I Use The Terms Alas And I Fear Far Too Much I Fear. But Alas

When I say “girl help” I’m referring to Hashem thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

"you should be at the club" incorrect "you should be at pirate weekend at the renn fair" well this we cannot refute.

📢📢Tu B'Av ✡️ is today❣️ and you know what that means❓time ⏰ to get hitched 💒💒💒 and 🕰time to ❤️ LOVE❤️ here 👉are some things to love and appreciate: you’re SIGNIFICANT OTHER 👫👭👬, KISSING!! 💏 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨, your pets also need some lovin 💕🐶🐱🐭🐹🐰💕, also ☝️friends and family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👩‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👨‍👧‍👦there are SO MANY things to love and appreciate 💞🌈show your love for lady Israel 🇮🇱 show your love to all 🤘🏻🤘🏽🤘🏿 ethnicities and 🙏✡️✝️☪️☸️💕 religions because everyone deserves 💋kisses and hugs 🤗❣️❣️

מיקו שלא עובדת בשבת (:

My friend has a Janakh.

i’m actually pretty cool just give me like 5 tries to get it right

i’m at a party right now and i heard someone on a walkie talkie and i turned around and it’s a mom who left her kids home on their own for the first time ever (they’re old enough) and they live a few houses down so she gave them a walkie talkie to call her if they get nervous. they just walkietalkied her for permission to eat ice cream

the Sardine

TIKKUNOLAMRESISTANCE GOT DEACTIVATED

Jewishly anthropomorphizing and pitying the final candle on the chanukiah. It's not one of those that goes over and over, that lights up the songs every night, that sees every present and hears every giggle, kids taking turns on alternating nights, its base caked with islands of melted wax. It is left for the very very end and only goes once per year. And maybe by then, people are a bit worn out on dreidels and latkes and gelt and so the last candle never even meets some of its seasonal friends. It's okay, baby, you finally get your turn, we wouldn't forget you. Next year it will be different. Next year you'll meet them too.

It's the exact opposite of Tekiah Gedolah - which also only happens once but is unambiguously the star, the main attraction, all the oodles of Tekiahs seen as warm-ups by comparison for their gigantic grand finale elder brother, everybody's favorite and no one even pretends to hide it. I admire the Tekiahs for sticking to their role without one note of resentment or envy - which they totally absolutely feel, but their devotion to their job is greater.