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how my autistic ass looks daydreaming for hours

My redneck neighbor Doug's interpretations on various 'Bad Batch' characters

So, it turns out my neighbor Doug, who lives next to me, is a MASSIVE Star Wars nerd. Hooray! Found this out earlier during a snow storm. He was thrilled when he found out my kids and I watch this show together, and had some...brilliant...insights on how he interprets the show. I'll be dropping some of the wildest descriptions here from time to time.

This was months ago, but damn it, it was so wild how this chubby Cajun Boomer described the show. I'm going to drop some of his best gems that he's texted me since January:

Crosshair: "So that there's Daddy Warcrimes. All you need to know is he lives on beer and Slim Jims, has more guns then Jesus got faith, and that he does your mom on the weekends, and then you thank him for his service."

Hunter: "Aw man, we got Rambo up in this place. Daddy Rambo. He looks like he's got some hot wife with a huge butt who makes amazing biscuits, but he only showers on the weekends for reasons he won't tell you."

Wrecker: "I know, I KNOW, he's got some cool Star Wars name, but in my head, he's Julio. He looks like a Julio, ya know? Every Julio's been the nicest guy with a truck and a million friends. I swear. I bet he's a contractor and lays pipe like you wouldn't believe." ::winks::

Tech: "Hm, yeah, I know him. That's Ryan-from-Accounting, somebody's hipster dad. You know, everyone knows a Ryan who works in accounting, he's quiet, only drinks IPAs, and has a bitch wife named Laura who drives a Kia and is always yelling at him. Poor man. I hope Julio saves him from his bitch wife Laura."*

Echo: "Eh, Toaster Strudel. Homeboy looks like his daddy had an affair with a convection oven on shore leave and forgot to pay child support."

Omega: "Little Orphan Blondie. I hope she gets real parents or something besides those freaky alien things running the mall on the ocean."**

Admiral Rampart: "I hate this smarmy jack-ass already. He looks like my asshole nephew who got some fancy degree but can't keep a job in corporate because he's such a little ass, he talks down to the janitors and always leaves at 2 pm 'to beat traffic'. He's MBA-Rob."

*=I can't emphasize the vitriol Doug had in his voice when describing 'bitch wife named Laura'. I am so deeply concerned for Ryan-from-Accounting, wherever he is.

**= 'The mall on the ocean' describing Tipoca City sent me. That is how I refer to it now.

cis man with gynecomastia scars: hi

the smartest transphobes in the world: kys tranny

and people wonder why I say that transphobia is a danger to everyone.

Everyone’s talking about Ezra reuniting with Hera or Zeb or meeting Jacen but no one has considered my need to have him reunite with Hondo, who would be the happiest to see him out of everyone

Rishi moon ell

imagine being trans in star wars. terminator dick graft

With an official nod from the mods, I'm now free to share the piece I did for @forcefatalezine ! The very first episode of The Clone Wars I ever caught on tv was Numa's debut episode Innocents of Ryloth and when little Numa appeared in Star Wars Rebels years later, I was overjoyed. Numa (and her brothers) will always hold a special place in my heart.

Special shout out to the Blurrgs. Ladies supporting ladies.