Okay So I Finished Checking If We Were Friends In Every Universe And, Uh, It Turns Out We're Only Friends

I've been having a big craving(+ a random dream) for a 2018 GLMV but make it GL2MV or GCMV and not too cringe. Like, keep the plot same but change the characters' personalities juuust enough to take it out of the cringe zone.

Date her mom

this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔

I know you took my ribs, gimme them back you thief I had them first

I think it would be fun if Dani & Kon met sometime during Kon’s stay in Hawaii & have a gc called “weirdest test tube babies I’ve ever seen”

But also Bart, Kon & Dani being apart of the “we’re actually only like 2 years old so excuse our social ineptitude” club.

That’s all.

Sorry bro I just gave them away to an anon that wanted to cronch on some bones :(

This is beautiful. Bart, Dani, and Kon would be the most chaotic group to ever exist. They’d fully “Yes, And-“ each other’s dumb ideas and with two virtually indestructible people in the crew? Oh man it gets stupidly dangerous real fast and somehow they manage to come out of each shenanigan unscathed

Constantine: I hate to say it. But we might need help from... The Ghost King.

The last phrase is whispered with a depth of terror the heroes assembled had never heard before from the man who fucked demons.

Batman: the ghost king?

Constantine, gravely: yes. I don't know much about the new one- just that ue managed to defeat the fearsome Pariah Dark- the king feared by all the biggest bads in all the Realms of heaven, hell, and everything in between, before and beyond. In single combat.

Wonder woman frowned, : so.... can you summon him?

Constantine shifts uneasily: summoning the ghost king- particularly one as fearsome as Phantom- is quite the risk, it could get us all killed in a moment- or worse. He is the ghost king, after all.

Impulse frowns. The name 'Phantom'and 'Ghost King' was familiar... but why... he turned to the side, to spot Rook (Tim) napping quietly in his seat, a can of zesti by his info pack- and that was when it clicked.

He nudged Tim. "Hey. Hey Tim?" He whispered.

"Mm?"

"Isn't that the guy you were fucking?"

Rook raised his head to stare blankly into Impulse's eyes. "What?"

"You know, the person you and uhhh- code name... fuck it. You and Bernard fucked?"

At this point, Clark raised an eyebrow at the whispered conversation, whilst Kon was hiding his grin.

Rook continued to stare blankly. "You're going to need to be more specific. "

Impulse sighs, irritated, "Phantom. The fearsome and deadly, possibly evil ghost king?" He gestures to where Constantine was drawing up a variety of different reasons why he shouldn't be forced to make a summoning circle to call Phantom.

Tim frowned at the board. "Oh. Hmm. Well he wasn't the evil ghost king when i was dating him that was his evil alternate future self."

This statement caused more than a few heroes to turn his way, eyebrows raised.

Nightwing: ....anything you wanna say there, Rook?

Rook glared at Impulse before rolling his eyes before the domino, "nah just talking about how I ficked the guy Constantine is stressing over."

The statement silenced the entire table. Constantine glanced between Rook, the board, and back again.

Constantine: you....fucked... the ghost king???

Tim: well I mean it was out of office hours so was it really fucking a king, or-

Constantine: EVEN I WOULDNT DO THAT

Tim: well I certainly hope you wouldn't. He's a bit young for you.

Various different heroes snort or stiffle laughter at the statement.

Nightwing, frowning: R, I thought you were dating B?

Tim turns horrified eyes to Nightwing, "YOU THOUGHT I WAS DATING OUR FATHER????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-"

Nightwing: oh, no, I meant your boyfriend!

Tim: BATMAN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING ACTUAL FUCKING HELL-

Nightwing: no no no B as in the conspiracy theorist boyfriend.

Tim: oh. Yeah I am.

Nightwing: but you fucked-

Tim: dated, actually. Dating, technically.

Nightwing: you know I never thought I'd have to have this conversation with you, Rook , but cheating is bad.

Nightwing turns to Batman helplessly, "help me out here B...atman."

Bruce raises an eyebrow in response. "Rook your brother is right."

Tim raises an eyebrow. "I'm not cheating. Anyway, why do we want to call Danny?"

Constantine gestures vaguely at the monitors and they flare to life with a live video feed of Undergrowth ripping a city to the ground.

Tim: huh. Just a sec.

He turns to his phone and taps for a moment

Tim: he'll be here in a moment,

Danny, in full king regalia, behind Constantine: hey R. What's up? OH are you the guy whose soul is owned by like a gazillion other people?

Constantine gulps.

Danny grins: can I have your soul?? Only I kinda want to fight in the bidding fight-

Constantine: the what fight?

Danny: you know, for your soul? May the best and most dangerous individual win?

Constantine has suddenly gone very, very pale.

Half ghosts can't sleep normally. Ghosts don't need to rest for long and they don't sleep the way mortals do. It's more like torpor. Halfas also needs to go through torpor but it's not easy for warm-blooded creatures to do it. They need a specific environment. They naturally want a cold environment that has a lot of pressure on them. Just like if they were buried in their grave.

Danny has to deal with it somehow. He uses about 10 weighted blankets and as many frozen compresses as he can get. It's not working well but it's something.

That is until he had a run in with Mr.Freeze. Being locked in a small container meant to freeze him to death slowly until Batman came was not bad at all. Being locked in the equivalent of a frozen coffin gave Danny the best sleep he had had in a long time. A bit more pressure and it would be perfect for him. Just like being entombed in the cold dark earth where he felt like he belonged.

Being a student is a full time job that they don't pay you for so you can have another full time job they pay you minimum wage for.

Training the Bat Way (aka Bruce’s Terrible Parenting 101)

Bruce Wayne, aka the Dark Knight, aka the absolute worst, has this little training exercise that the entire family unanimously despises. He calls it “building resilience” or “preparing for the unexpected.” The rest of the family calls it Bruce’s stupid sleep-deprivation kidnapping game.

Here’s how it works: Bruce waits until you’re at your absolute lowest—after a grueling week of non-stop patrols, minimal sleep, and a near-catastrophic Gotham meltdown. Once you’ve finally collapsed into a dead sleep (and sometimes, after he’s sneakily slipped you a sedative to make sure you stay asleep), he picks you up, sticks you on a plane, and drops you off in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it’s a remote village in the mountains; sometimes it’s the bustling heart of a city on the other side of the planet. The challenge? Find your way home.

Occasionally, Bruce will leave you with some supplies: a wallet, maybe a burner phone, a little equipment if he’s feeling generous. But more often than not, you’ll wake up with absolutely nothing. No money, no ID, no tools—just the clothes on your back and a pounding headache from whatever the hell Bruce drugged you with.

Some highlights of Bruce’s 'training' include:

• Dick waking up in the middle of Germany with nothing but his expired driver’s license and missing socks (He'd hidden cash in them, so he can only guess Bruce found it).

• Steph regaining consciousness in Iceland with a crumpled €5 euro and zero idea how to exchange it for local currency.

• Damian waking up in the middle of the Sahara Desert. No gear. No money. Nothing but sand and the distant memory of Bruce’s smug face.

• Tim once took over a month to get home from a tiny town in Thailand. By the time he made it back to Gotham, he’d created an entire fake identity, complete with forged documents, an elaborate backstory, and several new international contacts. Bruce called it “impressive.” Tim called it traumatizing.

• Cass, of course, took this completely in stride. Woke up in India, dismantled a shady criminal organization she stumbled across, and then casually returned to Gotham two days later like nothing had happened. When asked how she managed it, she just shrugged.

• Duke waking up in the Grand Canyon with his phone at 1% and a granola bar in his pocket. He got home in less than a day, having hitched a ride, bartered his way onto a train, and charmed a group of tourists into helping him. He also got himself a pet chameleon on the way, somehow.

• Jason refuses to talk about his turn, but based on the suspicious amount of diplomatic immunity he now has in several Eastern European countries, it’s safe to say he didn’t play by Bruce’s rules.

If they’re lucky, Bruce leaves them somewhere within the U.S., in which case the Wayne name might help speed up the process. But outside of the States? Forget it. Flashing a “Wayne” credit card can cause more problems than it solves (That's if they're even lucky enough to have a credit card to flash in the first place).

To the rest of the family, this whole thing is less of a “training exercise” and more of a weird, sadistic game Bruce plays when he thinks they’re getting too soft. And no matter how many times they complain, Bruce insists it’s “for their own good.” Because of course he does.

The thing is, they all do get home. Eventually. And yeah, maybe they come back stronger or sharper or whatever excuse Bruce uses to justify it. But at what cost? (Mostly their sanity and a burning hatred of international airline fees.)

Still, the Bats have learned to adapt. They’ve formed their own set of unspoken rules:

1. Always keep some emergency cash hidden somewhere on your person (And hope Bruce doesn't find it, because he will take it).

2. Never, ever fully trust that glass of water Bruce hands you after patrol.

3. And if you wake up in the middle of nowhere, the first step is simple: curse Bruce Wayne’s name as loudly and creatively as possible. Then get to work.

Because at the end of the day, they will get home. And they’ll probably sucker-punch Bruce the second they do.

DPxDC More Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes

Dick, opening his arms wide and going for a hug: hey, Danny!

Danny, looking him in the eyes without blinking: did you know that centuries ago fae really liked to crawl inside human bodies and use them as nests? I heard human insides are really warm and squishy.

Dick, sweating, frozen in place: ...no?..

Danny, smiling and cheerfully jumping to hug Dick: I didn't either!

Jason, because he is feeling adventurous today: I have a question. Where do Fae come from?

Danny: Ah, so B hadn't had the Talk with you yet, what a shame. So when a woman and a man love each other very much-

Damian: Enough of your foolish jokes, I do not wish to hear the sex talk from you. To answer your question, Todd, Fae come from the dreams.

Jason, deadpan: ...really?

Danny, very awkwardly: Um. Dami. Brother to my soul. I'm so sorry.

Damian: What?

Danny: I told you we come from dreams only because you were four. That's not actually how it works. We just fuck.

Duke, narrowing his eyes at Danny suspiciously: So, for the past week and a half, I've been having this recurring dream about you eating my brain with a fork like spaghetti. I was wondering, is it, like, a you thing or a me thing?

Danny, very offended: Duke! Not every weird thing that happens in this house is my fault! That is very rude of you!

Cass, after Duke had apologized profusely and left: You.

Danny, rolling his eyes: Yeah, okay, I did do that. In my defense, his fear tastes like the perfect greasy cheeseburger, and I have to get my fair share of junk food somehow.

Cass: >:(

Danny: Okay, I'll stop. Eventually.

Bruce, in his nth attempt at gaining information from Danny: How do you know if someone is a Fae or not?

Danny: Throw a fish at them.

Bruce: ????

Danny, not even looking up from his phone: Fish are scared of the Fae. So if you throw a fish at someone and the fish gets scared, they are Fae.

Gotham Rogues a week later: We have no idea why Batman keeps throwing guppies at us, but we collectively suspect his new child is to blame.

Danny: Oh, I'm forbidden to enjoy caraoke nights.

Steph, who suggested he join: What? Why? Is it some kind of punishment for the pizza incident?

Tim: No, it's because if he starts singing, we all lose our grip on reality.

Damian: And our dignity.

Danny: They mean they start dancing whether they want it or not, and I have videos to prove it. Wanna see Jason twerking? Or I have one with Tim and Bruce waltzing through the manor.

Steph, as everyone else bemoans their fate: With great pleasure.

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@violet-foxe

Okay, hear me out

Kim Dokja, Dramaturgy (JudyPhonic ver)

It just fits so well!!