You Know A Fic Is Good When It Has This

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

Some more Jason please enjoy the crumbs

Only day you can reblog this

Black History Month is coming and Duke Thomas is preparing to be a menace. He can get away with anything no matter the time of year, but February is when he gets to be ridiculous and nobody will call him on it.

“Your patrol report is late, Signal.”

“You want me to fill out the white man’s paperwork? In this holy month of melanin?”

Batman just blinks and turns back to the computer. “Understood, my apologies.”

Tim wants to choose what they’re ordering for dinner.

“It’s my turn to pick and I want Thai.”

Duke doesn’t even object to Thai, but this is his time to shine. Well, shine more than usual. “Why am I being subjected to the white man’s will?”

Tim nods and holds out his phone. “I apologize for my outburst, king.”

Duke orders Thai anyway.

Damian has an understanding of history akin to someone with advanced degrees in the subject, so he wants Duke to feel celebrated and honored every February. He’s also a gremlin and has Duke’s blessing to engage in some nonsense.

“I will not be participating in these…” Damian trails off and glances across the table at Duke, who gives him a thumbs up and an encouraging nod. “…these white man activities. They are oppressive and offensive to my ancestors.”

Dick and Jason exchange amused looks while Bruce’s face takes on a confused expression.

“You’re white,” the older man retorts. “Half, anyway. So half of your ancestors are the white man. And cleaning up after the dog you asked for isn’t exactly—“

“Sounds oppressive,” Jason interjects. “Not a good look, Bruce.”

“Not a good look,” Dick agrees.

Bruce sighs and leaves the table to clean up Ace’s mess in the foyer.

“Well done,” Duke laughs. “The ancestors will be pleased.”

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”

a pet peeve of mine in fantasy is when they talk about the Magic(tm) like studying the magic, having the magic, or like, supernatural powers but where everyone has superpowers in that civilization. and. and.

elves wouldn't say "we have superior vision", they'd say "yeah humans are practically blind".

in my pocket i have a piece of metal with a little window that is powered by the energy of running water and that contains all the information in the world

and we call that a cell phone. i play project makeover on mine.

any animal would call that Magic(tm). be we don't. because it's not magic for us.

do you get me?

I want a fic where Danny is adopted but not by the JL but a villian. BUT! It is a very minor villian to the point where people are absolutely gobsmacked when he calls the villian dad, like everyone just stops what they're doing and watch the interaction. Bonus points if they find out that Danny is an absolute powerhouse monster and wonder what entity away from God's light did they fuck to have him.

"That's your son?"

"Yes."

"The glowing white haired teen?"

"Yes."

"The same glowing white haired teen that just froze a star and then ate it?..."

"Yes! And?"

"THE FUCK YOU MEAN "AND?", HE JUST ATE A STAR!!"

___________

Danny in a less than human form: *screeching*

"Scream all you want but you still have school tomorrow and you're going."

Danny: *leaves taking the cold and weirdness with him*

"Sorry about that, he gets a bit cranky when he has to take a nap."

The rest of the villians in the meeting terrified: Oh...

___________

"It would much easier if you got your son to help with your task."

"Absolutely fucking not! He's not going to do ANY vigilante/villian bullshit if I have any say in it."

"You have the ultimate weapon at your side and you-"

"My son is blessing not a weapon, I advise you to NEVER speak about him like that ever again."

____________

Villian, threatening JL Hero: Tell your kid stay away from my son, he doesn't need any of that shit yall bring into his life.

JL Hero: What?

____________

Personally I like to imagine this somebody as Kite-Man but that's just me, use whoever yall like.

Be wary. I have strewn various traps around this post

Guess who got a cold? Meeeee!! Guess who threw up? Also me!! Guess who also almost fainted?? That's right, me!! One last time, guess who spent all day sleeping because her blood pressure was low and her stomach was feeling like cramping?? If you guessed me, you'd be correct!!

Update: I've thrown up again. Though I was fine but...

Shazam can be terrifying when he wants to right? I mean the guy is the CHAMPION OF MAGIC and has the power of the gods, of certain gods. More importantly, he has zues.

Why hasn't anyone had him make thunderstorms when angry and make thunder so loud you'll go deaf. Why isn't he making storms or playing with the atmospheric pressure when mad.

I am imagining thunder bringer with the cause being a cult messed with danny and hurt him while trying to make him obey them. I want terrifying shazam. I want Shazam and phantom supremacy. I want Shazam being an absolute menace and reminding wveryobe why he's the champion. I want the gods occasionally messing with them. I want aphrodite giving phantom tips on how to woo him. I want her making their love story.

I mostly want a pissed off overprotective Shazam and hurt Danny fic . I want Shazam to unintentionally get on batmans contingency plan list and take the number one spot.