staring at each other? I hope they get along..
14-year-old Danny in his adult ghost king form:
14-year-old Billy in his adult Shazam form:
DP x DC: The Dead Man at the Diner
Danny has a hard time maintaining regular jobs. At this point he’s pretty much nocturnal after years of being attacked at night, and possibly just part of his ghostly nature. He’s odd, and a basic google search brings up various news articles about him getting into fist fights with the mayor of a small town. He barely passed high school and college was out of the question, so who in their right mind would hire him?
What’s a job that would work with his odd hours, doesn’t require a college education, and a possible criminal record and a tendency to be ready to throw down is NOT an issue?
Danny is a cook at a 24hour Diner in Gotham
The man just needs to be able to flip a burger and make breakfast food and doesn’t mind a gun in the face because he’s well used to it. So what if the robber was dumb enough to pull that shit next to the fryer. If he didn’t want something to end up extra crispy he should have stayed out of Danny’s kitchen
Just think of all the folks he would meet.
Sure, the vigilantes of the city would be obvious and you can’t tell me spoiler isn’t dragging folks there to eat. Maybe they notice some weird things about the cook, like he doesn’t breath, his eyes reflect light like an animal’s, or the time he accidentally cut off a finger and it was fine the next day, or maybe the time a robber shot him and he just... didn’t react
Something is weird about that guy
And of course the person I think would love a jersey style diner breakfast at all hours: Harley Quinn
Technically she’s not supposed to bring the hyenas in, health code and all that, but everyone else is to freaked out to tell her and Danny doesn’t care. Frankly he spends his break petting them and they like him because he smells like food.
I know you took my ribs, gimme them back you thief I had them first
I think it would be fun if Dani & Kon met sometime during Kon’s stay in Hawaii & have a gc called “weirdest test tube babies I’ve ever seen”
But also Bart, Kon & Dani being apart of the “we’re actually only like 2 years old so excuse our social ineptitude” club.
That’s all.
Sorry bro I just gave them away to an anon that wanted to cronch on some bones :(
This is beautiful. Bart, Dani, and Kon would be the most chaotic group to ever exist. They’d fully “Yes, And-“ each other’s dumb ideas and with two virtually indestructible people in the crew? Oh man it gets stupidly dangerous real fast and somehow they manage to come out of each shenanigan unscathed
“Welcome to BatBurger. Home of the BatBurger. How may I take your order?”
“With a smile of course!” The Joker cackled as he pulled out a canister and threw it at the cashier.
“Nuh-uh.” The cashier deadpans before throwing the canister back.
“The fuck you mean ‘Nuh-uh’?” Joker yelled throwing the canister back.
“Don’t wanna.” The cashier replied while smacking the canister out of the air and directly into the Joker's hand.
“Why you little!” The Joker threw the canister on the ground and lunged at the cashier.
🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕕🕖
“And what happened after that?” Commissioner Gorden asked the young man in front of him.
“He tripped.” The young man said with a shrug.
“Uh-huh.” Gorden hummed as he looked over where the body bag was being pulled out of the restaurant. “And the holes?”
“I guess the canister finally went off. It's such a shame really. I didn’t even get to deliver a decent punchline.”
“Right… And what was your name again?”
“Oh, it’s Danny. Danny Fenton. But you won’t be able to find me if you look me up.” The young man, Danny, said with a shit-eating grin.
“You know you’re not supposed to admit to going by a fake identity right?” Gordan asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Ya, but it is my real name. You just won’t be able to find it.” Danny said as he shifted his gaze to the shadowed figgier in the nearby alleyway. “Not even you, Big Bat. But you're free to try.”
“Hn.” Batman grunted before stepping back further into the shadows and disappearing.
“Why do I feel like you are about to be… and he’s gone. Why do I even bother?” Gordan sighed as he looked away from where the Bat vanished and back to where Danny was supposed to be. He grumbled as he put his notebook away and started for his car. His car, that now had a little green sticky note on it.
doomed yaoi this doomed yuri that what about the ones left behind. what about the two vertices of a triangle whose apex was ripped off. what about the bitter, resentful, codependent bitches with a shared crater in their soul the size of a missing third, clinging to eachother in the aftermath of their loss desperately trying (or refusing) to move on. people who press together like the lips of a wound stitched shut
Bella / Minor / Any Pronouns I'll mostly reblog stuff and the stuff I reblog WILL be random. Follow at your own risk.
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