hi! how are you? ı hope you are having a nice day. do you have a favorite poet? can ı request a poem, if any?
:')
hiii
my favorite poet atm is Richard Siken. It changes a lot, but I adore poetry with strong specific imagery but that doesn't outwardly say anything, you know? I don't want them to tell me they love the person who left them. I want them to describe their overcoat's smell and the sheer hopelessness of life and a stranger's hands, or maybe something fantastical and absurd, and through that I want them to convey their message. Here's your poem, I hope you enjoy it :)
Eucharist
I am opening myself up
again, slowly,
prying my fingers into the dust-lined cracks
at the great cathedral doors of my
being, feeling splinters and soft
old wood meet my fingers like a warning:
you do things this way,
you might get hurt.
The warning never changes
but the outcome sometimes does and so
I dig my nails
in, feel ancient dirt gather
beneath them, and I pull. Wood creaking
like bones shifting, like mountains breathing,
and the light begins to spill in again,
and fear evaporates
the way mist does when the sun
brushes the hills in the morning,
and we are inside once more-
the stained glass still glitters,
the sound still
chatters off of every great stone palisade,
ringing,
a choir of one voice, just mine, crying out:
If I do it, it will be with love.
If I do it, it will be for love.
My experience being a fan of stuff
it’s just. i see you in everything, ya know? i bend at the waist to get closer to every rock i see because each one is a potential gift for you. i examine every beautiful leaf and picture it on your nightstand. i point my finger at fluffy clouds and turn my head to share my joy. sunset orange makes me think of you. sunrise pink does, too. tall buildings and green grass hold bits of you. wind gusts and book pages whisper memories of you. everywhere. you’re everywhere. no matter where you are or how long you’ve been gone, everywhere, everywhere. everywhere i look i just see you.
I’m not canonically autistic but it’s strongly implied
tragic and heartbreaking, guy who wants to have conversations can't think of conversation topics
january is one of those months where you experience every feeling on the human spectrum and you just have to go about your day like that isn't happening
*me plugging in my phone in the dark* dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think abotu it dont thinka botu it donmt think aboiut it dont think about it dont think abotu it dont thihnk about it dont think about it dont think about it dojnt think abtiou it dont thi
5. What makes you happiest in life?
It depends, do you want the long list or the short list? Over all, my pets, my family, music, my friends, and my partner <3
My family has always had dogs, and we have four right now (dog tax below)! We also had hermit crabs while I was in elementary school, and I had a Goliath beetle in a terrarium, and a worm garden/compost bin that I saw as my pets, but my dad secretly used for fishing bait lol.
I'm the oldest sibling in my family, and I have two younger siblings (hi Jordan lol). I'm honestly pretty close to my family, and I'm thankful to get along with them pretty well!
I've always loved music, and I think my taste in music is pretty broad. A few of my current top picks are Lovejoy, dodie (seeing her in concert soon hopefully!), Laufey, BTS, Lemon Demon, Billy Joel, Mitski (just now getting into her music honestly), Dream, Hozier, Sleeping At Last, mxmtoon, Taylor Swift, Paramore, Lizzy McAlpine, and anything musical theatre honestly lol. I also listen to 80's music pretty often, but that's what my parents listened to when I was a kid so it's just kind of ingrained in my lol.
I'm really lucky to be in a place now where I have several close friends that I really trust and can rely on (hi Jordan (again)). I have my sister, my cousin, my college roommate, and my partner, and a lot of other friends I've made in the last few years. For a long time I've struggled with making, and mostly keeping, friendships. It's easy to be friendly and get along with people, but I have a hard time taking the next step after that, so I feel like I have a lot of "surface level" friends. I love them, and I appreciate their place in my life, but there's a lot of people I wish I was able to be closer to. Past that, I've always wrestled with feeling like even if I make friends, they won't stick around or will make "better" friends and not need me around anymore. Unfortunately I've had it happen enough times that it's a deep fear of mine, but I'm slowly working through it thanks to my current friends :)
My partner and I have been dating for 5 years, but we've known each other since we were little kids. He's been my best friend and rock, especially through the rough time periods where my friendships were really struggling. He's been there for me through thick and thin, encouraged my growth as a person, and is absolutely just the most loving, kind, adorable person. He's my person, and he makes my days better just by existing <3
Maybe i should rewatch supernatural