Update: I'm A Child Again

I hope Nael knows their poem made me cry

if you've never engaged with a creative art on a regular basis you need to understand that it requires concerted effort to get into "the groove" to make something and every second that it takes to get into that groove causes physical pain, but the only thing worse than doing it is not doing it.

not aromantic but I believe in their beliefs.

"there's no platonic explanation for this" try harder bucko

this came to me in a dream

A lil composition idea I made for @httydbooks-doodler !!!

Happy 10th, Child's Play!

In highschool I wrote a story about a middle-generation of stellar travelers. Their parents were born on earth and left as children, and the middle generation will not live long enough to see their destination. They live their entire lives on the ship and I wrote about them trying to find their place in everything. They will never know blue skies and warm beaches and open fields with warm breezes. They’ll never know birdsong or crickets or frogs. They’ll never hear the rain on the roof of a dreary day. I never could find the right way to end the story. I wanted it to be a happy ending, but I didn’t know how to do it.

I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, it’s obvious now. It wasn’t then.

In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. They’re apathetic. They’re just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.

In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.

And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear “it gets better” and “when you’re older things will be easier” and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.

When I was in highschool I didn’t know how to end the story. I didn’t know how to have a happy ending. I didn’t have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didn’t know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.

But now that I’m older, I’m learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.

You have to teach yourself that being happy is not a radical idea.

One of the most beautiful things TOH has done is these three these beautiful Blight siblings

When we meet Edric and Emira we see their relationship with Amity is strain at best toxic at worse and I'll forever blame Odaliea for it

This woman pitted her children against each other and made sure the three were always against each other in some shape or form

Always referring Edric and Emira as the twins, always tying them together and making it seem as they are one instead of two separate individuals

{Emiras fear of being stuck with Edric forever showed that her biggest fear was never being seen as her own person which could have caused resentment and anger towards her brother}

Edric had seen himself as burden and someone who was always messing up and doubted himself a lot

Amity was put a lot of pressure by her mother but I have the feeling that she also purposely shown more love towards the twins {referring them to adorable scoundrels in front of Amity and them never getting into trouble} to keep them further apart

Lost in Language we saw how Edric and Emira wanted to teach Amity a lesson by threatening her with her diary while Amity was always telling on Edric and Emira its moments like this that gave us a small look at how Odealia treated them.

In a way Odealia convinced them that in order to have either a) her approval or b) to not be punished they had to find a way to hurt the other so the other will be okay

And yet, and yet the twins saw the error of their ways they apologized to Amity, they still do so because they felt guilty for hurting her

Amity began to care and worry for her siblings and we begin to see how much they love and care for each other.

Emira encouraging Amity to try the spell and giving her a pep talk showing her little sister she had confidence in her

The twins helping Amity and Luz with Grom, Amity and her siblings spending time together outside of Luz Edric and Emira sneaking them in the factory

hell we see Emira doing her hair {for me that was huge because for me my hair is important and only allow people i trust to touch it so seeing Emira and Amity have that moment it meant a lot to me} and Edric in her room but also giving her advice.

Edric and Emira helping Amity with the brawl and even getting mad at their dad when he wouldn't let Amity help him etc.

Edric and Emira coming to terms that they can have their own identity without losing the other that they can still be twins but be seen as their own person

The Blight siblings could have hated each other could've spent the entire show tolerating each other and only interacting the way most media siblings do making snarky remarks to each other hating on each other and only having moments when it was convenient to the plot

Odealia could've succeeded in making sure these three hated each other that they didn't interacted as much and kept putting up with one another but she didn't instead we got three siblings who put their differences aside acknowledge their wrong doings, apologized for it, and in the end got a sibling relationship that is built on mutual trust respect and above all love.

Edric Emria and Amity have come so far and grown so much the three have a beautiful bond one that they themselves were able to save and create something beautiful