Concept: Atsushi Using Kunikida’s Notebook To Keep A Journal Of Sorts.

Concept: Atsushi using Kunikida’s notebook to keep a journal of sorts.

He was hesitant to write in it at all given how important it is to Kunikida.

But he figured that when… if he returns that Kunikida would want to be updated about what’s been going on.

And he’d want it to be in his notebook.

The entries are always short because Kunikida always valued efficiency and Atsushi would hate to take up more room than he already has.

He always has the date and time clearly titled above before summarising the events thus far. His own thoughts bleed through the pages, his worries and his fears and his hopes.

As if he’s writing letters to the great beyond knowing they will probably never be read. He tries to imagine what Kunikida would reply to each one.

How Dazai would be grinning over his shoulder and tear it out of his hands to read. How they’d argue for hours and still give him all the advice he needs.

He apologises to no one when his tears stain the pages.

At some point Atsushi is able to access the now boarded up and abandoned Agency office. His hand shakes as he makes a note about medications Yosano’s had in stock that have expired and need replacing.

He spends 2 days just scrubbing the place like he was back in the orphanage. There’s no electricity so Atsushi makes a note that’ll need paying as he grabs a dustpan and sweeps.

He takes inventory and makes to do lists about what needs doing and uses the numbers Kunikida wrote down. The names and contacts of cleaners and builders who had always aided them when things go wrong.

They only ever pick up to scream at Atsushi for being a monster and to never call again. He neatly crosses them out and writes “I’m sorry” under each one.

He reads the older pages before bed. Old to do lists and ideals and principles and a schedule that was always so organised at erratic at the same time.

He falls asleep thinking of better days in a room that’s not his dorm and lays the notebook beside him.

Telling Kunikida, wherever you are…goodnight.