Wheres Seasons Greasons

starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for… “russian spy”?

everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]

barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work

does anyone remember how MASSIVE of a craze zhu zhu pets were in the 2000s only to just…completely disappear from the face of the earth?

“Thanks Hank you really taught me a lot about propane and propane accessories!”

"And I tell you hwat, young man. I don't think I know hwat a 'heart of the cards' is, but I know for certain you've got the heart of a Texan."

REY WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU START RUNNING A SATIRE ACCOUNT OF OUR SHITTY UNI PRESIDENT (the GAs would love that shit lmao)

lol i went to delete a twitter account for reasons (i ran a satire account of my university’s president) and it wouldn’t let me.

Tbh relationship goals, I gave my bf a dead millipede once

gave my gf a dead butterfly yesterday

Tragedy enjoyers when characters haunt the narrative, when nothing can be done to save them, when small moments of respite and happiness only serve to send them closer to their inevitable end

Does anybody else get legitimately worried when a fanfic author who was updating regularly just suddenly disappears with no warning? Like, is it a serious case of writers block or are they in a coma? Did they just up and quit? Was it me? Were my reviews not good enough?! Did they die 😳?! Were they kidnapped? Do I need to file a missing persons report? Excuse me officer, there’s been 13 weekly updates and now nothing for months! Find them! What’s their name?! Name!? I don’t know their name but they write 3k+ chapters and I need them safe and back in my life!